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PffFAAArrrffFFFFfffffpppppppfffft
Ah, that's better.

Hi everyone, everything OK?
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:27, archived)
gonna dab some ash on my forehead

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:28, archived)
For the first time since 1945, Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day fall on the same date this year.
On Feb. 14, many Christians face a dilemma as they try to reconcile their faith with the traditional celebrations of romantic love. How exactly do you observe Valentine’s Day on the day Lent begins, marking the season of atonement leading up to Easter?

Can you be a believer and still celebrate with champagne and chocolate?

“Technically, yes,” says the Rev. Chris Valka, director of the Center for Faith and Culture at the University of St. Thomas in Houston, Texas, who also cautioned against excess. While desserts and alcohol are typically avoided on Ash Wednesday, Valka says “it’s really about the intentions behind the observance. What we’re really hoping for is a moment to recognize God is a presence in the relationship.”
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:30, archived)
cheers Rev.
or Valky to his mates
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:32, archived)
The Valkster

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:36, archived)
Valkinator

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:38, archived)
Valk Apone

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:41, archived)
Valka in the Middle

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:42, archived)
Valkaholic

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:45, archived)
The Incredible Valk

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:50, archived)
I'm Valking on Sunshine
Yeah, heah!
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 13:04, archived)
The Millennium Valkon

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:42, archived)
yo Rich, do you have a Valcony that goes with your new abode?

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:45, archived)
Sadly not, Wood-o

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:51, archived)
basically
"stuff your face and get drunk, as long as you don't use a condom afterwards".
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:37, archived)
We usually wish my sister a happy birthday

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:13, archived)
Rebrand it as Pash Wednesday and make everyone happy.

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:19, archived)

P R
happy infected
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:22, archived)
Holy threesomes, batman!

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 13:48, archived)
We Found Love 7/11, u?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-42962328
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:32, archived)
7 in heaven
❤️
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:38, archived)

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:38, archived)
Shit on a weevil, 2/11

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:38, archived)

❤️❤️
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:38, archived)
5/11 and a Bon Jovi song title
I'm calling that a win
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:41, archived)

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:42, archived)
SHOW US YER JOT
6/11
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:41, archived)

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:42, archived)
I have got sex of eleven

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:43, archived)

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:44, archived)

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️  
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:57, archived)
woah check out the lovely St John's Church in Coventry there
just out of shot is the massive hideous ikea they built right next door :(
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:09, archived)
If I remember
isn't there an equally hideous shopping center over the road from the church?
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:13, archived)
Coventry=Hideous

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:24, archived)
I googled it and I was right

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:24, archived)
meh we've got worse ones

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:29, archived)

eous den beauty
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:29, archived)
I'm off for a Valentines plops

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:42, archived)
try and do it in the shape of a heart
If you can't do that, try and make your sphincter prolapse so it looks like a single red rose
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:46, archived)
eew rosebudding

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:48, archived)

imgur.com/xinDY
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 13:18, archived)
Why, shouldn't it be?

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:48, archived)
check your stools for blood, that's all I'm saying

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 11:59, archived)
Alright Gillian McKeith

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:21, archived)
You should not have blood on any of the furniture
neve leave a mark, never draw blood - basics of domestic violence.
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:24, archived)
well I was
and then I spoke to someone who kept pronouncing turmeric as tyoo-merrick and now I'm not
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:02, archived)
That drives me fucking nuts

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:52, archived)
I've just had a visit from an old friend who wants to start a new business
She said she's going to employ me. I was interested until it became clear she's completely barking. She wants to buy clothes from charity shops, wash them, then stick a label in them saying "designs by Debbie " and sell them on as designer clothes. I tried to explain that this is basically fraud, but she believes that if she buys them, she can call them whatever she wants.
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:12, archived)
That's a shit idea.
Why would anyone think that worn old tatty clothes would be designer?
All clothes from charity shops do not look new...

She'd be better off taking them to a place where they pay you per kg
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:21, archived)
I hadn't seen her in years
Didn't realize she'd gone utterly tonto.
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:26, archived)
Is she at least well dressed?

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:27, archived)
Not any more

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:30, archived)
By Debbie you say?
*throws money at the screen*
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:22, archived)
I'm going to take a leaf out of your friend's book.
I'm going to go through all the small ads for cars for sale, buy up the shittiest old lemons for tuppence ha'penny, stick a 'Porsche' logo on each one and open a Porsche dealership.
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:24, archived)
No, not Porsche
"yes, this is a Debbie Focus next to the Debbie C3 without an exhaust and a Debbie Clio."
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:25, archived)
That is arguably a better analogy.
Then again, if I'm buying them, I can call them whatever I want.
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:27, archived)
You could buy a Yeti Yeti

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:28, archived)
I'm not sure how much money there is in those m8.

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:30, archived)
you used to be able to make decent money buying the cars in freeads,
washing them and relisting them for double the price. Until the DVLA cracked down on people owning more than 10 cars a year.
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:28, archived)
Really? You'd have to have a good knowledge of what was underpriced because it looked crap in the pics

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:32, archived)
we're talking sub-1000 shitters here
as long as you make 100 pounds per car, all it cost you was the stamp to send the V5 off.
Sometimes even the tax disc was the sole value of the car, but even that's non-transferable these days :(
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:38, archived)
She said it'd work
I asked her how and she just said "I'll make it work ". She has an appointment with her bank manager next week as she wants a loan. I told her to give me a call after she got it. Doubt I'll be hearing from her any time soon.
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:29, archived)
You know what, keep in touch
the downward spiral of a friend into a mental health crisis is really good comedy material. You could get a BBCIII show out of it...
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:34, archived)
I really regret giving her my number

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:38, archived)
I have been revising for my exam and practising writing
I've got a 2 hour exam in old-school conditions i.e. hand-written papers. I've not written continuously for that long since I was doing my A levels so doing a couple of trial-runs.
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:21, archived)
for work?

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:24, archived)
Work are making me do the qualification
I took today off as study leave. They did pay the £500 it will cost so not complaining.
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:26, archived)
remember this and you will do fine
F proves that if F proves that (P → Q) and F proves P then F proves Q. In other words, F proves that ProvA(#(P → Q)) and ProvA(#(P)) imply ProvA(#(Q))
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:31, archived)
I'll have it tattooed on the inside of my eyelid immediately

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:33, archived)
Get yourself a really, really thick-calibre pen
so it'll just feel like you're wanking for two hours.
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:25, archived)
I'll last 20 strokes then splurge on the paper and walk out disinterested in the subject any longer

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:27, archived)
it's like you've known me all my life

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:32, archived)
Better get cracking with those trial runs then, eh?

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:32, archived)
Maybe taking the whole day off was a bit ambitions
short revision sessions probably more realistic
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 12:35, archived)
Right
I'm off to a 3 hour meeting to talk about return on marketing investment (ROMI). Hoo fucking rah.
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 13:03, archived)