You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Post a new message | View older messages | Popular | Search

Is everyone ready for Christmas yet?

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:01, Reply)
Yes!
Not really. Just pulling your leg.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:04, Reply)
Talking of legs
I found some black ice at a junction and now my leg is bleeding
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:07, Reply)
I learnt from yesterday's error
Today I was in full snow gear despite there being not so much of a frost where I live: sure enough our here in North Finchley there's still shitloads of snow and ice everywhere: I saw two people wipe out on my way up from the tube.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:09, Reply)
Was it a funny fall over or an ambulance required fall?

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:16, Reply)
both were Mr Bean style slapstick falls rather than 'pensioner with cracked skull' dramas

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:23, Reply)
It's normally their hips that get cracked.
Well, the neck of the femur, but I think one goes into the other.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:27, Reply)
The neck of the femur, eh?
ok
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:31, Reply)
The hip bone's connected to the
thigh bone.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:36, Reply)
I'm just glad I fell over on my bicycle
a bit of road rash and I'm fine. If I'd been on the motorbike there would have been crunching and expensive damage.

There's a water leak on the road which wasn't a problem. What WAS a problem is the junction a few metres down the road where the water that had been taken by the car wheels going through the puddle has frozen. Not being a flat sheet you can't see how icy it is until you're hugging it.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:18, Reply)
Why must you make everything into a race issue?

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:09, Reply)
Because I'm very competitive

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:14, Reply)
Despite extensive digging around yesterday, I can't find my slip-on crampons.
Luckily most of the snow's gone over here today so I didn't need them on the way in #thatsinteresting.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:11, Reply)

❄☃⛄⛇🌨⛇⛄☃❄☃⛄☃⛇☃⛇⛇⛇☃☃❄❄❄❄☃⛄⛇⛄☃☃⛄⛄☃☃❄❄❄❄❄❄❄🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨⛇🌨⛇🌨⛇🌨⛇🌨⛇🌨⛇⛄☃⛄⛇🌨🌨⛇⛄☃❄☃⛄⛇🌨🌨🌨⛄❄⛇⛄🌨☃❄🌨⛄☃☃☃☃☃☃❄❄❄❄❄❄⛇⛇⛇⛇⛇
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:05, Reply)
^ Walking in the air.

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:06, Reply)
I'm high

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:16, Reply)
Chris who?
Might watch Zathura, later.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:07, Reply)
I might punch myself repeatedly in the bollocks, so much the same thing really

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:13, Reply)
Yeah, I'd probably enjoy watching that, too.

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:18, Reply)
Thus spake Zathura?

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:16, Reply)
2001 was alright, but it needed more CGI Dewbacks.

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:23, Reply)
I can't believe they're bringing Jar Jar back.
Have they learnt nothing?
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:24, Reply)
whoa whoa I wasn't ready for the morning thread yet

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:24, Reply)
Being honest, it was a terrible thread

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:27, Reply)
not like this top class classic

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:52, Reply)
One for the ages

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:04, Reply)
might delolte

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:05, Reply)
you'll have to wait until tomorrow (morning) for the next one

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:27, Reply)
I have similar concerns about you and 'this jelly'

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:30, Reply)
it's possibly a little too bootylicious for me

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:04, Reply)
this is what I feared

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:09, Reply)
I can't tell

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:30, Reply)
I bet you are

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:32, Reply)
It's because we don't have our Christmas icons, yet.

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:36, Reply)
i've asked. twice!
we are being forsaken by an angry god
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:46, Reply)
What, you can't just switch them on when you choose?
This is an outage.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:56, Reply)
And an outrage, too.
I've sent rob a tweet.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:00, Reply)
Nobody responds to your tweets

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:03, Reply)
It's exactly this defeatist attitude that is destroying this forum.

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:05, Reply)
Well, this is a first.
twitter.com/robmanuel/status/940521679096295424?s=17
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:17, Reply)
Sure am buddy
I'm so excited I could literally excrete raw faecal matter
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:30, Reply)
YESSSSSSSSS

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:31, Reply)
um, it's actually the start of hannukkah today
so could you be a bit more culturally sensitive plz?
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:41, Reply)
eff off, yiddo

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:43, Reply)
You're in an exceptionally sour mood this morning, even for you.
Is everything alright at home?
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:54, Reply)
I'm fine thanks. This is me in good humour, I'm afraid

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:06, Reply)
mazel tov !

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:06, Reply)
Did you light your candle?

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:14, Reply)
^sure hard to handle

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:23, Reply)
something about "yo mamma".

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:28, Reply)
Come on now... don't be silly.
We asked this yesterday
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 10:28, Reply)
Morning.

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 7:39, Reply)
morning winders
it's currently snaining.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 7:47, Reply)
I'm back in to work.
Bit cold
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:01, Reply)
Alright dribble

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 7:55, Reply)
Fuck off mate

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:01, Reply)
End a gud morning to you.
Went back to the gym last night for the first time in over a month and there's definitely something fecked with my shoulder.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:04, Reply)
Just have it off

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:05, Reply)
Disgusting

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:10, Reply)
He'

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:16, Reply)
hey bae

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:07, Reply)
Cracking weather gromit

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:19, Reply)
Top work, Windows.
School's out, again.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:18, Reply)
Good stuff.
By not having been in yesterday I got away with not having to clear any snow or do any gritting.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:20, Reply)
Google maps shows my drive to work as being at least twice as long as usual, this morning,
so I'm doing my bit by staying off the roads.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:33, Reply)
just don't browse for porn while you're on a vpn

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:21, Reply)
#lifehacks

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:31, Reply)
Yah man

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:25, Reply)
I'm not being responsible for fucking Williams and JUMANJI chat. Sorry.

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:57, Reply)
we're all sorry

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:00, Reply)
I've never seen JUMANJI
Or The Lion King.
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:03, Reply)


(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:42, Reply)
I do hope that's a non gender specific snowperson.

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:44, Reply)
Well done, girls

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:48, Reply)
That chap is trying to sue the school.

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:58, Reply)

🌨
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:59, Reply)

❄☃❄☃❄☃🌊☃❄☃❄☃⛇⛇⛇⛇⛇⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛇⛇⛇⛄⛇⛇⛄⛇⛇⛇⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄☃☃☃☃☃❄❄❄❄
(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 8:59, Reply)
Icy crashy morning!

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:07, Reply)
turtle power

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 9:29, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 7:29, Reply)
Who will stomp your morning thread, today?

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 7:37, Reply)
On it

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 7:39, Reply)
Ragnarok Shirtlifter

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 7:55, Reply)
If you buy 4 tins of kronney in the festive box for 3.50 ( prices may vary) you get a free pair of socks , I can't think of anything that can better this in 2017

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 20:27, Reply)
That's my Christmas shopping sorted.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 20:37, Reply)
So can we tick you off as ready for Christmas?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 20:45, Reply)
Don't fucking tick anything

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 21:33, Reply)
Yes! £4.60 though ;(

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 20:38, Reply)

imgur.com/a/gF0cB
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 20:44, Reply)
4 quid I'd say yeah, the extra 60p is a pisstake

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 20:47, Reply)
#deadcheggers

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 22:07, Reply)
You can't drink kronney out of a sock!

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 22:35, Reply)
Bet you've never even tried

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 22:51, Reply)
You spill the beer, you mop it up with a sock, you wring the sock out into a glass, you drink the beer, what's difficult about that?

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 1:00, Reply)
Can't believe it's already International Mountain Day

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 16:46, Reply)
K

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 16:48, Reply)
2

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 16:48, Reply)
I've been mountin' YM all day
(Do we still do YM jokes?)
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 16:48, Reply)
probably not

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:24, Reply)
I walked up part of an alp, once.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 16:51, Reply)
not hero

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:24, Reply)
I climbed Ben Nevis as a kid.
The mountain, not the local bully.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:05, Reply)
hero

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:24, Reply)
Check out this pair
PHWOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAR
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:07, Reply)
Mt. Tits

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:10, Reply)
nice

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:24, Reply)
wallop

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:26, Reply)
I can't believe my cousin's mother's grandmother's friend knows Angela Merkel

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:09, Reply)
jerkel that merkel

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:24, Reply)
My dads boiler has broken down.
Anyone know a decent heating or boiler servicing engineer in Oxford?
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:12, Reply)
Bit beyond my remit

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:16, Reply)
no, soz

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:23, Reply)
Ask Boyce...

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:26, Reply)
They already have a high opinion of themselves, so stuck up but with their head in the clouds ..lol

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:17, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:23, Reply)
I love a mountain roast

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:29, Reply)
*shakes beans*

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:45, Reply)
Really? They seem to have an international day for everything these days!

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 17:54, Reply)
international day for everything day is next week

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 18:01, Reply)
have a beer to celebrate

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 18:30, Reply)
i went to bear mountain once, some yank breathed down my neck, i didn't like it

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 18:00, Reply)
sounds like a gay club night m8

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 18:09, Reply)
gay club night sounds gay m8, no offense

(, Tue 12 Dec 2017, 1:01, Reply)
oh :(

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 18:30, Reply)
*plays Mississippi Queen*

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 18:12, Reply)
Mcbeef in drag?
:(
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 18:14, Reply)
Shania Laboef

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 18:20, Reply)
That don't impress me much.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 18:52, Reply)
yes!

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 18:31, Reply)
anyone remember naked jungle?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:25, Reply)
was that the Keith Chegwin thing?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:27, Reply)
The late Keith Chegwin.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:27, Reply)
Ah gotcha
Cheggers plays pop his clogs etc
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:44, Reply)
CHEGGERS went POP!

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:27, Reply)
One less ginger in the world

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:30, Reply)
Maggie Philbin deserved better.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:49, Reply)
Cheggers Gays Plops more like

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:52, Reply)
No.
What was it?
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:28, Reply)
Bit like undressed Drumm'N'Bass I guess

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:31, Reply)
Was that before they rebranded it as beatboxing in the nude?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:32, Reply)
I don't wear branded boxers
actually
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:34, Reply)
a very small penis

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:35, Reply)
a national disgrace

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:36, Reply)
A source of huge frustration. I lived with my family at the time and we could only get channel 5 in black and white with wiggly bits and hissing.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:48, Reply)
There's probably nude pics of Cheggers online if you want to relieve your frustration

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:53, Reply)
Dead

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:32, Reply)
i only come here to talk about dead celebrities these days
see you tomorrow!
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:39, Reply)
I pulled £426 from the Death Pool at work when Fidel Castro popped his clogs
Who says Communism doesn't pay
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:44, Reply)
i don't know, i've never heard anyone say it

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:50, Reply)
I just did

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 15:15, Reply)
ok, well the answer you are looking for is 'sporters'

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 15:19, Reply)
I am the naked jungle

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:35, Reply)
the real naked jungle is the friends we made along the way

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:37, Reply)
amen, brother

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:38, Reply)
yes

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:40, Reply)
i bet you've got every episode on vhs
like a true british patriot
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:46, Reply)
Of course

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:49, Reply)
wasn't there only one episode?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 15:21, Reply)
that would fit on a vhs no problem

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 15:28, Reply)
i still have some of those
i'm slowly replacing them with dvds so i keep them to remind me which ones to buy
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 15:29, Reply)
lol dvds, ok grandma

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 15:57, Reply)
i like them

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 16:14, Reply)
He was good in that Viz documentary

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:43, Reply)
Poor fella
I'd have been on the sauce hard if that was the thing people remembered me for. He was pretty good in his time on the Big Breakfast.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:54, Reply)
with that coke head and jamiroquai's bird?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:58, Reply)
Jamiroquai was banging Gabby Roslin?
*boke*
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 15:02, Reply)
Lily Savage?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 15:33, Reply)
He'd have needed a step ladder...

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 19:40, Reply)
Oh before I forget we need to add you to the spreadsheet, are you ready for christmas the doveston?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:59, Reply)
i'm always ready for xmas, i am all about xmas

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 15:11, Reply)
Good work soldier

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 15:16, Reply)
Have you got a giant light up display of santa and all his reindeer plastered across the front of your house?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 15:24, Reply)
He's Brown bread.
No. Brown Sauce.
No. Brown bread.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 15:00, Reply)
VPN isn't working so neither am I.
Watching Jingle All The Way with 2/3 of my kids, instead.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:10, Reply)
i work in I.T. so i think i can help
put scrooged on instead, it's got that weird speaking man from police academy

or it's a wonderful life, that's also good
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:12, Reply)
Fuck off mate

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:13, Reply)
and???

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:14, Reply)
This is my blog and you can't unsubscribe.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:21, Reply)
light him up

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:36, Reply)
wasting hard-working taxpayers' money

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:15, Reply)
But are you ready for Christmas?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:19, Reply)
How many christmas watches do you own?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:22, Reply)
I own no Christmas themed watches

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:25, Reply)
Non Christmas thread.
www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/15710987.Future_of_long_running_Oxford_sex_shop_to_be_decided_tonight_after_Bullfinch_concerns_resurface/#comments-anchor

Some excellent comments here. Is there a place for sex shops in our modern world?
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:16, Reply)
Sorry to hijack this thread, but I just wondered if everyone was ready for Christmas yet?
I know a couple of us didn't seem to be quite ready earlier, but hopefully now they are.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:21, Reply)
I thought it had been cancelled
What with us now living under Sharia law
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:24, Reply)
Ask me again tomorrow, we can keep track of our forum chums progress

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:26, Reply)
I might make a google docs spreadsheet so we can follow all our b3ta chums ready for christmasness and offer our support to those who aren't quite there yet

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:12, Reply)
Topical!!!

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:29, Reply)
Sure am buddy
I'm so excited I could literally defecate
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:32, Reply)
I'm basting my figgi puddi everyday

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:38, Reply)
Cor

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:39, Reply)
i LOVE christmas!
use this is you want to www.xmasclock.com
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:51, Reply)

hristma ock

lol
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:49, Reply)
haha!

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:56, Reply)
Amen
A well run sex shop does not create child abuse just as Tesco selling alcohol responsibly and within the law does not create child alcoholism. Cowley Road is not, and never has been, 'family centric' - it's full of bars and pubs, none of which are remotely family friendly. The objectors to this licence have never liked there being a 'private shop' on Cowley Road because they are prudish and think it devalues their houses, and are using 'won't somebody think of the children' as an excuse. It's a slur on those badly affected by Bullfinch to use them in this way.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:23, Reply)
Its thinking of the children that caused this problem in the first place

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:18, Reply)
These days, a traditional sex shop is one of the few places you can still buy a penis beaker.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:25, Reply)
I'll be your Private Shop, sell porn for money
Order in what you want me to
I'm your Private Shop, sell porn for money
And any old shopper will do
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:27, Reply)
shut up m8

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:28, Reply)
You can't silence the Internets no.1 political Tina Turner tribute act

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:50, Reply)
Tina. Do you have sufficient Cadbury's miniature chocolates for Christmas?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:13, Reply)
She dont need another ....

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:19, Reply)
A proper Tina tribute act would have been all over that Sporters.
No chance of them winning the Turner prize next year.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:20, Reply)
Bring back Ike...

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:40, Reply)
I prefer to make my own sex at home.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:44, Reply)
what type of glue do you use?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:49, Reply)
Gloy Gum.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:54, Reply)
Prick stick

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:43, Reply)
Serious answer this time
I think there is a place for sex shops in the modern world but it's not a place that most of them seen in any hurry to occupy. Because we as a society are so cripplingly repressed about everything sexual, sex shops have become secret and sordid places that no-one ever talks about visiting. A lot of them cheerfully accept this reputation and are populated by glassy-eyed men with thousand-yard stares and rapist's raincoats, shuffling from foot to foot and sweating. Even the largest one where I am has a separate and nondescript exit at the back so that no-one has to see you've just been in a sex shop.

If, on the other hand, they were actually sex-positive places, places that acted as a source of information and advice for people looking to satisfy a normal human need, society as a whole would be a healthier and a happier place. Just think how many thousands if not millions of couples there are and have been in the world whose sex life is utterly inadequate for no good reason, but they're too insecure or too uninformed to know that things can be better. The one sex shop in which I've ever seen couples and single women is a relatively new one in town that markets itself as a much softer and friendlier emporium - you could almost mistake it for a greeting cards shop at first glance. It sells comedy sexy mugs and aprons, fluffy handcuffs, glittery massage powder, head massagers, dice, lollipops and more, beside the more 'traditional' sex toys. It's doing so well that it's just had to move to larger premises. Sex is fun. Enjoy yourself.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:59, Reply)
christ just shut the fuck up will you no one is reading all that shit you type

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:05, Reply)
Lol.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:09, Reply)
I think I'll go for a wank

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:08, Reply)
Right you are.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:09, Reply)
Women always seem happy to go into the seedy looking sex shops to buy chocolate willies for hen-dos.
They'll always come back with a story about visiting the fabled back room, and being shown a massive black dildo.
I've never known any men who'd admit to visiting one, though.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:11, Reply)
Exactly, so clearly the only way to talk about sex is to make a massive joke about it.
Of course, I understand that women can't casually admit to having bought a little something for themselves while they were there either, because every man within earshot would promptly turn into a sweaty-handed lunatic.

The sex shop with the secret rear exit has a 'cinema' upstairs that's paid for single men and for single women, but free for couples. When I was in there with my girlfriend at the time, we thought we'd check it out, for a laugh. There was one small, empty room with a couch, a TV screen and a DVD player. At the end of the corridor was a larger, open room, again with a couch and a DVD player. Sitting on the couch were three zombified, silent men, who started looking at my girlfriend as if she were the last piece of chef's special chicken at an all-you-can-eat buffet. We left.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:18, Reply)
I'll bet women love to watch a pneumatic bimbo get choked and slapped by some dude with a freakishly large penis.
I genuinely have no problem with people being more "sex positive" and less uptight, but I reserve my right to point and laugh at the same time.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:33, Reply)
Oh, granted, porn has a long way to go in that regard as well.
It's even teaching an entire generation of young people that casual violence and degradation are the norm in the bedroom, that the woman's pleasure is incidental and that if you're not packing ten inches, you're a failure as a man. For anyone with any genuine 'organic' experience, it is of course ridiculously unrealistic and dumb.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:37, Reply)
It's lucky that all those steroids I took to enhance my physique didn't shrink my 12" willy,
or my wife wouldn't let me spank her fanny.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:03, Reply)
I hope they're steam cleaned regularly...
I wouldn't be flopping my bits on other peoples souped up haberdashery in a hurry.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:41, Reply)
effin 'ell
you just used up half teh internets allowed number of characters on a webpage just to say something about sex
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:16, Reply)
Cor, sex! Who doesn't love a bit of that, eh?
Wahey!
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:17, Reply)
No wonder I could never see the point of Twitter.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:18, Reply)
it's 280 characters now if that helps wordman

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:19, Reply)
True, but still.
It's just like you're talking to yourself, isn't it?
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:20, Reply)
yes but you might say something stupifyingly amazing and go viral
#lifegoals
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:22, Reply)
i only read the first paragraph to be fair
anne summers seem to straddle the line well enough, funderwear out the front and 12" black mambas out the back
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:17, Reply)
'Funderwear', heh.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:27, Reply)
Even Primark has a naughty Christmas section this year...
Clear as day, on the main floor of the Manchester branch.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:32, Reply)
Pics or it didn't happen.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:45, Reply)
ok hun

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:50, Reply)
^paedo apologist

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:38, Reply)
No m8.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:45, Reply)
I saw someone trying to defend paedophilia as a legitimate sexuality on other parts of the internet.
And it's a good argument for nobody being allowed online at all.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:55, Reply)
It's not even a sexuality; it's a paraphilia.
On a related note, those glass bottles in which posh soups are sold can easily be transformed into offensive weapons, so as a precautionary measure we should ban soup.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:01, Reply)
False equivalence.
Having soup readily available hasn't caused groups of dangerous soup glass shiv wielding people to band together and persuade more folk that glass shivs are ok and distribute glass shivs and produce glass shivs
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:09, Reply)
This is turning into Brass Eye.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:10, Reply)
I hope net neutrality gets voted down

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:13, Reply)
no thanks

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:42, Reply)
Yeah we all know you're allergic to fun m8.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:44, Reply)
I like using the word chrimbo.
CHRIMBO!!!!
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 13:43, Reply)
I would like it if you shut up.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 14:00, Reply)
Mid-Morning goys
you all sorted for chrimblemasspoppypoos?
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:07, Reply)
Not even started yet. Gonna get a tree on the way home from the yard today.
Might order some presents as well.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:08, Reply)
Ive done most of mine online ...
Going to go into town on the last Saturday before, for some last minute gifts, like the idiot I am.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:16, Reply)
I think I might take and afternoon off work this week
to go to the pub Christmas shopping
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:34, Reply)
Sure am buddy
I'm so excited I could literally plop
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:13, Reply)
Nope!
Haven't started. Ain't getting a tree, don't do Christmas cards, and if I can't get what I need on Amazon then it isn't gonna happen.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:14, Reply)
No tree for us this year either, not with this puppy.
Lights and Judy garlands dotted about the place.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:17, Reply)
Our cat is totally not interested in the tree
She has, however taken great umbrage of the flashing Christmas lights behind her shithouse.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:28, Reply)
lol, friend of Dorothy

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:00, Reply)
I'm doing a bit fat nowt for Christmas this year.
Although I might help my dad put his tree up if he feels like it. That reminds me: I should ask my brother what he wants for Chrimbo.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:20, Reply)

tr will

lol
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:21, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:22, Reply)


(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:32, Reply)

nowt poo

lol
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:30, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:31, Reply)


(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:35, Reply)
Yep
I've got two easy things to pick up and some wrapping to do but that's it.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:22, Reply)
Bought 90% of the stuff for the mrs
Then she dropped her laptop last week. Bah.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:27, Reply)
Has wrapping replaced beatbox?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:28, Reply)
NEVER!

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:29, Reply)
beatboxing while wrapping is where it's at.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:40, Reply)
Tree was up last week
Picking up the Radio Times tomorrow. That is 50% of the job done right there
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:24, Reply)
I opened the first bottle of port of the season yesterday

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:30, Reply)
noiss

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:31, Reply)
I shall be decanting my sloe gin and sloe vodka to remove said berries tonight
They smell amazing
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:34, Reply)
You always were a bit sloe

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:34, Reply)
I have purposely waited over 20 mins to reply to this

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:59, Reply)
Ah, now that takes me back.
Haven't had port at Christmas since college days.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:35, Reply)
I couldn't give a fuck about it

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:37, Reply)
typical jew

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:38, Reply)
This is about the 20th post asking if we are ready for Christmas, it's fucking tedious

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:49, Reply)
nearly time for the lunch thread!!

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:50, Reply)
what about now?
are you ready now?
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:55, Reply)
Weekend plans???

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:01, Reply)
weekend Christmas plans?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:03, Reply)
Weekend Christmas lunch plans?? R U ready ???111!!!!

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:05, Reply)
turkey wurkey nyom nyom lol

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:13, Reply)
enough about that... what are you eating at christmas?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:08, Reply)
I'm all about Kwanzaa

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:55, Reply)
No treble

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:59, Reply)
My left boot is no longer waterproof.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:04, Reply)
shocking Daniel day-lewis didn't win an oscar for that sequel

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:06, Reply)
+ Dear Liza

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:17, Reply)
Yep
Tree and decorations go up Wednesday and all the food and presents have been bought
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 12:15, Reply)
Morning guy's

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 7:05, Reply)

Alright
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 7:29, Reply)
y

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:14, Reply)
Did it snow again? I can't be arsed to look out yet

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 7:44, Reply)
nah, just raining
should've worn my wellies to work, where I live there's no snow left at all, but out here in Finchley there's still shitloads.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:13, Reply)
STRIKETHROUGH E!
INSERT I!
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:21, Reply)
calm down ffs

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:25, Reply)
Soz m8 xx just excited about my new sneaks

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:59, Reply)
I hope they help you do good at PE

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:20, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:25, Reply)
if it was'nae for your wellies, where would you be? you' be in the hospital or infirmery
classic Billy Conolly
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:00, Reply)
morning
I had pig lard and pickles this weekend, cos you put me in the mood.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 7:52, Reply)
I have that effect on people

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:13, Reply)
Mo'rning'.
The weather's gone all sleet petite today.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:05, Reply)
ain't it just

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:14, Reply)
IT'S TRAVEL CHAOS!!!!!11
morning
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:12, Reply)
yo

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:13, Reply)
Shits bra bell gay toss, more like

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:41, Reply)
No school, today.
I'd already arranged to work from home, so I expect I'll be yelling at them a lot.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:13, Reply)
Brexit's fault

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:14, Reply)
Proper British snow, now we're finally taking our weather back
White Is Right
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:19, Reply)
Snow belongs in Switzerland.
We're getting bit of proper British rain, now.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:26, Reply)
you belong in Switzerland

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:30, Reply)
SHITzerland more like

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:30, Reply)
The silicon chip inside her head got switched to overload?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:00, Reply)
I'm paralysed with fear

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:29, Reply)

fear motor neurone disease
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:30, Reply)
My ex's dad died of that, shitty way to go

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:32, Reply)
fucking horrible

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 8:43, Reply)
Morning
We are still devoid of snow here
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:16, Reply)
you can have some of ours if you like

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:25, Reply)
I like snow
But it makes me run like a cartoon character and I fall over a lot.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:32, Reply)
Have just crawled my car down to the garage.
Not a pleasant experience, council do fuck all about gritting.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:32, Reply)
They only grit the main roads here
Despite the fact that people use those roads a lot less than the council think
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:34, Reply)
Yeah, the main road through town has been done,
but good luck actually getting on to it.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:37, Reply)
There's a slope from the main road down to our office car park.
People are parking in the street so they don't get stuck later on.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:35, Reply)
Sensible.
I had my car slide out from a side road, a couple of years back, not a pleasant experience.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:36, Reply)
when I was younger
I loved taking my shitty car out in the snow. Getting it sideways down country lanes was ace!
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:51, Reply)
A friend of mine did a full 360° on a motorway sliproad in the snow once.
Said she felt like she'd aged five years in the space of ten seconds.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:57, Reply)
she should've walked away

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:00, Reply)
Not driving is good when it comes to icy roads
But walking is cold as fuck and often involves the whole falling over thing
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:43, Reply)
This is also true.
At home I've got a pair of 'urban crampons' that you stretch over the soles of your shoes. They were the only thing that stopped me faceplanting all over the place on some days last winter.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:50, Reply)
I should probably get some

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:22, Reply)
Tesco couldn't deliver our shopping, yesterday, so I'm going to walk to the shops.
Probably freeze to death, like Captain Oates.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:32, Reply)
you'll probably end up drinking toilet water

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:36, Reply)
Thank fuck there's a shop across the street

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:55, Reply)
shame, I'm sure a nice layer of snow would help cover up some of the grimness

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:01, Reply)
It hides the dog turds nicely

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:23, Reply)
no snow in Poland either

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:02, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8136756
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:04, Reply)
alright bob geldof

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:12, Reply)
They've cleared the bus routes here,
Getting up to the yard was fun, stopped to help a wally in an mx5 get out of a ditch
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:17, Reply)
thanks again
and thanks for not judging me driving a woman's car
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:21, Reply)
I pissed in your boot while I was trying to find the towing eye.
You fucking bender
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:23, Reply)
please don't bully me

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:37, Reply)
ok ok I'm here now
I'd like to blame the traffic, but there was hardly anyone out there
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:36, Reply)
menstruating?

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:48, Reply)
I've always had a very heavy flow

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 9:55, Reply)
^Kool G Rap

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:05, Reply)
In my day children walked 5 miles in the snow and sleet for the privilege of an education.
All these school closures are part of the mounting evidence that the whole country has gone soft. I'll be going to the job centre as normal, so why can't teachers do it? Smh
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:14, Reply)
Every time it snows we get the 双ther countries cope, we just grind to a halt. Especially in the SE.
However 粗very time is a couple of times a year, more or less (I live in Milton Keynes and we haven稚 had bad snow like this for years). On that basis, only fairly rich people can afford two sets of tyres, let alone store them themselves or, worse, pay someone to do it. As for fleets of ploughs - I can understand councils not ponying up for that. For mass transport, trains and airports seem to be unwilling to invest to cope with such intermittency.

The chaos on the roads is mostly caused by stupid driving by people who致e clearly never driven in snow before. Tailgating in 1 foot of snow. Excessive speed, and being surprised when just a touch on the brakes means either you spin harmlessly till you run out of impetus or you hit something. And thank goodness hardly anyone has chains because I致e seen people with them who don稚 realise you can稚 drive at 70 with them on and don稚 take them off when they hit tarmac.

The snow will probably be gone inside 48 hours here and may not return all winter.

So people who get lots of snow deal with it better than people who rarely see it. Who壇 have thought?

Finally to the guy who has a 4-wheel drive car and was off-roading for fun at the side of dual carriageways yesterday- you池e an idiot. And probably don稚 read The Guardian!
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:18, Reply)
FFS!
Its rather pathetic when you consider the vast number of off road vehicles used by parents to convey their kids to school often just a few hundred metres across a housing estate. Just what is the excuse ?
There isn't one, its just lack of commitment, by the staff and the parents, aw!!!! lets have a day off and lay in bed !! during the cold snap in '63 we had two days off school because the boiler had frozen, but they soon got it fixed and inbetween times we had to dress up with more layers of clothes. Not the Mamby pamby attitude of today.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:22, Reply)
Alreet?
I've had a cracking weekend. Been go karting, off to Reds BBQ, a quick carvery visit yesterday and another pub visit.
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:26, Reply)
I was in, get this, a private membership kids' club in Saturday afternoon
Unfuckingbelievable

maggieandrose.com/chiswickclub/

They do have a bar though
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:36, Reply)
That is the most Kensington & Chelsea thing EVAR.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:44, Reply)
innit doe

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:47, Reply)
Christ alive l

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:48, Reply)
it's important that they learn at an early age not to mix with the plebs

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:03, Reply)
Alright Beefface.
Has Dozer been ordering misguided shoes?
(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:30, Reply)
I quite like 'em actually

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:34, Reply)
But you don't tell him that.

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 11:04, Reply)
It was either those or the white Samba Adv

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 10:39, Reply)
Just bought a pair of these, fuck you, nahmean?
www.freestylextreme.com/uk/home/brands/adidas/adidas-white-core-black-bluebird-leonaro-shoe.aspx?prodid=291715&lang=1&refine=c%7b3427%7d%3as%7bstandard_uk_12%7d&sort=1&catid=3427&p=2
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 22:20, Reply)
I'm finishing the weekend by getting mashed and watching Bill and Ted.
Its like Wayne's World but better!
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 22:44, Reply)
Bogus Journey is better than Excellent Adventure.

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 22:56, Reply)
go fuck yourself

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 13:44, Reply)
K

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 13:48, Reply)
I keep trying,
but I'm just not that flexible.
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 14:14, Reply)
not in this weather

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 14:28, Reply)
i don't need your validation

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 14:38, Reply)
Whiny emos got hold of the master tapes for The Wall, you won't believe what happened next

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 15:18, Reply)
All in all you're just, like, whatever

(, Mon 11 Dec 2017, 5:25, Reply)
I died in a horrible car accident.

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 14:59, Reply)
check out Amethyst Realm, she likes to fuck ghosts

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 15:08, Reply)
I actually didn't bother going to see the bike in the end.
Just driving to the yard was frustrating enough. People cannot drive in the snow.
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 15:31, Reply)
we don't have much here
and what we do have isn't sticking. i know what you mean about people driving in the snow, it's one of the few reasons i'm glad i can't drive.
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 15:54, Reply)
It's sheet ice here.
I was supposed to be renting a van and moving my stuff today. There's snow in Aberdeen, glad I decided I couldn't be arsed.
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 17:39, Reply)
Bit harsh

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 16:35, Reply)
Alright horbs.

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 17:19, Reply)
rip max clifford
gone too soon, may his legacy live on
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 12:36, Reply)
Good
he was a horrible cunt.
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 12:40, Reply)

👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 12:41, Reply)
Never seen this before
This article is experiencing high levels of activity because it is about a person who has recently died. The initial news reports, such as the circumstances of the person's death and surrounding events, may be unreliable, and the risk of misinformation is unusually high. The last updates to this article may not reflect the most current information.
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 12:43, Reply)
Ah, good stuff.
An entirely wasted life and a toxic cunt famous for all the wrong reasons.
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 12:52, Reply)
But that's enough about Jade Goody olololol.

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 12:55, Reply)
I don't think Jade Goody wasted her life
in that she was too pigshit-stupid to have done anything else with it. Clifford had plenty of flaws but he wasn't a total idiot.
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 13:06, Reply)
i'll always remember the time he stood behind a news broadcaster and mimicked him

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 13:05, Reply)
he should still be made to serve the rest of his sentence

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 14:27, Reply)
To quote a classic Viz letter,
"If Max Clifford is do good at PE, how come everyone thinks he's a cunt?"
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 17:20, Reply)
Good at PE.

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 17:48, Reply)
elations

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 17:51, Reply)
Oh motherfuck this phone.

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 18:29, Reply)
I'm wondering if there'll be a letter or email sent out labelled...
To be sent in the event of my death. The letter/email will contain every secret, every provable case of every dispicable act that was ever hushed up or spun, that all his high powered clients thought had died with him.
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 23:35, Reply)
Woo, mudkip
Having a fantastic morning marking about in the snow. Cinema and pizza later. U?
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 10:00, Reply)
Probably go up the spoons in a bit , need to find my boots

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 10:06, Reply)
I too got a mudkip , I liek

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 10:42, Reply)
no mudkips here :(

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 12:41, Reply)
Cyber bullying later.

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 10:32, Reply)
There's a family building snowmen in the park down the road.

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 10:42, Reply)
Might get a sleeping bag and go lay in a shop doorway

(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 11:08, Reply)
Pissing it down
Absolutely pissing it down
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 11:18, Reply)
This year's Christingle service was poorly attended, so I've just juiced a load of leftover oranges.
The dog ate the snowman's carrot nose.
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 11:28, Reply)
I bumped into a woman in my choir this morning, as they were on their way to Mass.
I didn't know they were religious types.
(, Sun 10 Dec 2017, 12:11, Reply)
so, my saturday night will involve babysitting and dealing with a very hungover niece
how has your saturday been fucked up?
(, Sat 9 Dec 2017, 16:37, Reply)
One of my kittens decided to stand on top of my head. I was standing at the time.

(, Sat 9 Dec 2017, 16:54, Reply)
you have a case of head cats
the van will be there shortly to collect you
(, Sat 9 Dec 2017, 17:09, Reply)
I've just bumped into my Resident Grumpy Old Git neighbour.
Lives at the end of the road, looks like an alcoholic trawlerman and spends his entire waking life complaining. He bitched and whinged at me about not tidying away my bins early enough (after he took delivery of a parcel for me and promptly fucked off for a fortnight, then complained I took too long to pick it up when he got back).
(, Sat 9 Dec 2017, 16:58, Reply)
euthanise him
it's a kindness, really
(, Sat 9 Dec 2017, 17:05, Reply)
He'd just complain I was using the wrong needle.
The look on his face when I just walked away after giving a fairly "Come and have a go" response to his nonsense was precious.
(, Sat 9 Dec 2017, 17:11, Reply)
It's going well
Lazy day after heavy drinking in london thursday/Friday. Tomorrow however is set to be a bit shit as I am going to cirencester in the bloody snow.
(, Sat 9 Dec 2017, 17:45, Reply)
I like snow

(, Sat 9 Dec 2017, 17:53, Reply)
I like snow.
I don't like driving in the snow as some wanker always manages to fuck it up and crash. Also, I'm looking at a motorbike for sale, hope the guy has a garage.
(, Sat 9 Dec 2017, 18:06, Reply)
A motorbike? In snow?
That could be a bad idea
(, Sat 9 Dec 2017, 18:13, Reply)
I'll bring it back in the van.
I'm not riding a bandit in the snow. If it was an adventure bike or crosser I would.
(, Sat 9 Dec 2017, 20:09, Reply)
Jaysumz is quite keen on riding a bandit.

(, Sat 9 Dec 2017, 20:39, Reply)
Fuck off mate

(, Sat 9 Dec 2017, 20:47, Reply)

Post a new message | View older messages | Popular | Search