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Who is on it for Mongys birthday?
I'm settling down for a smash up.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:50, Reply)
I'm fucking ruined mate, quiz at 9, oi oi

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:54, Reply)
Bit of shoe will help you concentrate and get a birthday win

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:20, Reply)
On it

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:34, Reply)
I've just got on it and am about to get further on it, so yeah.
*raises glass to Mongy*
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:59, Reply)
My mother fucking special day innit

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:02, Reply)
You're goddamned right.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:03, Reply)
Jesus gets loads, I only get one

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:10, Reply)
Yesyes

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:20, Reply)
I wish

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:07, Reply)
Get some fucking kush or a bit of hash at least. Come on, it's once a year.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:20, Reply)
Oh, alright

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:24, Reply)
huffing glue

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 19:24, Reply)
Where is TH with the Jenkem?

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:06, Reply)
he packed up the lab when he moved

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:21, Reply)
I'm thinking of expanding into krokodil

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:58, Reply)
i'll be putting my bins out
recycling too
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:06, Reply)
off the hook

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:42, Reply)
Thanks for the reminder
Thanks for the r m
inder
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 22:53, Reply)
mem
to mongy
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:35, Reply)
wine, pizza and cannabutter here
although this may have happened with or without mongy's birthday
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 20:41, Reply)
Beer, falafel and shawarma here.
About to hit the wine though
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 21:06, Reply)
Foooo9ooooooooooooooooooooooooooood , I think

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 21:25, Reply)
I always consume my drugs as foood these days

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 22:28, Reply)
DMT or GTFO.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 21:47, Reply)
Actually I'll take some 5-MeO-GTFO for preference, if you have any.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 21:48, Reply)
Wow. 15 hours?
What are you all doing today that's keeping you away from here?
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 11:43, Reply)
Smashing the tits off it
Just got up, gonna go for a burger and a few pints in a bit. Took kiddo to a talk by her favourite author yesterday so it's not been 100% sin.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 12:51, Reply)
Apart from a bit of weed I've been sin free all weekend
Boring as fuck.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 13:08, Reply)
*calls the fuzz*

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 13:15, Reply)
muffled conversation?

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 14:39, Reply)
Just come back from brunch innit.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 13:43, Reply)
never been keen on the idea of brunch
no idea why
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 14:19, Reply)
Brain + munch -> brunch
Perhaps yours will catch on.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 14:37, Reply)
don't know
but it is time to munch
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 14:40, Reply)
You might like this
www.goldenageofscifi.info/ebook/Who_Goes_There.pdf
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 15:08, Reply)
oooo, i'll have a look at that later, ta!

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 15:17, Reply)
Quite a few differences from the film but the telepathy thing is a decent explanation for how it can imitate a human's behaviour so convincingly

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 15:31, Reply)
yes, that's something they never really investigated in the film

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 15:39, Reply)
in that vein, Jaws is a good read, although slightly depressing

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 15:45, Reply)
And now
for someTHING completely different.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 16:19, Reply)
*interludes*

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 16:28, Reply)
Birthday eve innit

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 15:54, Reply)
mine's not till october :(
make sure you get utterly shitfaced. anything less is birthdaying wrong.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 16:04, Reply)
Been on it since Friday,

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:03, Reply)
good lad

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:07, Reply)
I just added a sub woofer to the telly bar wotsit!
I have some powered studio monitors that have been gathering dust, the sound-bar for the tv is excellent but a bit bass light. I bought a low-pass filter months ago and have only just gotten around to connecting a 12v supply and some wires to it and BLOW ME IF IT DOESN'T HALF WORK WELL!

There's some tasty low-end now that was really lacking before. That is a total result and although all I've done is strip some wires and connect them I feel a significant sense of achievement.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:02, Reply)
it's always nice when something unexpectedly goes well
the lady who lives above me seems to love bass as her telly has my ceiling vibrating most days
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:07, Reply)
Knock on the door holding a large bag of doritos and say
"I can hear the soundtrack so well seems a shame not to be watching it too..." and barge in.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:16, Reply)
i can't be mean, she's about 80 and puts up with me playing heavy metal on a sunday morning
i just wish she had fewer daughters with tiny, yappy dogs and annoying grandchildren
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:22, Reply)
Oh, well, if it's quid-pro-quo then you can't be to arsy
I had a neighbour who would bang on the door if I played loud music on a Saturday afternoon. Not that loud either. And above his kitchen, not his living room. He was on the spectrum, though.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:34, Reply)
sulking and making this
www.dropbox.com/s/kr6oi5lj68neea2/brb_-_toxic_identity.mp3?raw=1
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:33, Reply)
nice!
mate of mine used to do something similar, until he got bogged down by kids and suchlike
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:46, Reply)
chars brar

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:51, Reply)
SQEEELCHH! Yummy noises

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:57, Reply)
That's tasty, that is.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:57, Reply)
Going to rinse the henna out of my hair now.

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 17:48, Reply)
Bit drippy

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:34, Reply)
More like hardened mud-cake that melts and runs into your eyes on the way down.
I now look like I've been blayzing superskunk all afternoon but my hair is luverly.
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 18:42, Reply)
How much hair do you have?

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 22:18, Reply)
Halfway through the weekend
what have you done so far?
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 20:45, Reply)
I've got a bit stoned and made chocolate icing
I am now eating it.
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 20:55, Reply)
Sounds great

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:20, Reply)
Just logged on to see if everyone is ok after the earthquake

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:08, Reply)
I'm doing alright
My neighbor had to take my amazon parcels in after it presumably prevented the delivery driver from knocking on my door though.
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:21, Reply)
Breakfast. Dog walk. Horse care. Motorbike ride. Smash up.

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:10, Reply)
Everybody talk about, pop music

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 1:16, Reply)
500 piece Jigsaw

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:20, Reply)
what of?

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:22, Reply)

s4.b3ta.com/host/creative/23553/1426182712/5566593914112252665902.jpg
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:28, Reply)
so do you do the edges, or work your way outwards from the bumhole?

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:33, Reply)
I start where ever the fuck I want

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:36, Reply)
I'm not as jigsaw advanced as you

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:40, Reply)
I'm semi pro

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 23:37, Reply)
Dishes, laundry, hoovering, shopping, barbecue, workout, yer maw.

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:38, Reply)
My da more like.

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 21:46, Reply)
Aye him an aw.

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 22:24, Reply)
My da will fuck yer da

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 22:51, Reply)
Git tae fuck ye radge cunt.
My da rode yer da intae battle an yer da fuckin loved it.
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 22:57, Reply)
Thought and prayed a bit

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 0:22, Reply)
Been for a long walk and ended up in Zerodegrees in Blackheath
microbrewery - they do some very tasty beers!
(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 11:42, Reply)
Who are all these cunts

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 16:38, Reply)
mem

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 16:50, Reply)
Soros

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 16:56, Reply)
That was me m8

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 17:09, Reply)
Bit early for a Tory party conference innit?

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 17:15, Reply)
half term, innit?

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 17:23, Reply)
Dunno, but they've stolen your punctuation.

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 17:30, Reply)
Gawd I'm bolloxed, it's only half six , too old for this shit

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 18:26, Reply)
Just getting started here

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 18:37, Reply)
God speed, it's my birthday Weekender

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:04, Reply)
Glad to be on board

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:20, Reply)
Dunno why but as I was buying the shoe I got a 20 of weed, now everyone is saying I stink , lol

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:24, Reply)
I did the same but I'm hiding at home

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:27, Reply)
I might just go home and get bolloxed, I'm not really up for going out

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:42, Reply)
I can only do an all-dayer if I load up on carbs first

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 18:59, Reply)
I don't eat that would fuck me right up

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:08, Reply)
Plus, cheating

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:29, Reply)
No'n you'n.
You can't buy barbecue charcoal anywhere at this time of year. I had to use compressed wood heating briquettes instead. Load of old bollix so.
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:07, Reply)
Fucking hell

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 19:10, Reply)
bored cunts ?

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 20:38, Reply)
An earthquake
just happened in Bristol, UK.

We may hear about this in the news...
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 14:34, Reply)
Bristol is shit and full of cunts

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 14:36, Reply)
A lot like your house then?

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 14:37, Reply)
You know the bit in The Thing where MacReady has three people tied to chairs and he goes to stick a hot wire in the second petri dish?
Yeah, that.
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 14:48, Reply)
I hope
they have a good mop, that got messy.
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 14:58, Reply)
love that film

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 15:42, Reply)
I don't have a house, are you showing off because you live in bristol

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 15:01, Reply)
don't be silly, nobody shows off about living in bristol

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 15:43, Reply)
Ok

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 14:38, Reply)
Cor Bristols!

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 14:40, Reply)
Literally nobody but you cares

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 14:58, Reply)
false flag by Soros

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 15:12, Reply)
what's for lunch?
i'm hungry.
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 13:50, Reply)
Chicken or cheese omelette

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 14:13, Reply)
Vegan hot dogs

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 14:20, Reply)
Barbecued spare ribs with a sesame oil and sweet soya sauce glaze.

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 14:34, Reply)
perfumed ponce

(, Sun 18 Feb 2018, 16:40, Reply)
Revolution Shirt =)
So wow thats a neato what now right.

Response so far has been a little strange.

Now my shirt a guy on another forum made it.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:22, Reply)
mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem
mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem
mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem
mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem
mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem mem
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:23, Reply)
mem?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:23, Reply)
memmy!

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:24, Reply)
memeness

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 0:09, Reply)
^ the memness monster

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 6:27, Reply)
I grabbed a mem or two for lunch

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 9:23, Reply)
mem, myself and I

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 11:22, Reply)
Huh?

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 8:58, Reply)
Revolution Shirt =)
So wow thats a neato what now right.

Response so far has been a little strange.

Now my shirt a guy on another forum made it.
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 9:19, Reply)
mem

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 9:22, Reply)
Is this code?
The Hamster flies by moonlight
(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 10:45, Reply)
The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead

(, Sat 17 Feb 2018, 11:18, Reply)
a beery end to a shitty week
What are you toasting?
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 20:33, Reply)
Eerrr my birthday

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:00, Reply)
oh, you should have said
I'd have got you a card
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 22:58, Reply)

www.amazon.com/Death-Closer-Than-Ever-Birthday/dp/B016CC6RCO
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:03, Reply)
I logged back into b3ta to like this.
/ac
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:18, Reply)
Went to the Tower of London in London today
in London
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:01, Reply)
Wish I could've made the time to visit with my London-based forum chums, but time was against me

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:02, Reply)
Tower of London is full on mate, we understand, dunno if mcbeef has any historical issues with it

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:05, Reply)
I only had about 3 hours there
fucking coach tours. Four fucking hours to get to London. Mental.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:07, Reply)
Coach tour? Have you retired?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:30, Reply)
Did you stop at fleet services? It's nice , like a pine forest, and the kids must admit the queen's got srs bling

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:31, Reply)
well ok but it's no clacket lane now is it

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:06, Reply)
you can always cyber with them

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:57, Reply)
Mongys birthday

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:29, Reply)
It's only a fucking weekender oi oi

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:43, Reply)
Smash up

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:55, Reply)
My pal's got his first boxing match tomorrow, some posh hotel. Black tie do with food as well.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:56, Reply)
Nice, any action on it ?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:59, Reply)
Nah, tbh I only found out when he said we should meet for a pint but he was on the wagon until after.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 22:34, Reply)
Sleeping pills giving me a good night's sleep

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:36, Reply)
The falafel and Shawarma I'm about to get in.
Zannusi's Structure of Crystal is expiring on Mubi so I'm away to watch that, I reckon.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 21:45, Reply)
nothing
not even mem
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 22:19, Reply)
oh christ not more of this

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 22:55, Reply)
I don't understand mem, and there are even emoticons IN COLOUR further down the board

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 22:56, Reply)
nothing makes sense any more, I am a stranger here

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 22:56, Reply)
just hold on to me, vlad
you'll be ok
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 22:59, Reply)
#grrretoo

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:03, Reply)
grrrmachine, you're a sensible fellow, hot food is not a salad now is it, who thinks up this nonsense?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:12, Reply)
idiots who care a lot about food, I imagine

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:16, Reply)
you have a powerful imagination
who'd care about food
you should write
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:22, Reply)
:'(

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:00, Reply)
alright drimble

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:04, Reply)
$$

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:08, Reply)
*<8-DX

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:13, Reply)
America's next drag superstar.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 22:51, Reply)
I have a feeling this isn't about 1/4 mile racing

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 23:00, Reply)
so far so good

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:46, Reply)
well this should've been a reply to windy
stupid phone
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:47, Reply)
thump in the knickers

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:49, Reply)
at least buy me a drink first

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:52, Reply)
you'll get half a coke

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:54, Reply)
ok

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:56, Reply)
I'll have a whole packet ta

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:11, Reply)
Mmm, postmix syrup.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 17:14, Reply)
No coke, pepsi

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 17:34, Reply)

coke soap
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 18:25, Reply)

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:52, Reply)
bit late for that now

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:55, Reply)
can't complain

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:56, Reply)
I'm going to shoe it like it's never been shoed before, 2moz

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:07, Reply)
OI OI

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:10, Reply)
My new slippers have arrived, they're well cool
Just like me
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:05, Reply)
+m

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:10, Reply)
:)

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:19, Reply)
i have big dog slippers now.
much better than old man slippers and all the other slippers that just fall off.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:10, Reply)
look at these bad boys
www.eobuv.cz/media/catalog/product/cache/image/650x650//0/0/0000200038520_2___ek_.jpg
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:15, Reply)
Look like bivvy slippers

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:23, Reply)
comfy as fuck, and don't look bent: bingo

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:26, Reply)
I have indoors trainers for slippers , white cortez at the moment

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:47, Reply)
I'm still deciding on those red Nike gmts, I think I need to see them in the flesh, but the GMT bit is relevant to my interests

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:50, Reply)
I've seen those, you should get involved - they looks great

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 17:24, Reply)
Fuck it, it's my birthday

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 17:33, Reply)
precisely
lovely rusty red colour, won't be around for long either
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 17:43, Reply)
you could go disco dancing in a trendy nightclub wearing them
they're not proper slippers. they're like formal evening wear. i think you're too rich and posh, matem.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:25, Reply)
I really am.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:26, Reply)
you want something like this
www.amazon.co.uk/TGO-Plush-Dog-Slippers/dp/B01BIVYLK4
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:35, Reply)
I've got a North Face pair like that with down in them.
Can't wear them, they make my feet sweat and stink.

Strictly moccasins when I'm 'ere.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 20:30, Reply)
Alright, Tim Westwood

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 17:15, Reply)
Like two thirds of a mustaine

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 17:36, Reply)
mem

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 17:52, Reply)
Mem (also spelled Meem or Mim) is the thirteenth letter of the Semitic abjads,
including Phoenician Mm Phoenician mem.svg, Hebrew Mm מ, Aramaic Mem Mem.svg, Syriac Mm ܡܡ, and Arabic Mm م. Its value is [m].

The Phoenician letter gave rise to the Greek Mu (Μ), Etruscan M, Latin M, and Cyrillic М.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 17:56, Reply)
abjad led it off the road

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 18:57, Reply)
Instagram is much more interesting because it’s more visual and I relate more to photos than words

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 18:01, Reply)
And yet you never replied to my dick pic, sad

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 18:25, Reply)
It's on my to do list

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 18:30, Reply)
Too late, if you liked it you should have put a ring on it

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 18:34, Reply)
"... no, but it's started to turn black!"

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 18:52, Reply)
Alright Tangled. You should listen to the new Yazz Ahmed LP.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 19:09, Reply)
The only way is up

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 19:29, Reply)
I'm off. Have nice weekend.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:41, Reply)
thank you and you

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:42, Reply)
Thanks have nice weekend too.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:43, Reply)
Be lucky

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:59, Reply)
mem

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 16:06, Reply)
"Middle aged" Your score: 4/7
www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-43074614
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:27, Reply)
mem 4/7

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:29, Reply)
"Lemon Party" 2/7

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:33, Reply)
Same

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:33, Reply)
Too sad, rip Helmut Sinn

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:33, Reply)
have a pint in his honour

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:36, Reply)
I've two on go, I'll dedicate one to him

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:38, Reply)
Lovely write up here
watchesbysjx.com/2018/02/helmut-sinn-legendary-maker-of-pilots-watches-dies-at-102.html
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 14:16, Reply)
That's a fair old career eh

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:26, Reply)
5/7
nailed the music question
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:35, Reply)
6/7
utterly fucked it up on the last one and ruined EVERYTHING
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:36, Reply)
*kicks internet over and storms out*

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:36, Reply)
4/7, utter guesswork.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:40, Reply)
1.5/3.5

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:44, Reply)
I hate foreign bookmaker odds

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:55, Reply)
Might flounce about this

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 14:50, Reply)


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(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 14:00, Reply)


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██─█─█─▄─█─▄▄█─▄▄██─██████
███▀█▀████▄███▄████▄██████
██─────███████████████████
██▄───▄███████▀▀▀█─▀─█████
████▄███▀█─▄▀█─▀─██─██████
█─▄█─▄▀█─█─▀▄█▄█▄█████████
█─▄█─▄▀█▄█████████████████
█▄████████████████████████

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 14:03, Reply)


╬░♥╔╗─╔╦═══╦═══╦═══╦╗──╔╗♥░═╬
╬░♥║║─║║╔═╗║╔═╗║╔═╗║╚╗╔╝║♥░─╬
╬░♥║╚═╝║║─║║╚═╝║╚═╝╠╗╚╝╔╝♥░═╬
╬░♥║╔═╗║╚═╝║╔══╣╔══╝╚╗╔╝─♥░─╬
╬░♥║║─║║╔═╗║║──║║────║║──♥░═╬
╬░♥╚╝─╚╩╝─╚╩╝──╚╝────╚╝──♥░─╬
╬░♥╔═══╗───╔═╗─╔═╗───────♥░─╬
╬░♥║░══╬═╦═╬═╬═╝░╠═══╦═╦═╗░─╬
╬░♥║░╔═╣░╔═╣░║╔╗░║╔╗░╠══░║░─╬
╬░♥╚═╝░╚═╝░╚═╩═══╩═╩═╩═══╝░─╬

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 14:22, Reply)
"MMMMNEURRGH YOU ARE A GAY SPAZ AND YOU LOVE IT UP YOUR BUM-BUM FROM OTHER GAY SPAZZES" Your score: 3/7

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:14, Reply)
4/7
.##.....##.########.##.....##
.###...###.##.......###...###
.####.####.##.......####.####
.##.###.##.######...##.###.##
.##.....##.##.......##.....##
.##.....##.##.......##.....##
.##.....##.########.##.....##

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:14, Reply)
"Crap in the Bodleian" Your score 2/7

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:27, Reply)
I did one in Rad Cam instead

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 15:37, Reply)
Nepotism is a funny word isn't it?
It looks like it should be pronounced nepotism, but it's actually pronounced nepotism! What else is funny? You can say mem.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:24, Reply)
people falling over is pretty funny
what's this 'mem' thing then? i'm confused
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:30, Reply)
Iflybf

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:32, Reply)
weird how it was always £250
even though the value of that amount of money must have changed since the beginning
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:44, Reply)
mem

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:34, Reply)
oh NOW i get it

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:44, Reply)
Mods examine members

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:36, Reply)
and they do a thorough job too

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:44, Reply)

tho
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:47, Reply)
well whap it out then

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:44, Reply)


          ▄█▀█▀█▄
        ▄█▀  █  ▀█▄
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       █           █
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         █  ▄▀▄  █
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█▀                      ▀█
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█           ▄█▄          █
▀█         █▀ ▀█        █▀
 ▀█▄      █▀   ▀█     ▄█▀
   ▀█▄▄▄█▀      ▀█▄▄▄█▀

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:47, Reply)
looks like bits of it are flaking off
maybe see a doctor. not 2 can though, a real doctor
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:55, Reply)
that's actual size
it was the hand-drawn outline of his own cockle on screen and then uploaded
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:59, Reply)
that's straight! i'm beginning to suspect you're not a real pig at all!

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:57, Reply)
You're thinking of the tail

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:00, Reply)
shh! don't tell him that, i've almost exposed his secret!

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:02, Reply)
mem is a meme

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:44, Reply)
it's memetic?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:45, Reply)
no it's emetic

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:06, Reply)
m alt 0151

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:03, Reply)
50% of kay's act

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:15, Reply)
waffles

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:32, Reply)
They're waffly versatile

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:33, Reply)
Ooh you are waffle, but I like you

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:39, Reply)
apparently if you say badger a few times, then mushroom twice
it's fucking hilarious
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:33, Reply)
Maybe in 2004 grandad

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:41, Reply)
oh right so you're big expert on comedy now?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:47, Reply)
mem

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:51, Reply)
oh come on, it's a bit more nuanced that that
they also said 'snake'
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:46, Reply)
yeah, but that's understandable
cos the 'snake' bit was all about timing.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:50, Reply)
Have you seen those blokes who say rama, hare and krishna instead of badger mushroom and snake, proper mad that

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:19, Reply)
mem

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:36, Reply)
I feel like we should be doing more to help the european eel

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:45, Reply)
has someone glued it?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:47, Reply)
i did it

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:23, Reply)
now we're leaving the eu we're only looking after our own eels

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:14, Reply)
the thames flood barriers fucked them up big time

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:18, Reply)
Nah

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:05, Reply)
So do I, elver fishing should be banned

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:02, Reply)
is it true that eels can be caught with knitting wool?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:04, Reply)
What as bait? Wouldn't surprise me, they eat anything

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:08, Reply)
no, something to do with using the wool as fishing line
the theory is that the fibres will tangle somehow in the eel's mouth. it's been a while since i was told, but it's meant to be a really old method of catching them
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:12, Reply)
Eels don't let go anyway, so it wouldn't surprise me

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:18, Reply)
i probably won't be trying it
i don't like eel, or any oily fish.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:22, Reply)
I don't eat fish, but I didn't think eels were an oily fish, never had one tho

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:26, Reply)
not as oily as mackerel, but yeah, still oily

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:33, Reply)
funny name corner in the newsletter was always very funny because there was always a foreign person with a funny name like 'poo' or 'wang' but hardly ever 'mem'

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:47, Reply)

frinkiac.com/video/S11E06/jk3IgS8tK87sxeCViSUyVEeTUaw=.gif
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:49, Reply)
precisely

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:06, Reply)
Not even in my top 5 ice creams

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 11:48, Reply)
It's raining mem, how they lube ya it's raining mem.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:17, Reply)

😂😂😂😂😂😂
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:18, Reply)

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:44, Reply)
old people on icy pavements

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:18, Reply)

old people on icy pave nts m
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:38, Reply)
you're still being very silly

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:41, Reply)
just nabbed a cheeky Friday bargain
www.offspring.co.uk/view/product/offspring_catalog/5,21/2669012992110
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:23, Reply)
very cheeky

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:40, Reply)
I was looking at the GMT nikes earlier, might get the red ones

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:52, Reply)
those look like the perfect trainer
for the middle aged man who's given up on all his hopes and dreams.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:58, Reply)
Yeah I might get a pair

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:13, Reply)
Count me in

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:19, Reply)
I'm in the spoons, let the celebration begin , oi oi

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:23, Reply)
stay safe

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:31, Reply)
Nothing.
Comedy peaked with Two Pints of Lager, and nothing has been funny since.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 13:26, Reply)
MORNING

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 7:22, Reply)
yo

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 7:42, Reply)
Hi

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 7:55, Reply)
Happenings and drops all weekend, anybody know where I can get a rifle ?
onestarhotel.london
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 7:47, Reply)
can't miss the poster workshop with grace ahlbom
I'm there!
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 7:53, Reply)
tizzy t's mahjong workshop is the one for me

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:21, Reply)
i couldn't imagine how shit that would be
some cunt acting all pretentious over a game
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:25, Reply)
I hope this is him
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKqjZMA-F88
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:26, Reply)
It is, shame china is banning rap

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:31, Reply)
only one way to find out!

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:32, Reply)
that was my favourite jeff buckley ahlbom, he really jumped the shark after that.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:39, Reply)

EDIT CANGLZZZZZ!!!
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:59, Reply)
I'm really upset that my candles are overshadowing my brilliant joke about Jeff Buckley.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:03, Reply)
I'll bet!

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:08, Reply)
Candlemass

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:01, Reply)
Jesus

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 7:55, Reply)
If it wasn't the start of my birthday weekend I'd be all over it

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:28, Reply)
what day's yer actual birthday?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:49, Reply)
Monday, so I start today

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:51, Reply)
God be with you

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:52, Reply)
Monday will probably be quiet really, so I'll have to go for it this weekend, get right on the fucking shoe

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:57, Reply)
I'll be doing the same tomorrow, in your honour

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:07, Reply)
Your Honour

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:00, Reply)
So...what is this exactly?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:21, Reply)
I'm going to guess that it's a weekend-long promotional event for Converse shoes
Just a guess, though
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:51, Reply)
Correct footwear is very important when you're playing mahjong.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:52, Reply)
And Chinese New year, they've shoe horned that in , think there is new year sneakers dropping, BOOM

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:00, Reply)
Butterfingers.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:02, Reply)
I see Princess Nokia is performing tonight
just make sure you don't look at her
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:23, Reply)
I'd give her a 3310 if you nokia what I mean lol

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:27, Reply)
chee-keyyyy!!!!!

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:54, Reply)
It's a great one day is only saw it because it rhymes with jiggle

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 7:52, Reply)
Righto m8

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 7:55, Reply)
How are you?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:05, Reply)
Great ta
Really looking forward to the weekend

u?
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:17, Reply)
Feel fresh today.
Got nothing much planned for the weekend, but that's alright, just chill.
Also, I've knocked drink on the head Monday to Thursday unless I'm out for something and have saved a couple hundred quid. Might go on a record spree.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:26, Reply)
good idea
I keep utterly failing to impose a few days off the plonk each week, by the time I've slogged my way home, I can't resist opening a bottle of wine whilst I cook. I've no willpower at all, it seems.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:34, Reply)
Oh I'll take this as the rsvp to my party then, not attending, :(

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:40, Reply)
not a nice way to find out

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:47, Reply)
Be one cheeseburger too many now

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:59, Reply)
wasteful

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:16, Reply)
Not sure cheeseburgers are appropriate after the news in America.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:19, Reply)
Perhaps one unhealthy fo0odstuff should be banned after each shooting, a small price to pay to defuse the global obesity timebomb

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:45, Reply)
But fat people are easier to shoot - bigger target and slower moving
so gunmen (or should we call them BUNMEN) are doing us all a favour
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:01, Reply)
Stay about from my buns.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:06, Reply)
Are we led it off the cheesebuger

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:29, Reply)
Right off the cheeseburger.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:57, Reply)
Wise words

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 7:58, Reply)
I've fucked up.
We had to build a scaffold in the library to replace the guts in a big old glass fitting. Now it's LED and everyone is happy. Except I left a piece of the big glass shade off, so we might have to build it up again just to get it on.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:11, Reply)
lol gutted

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:13, Reply)
There was a pretty angry email.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:14, Reply)
sh+

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:18, Reply)
Can you just "accidentally" smash the glass?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:20, Reply)
bit far for me to travel tbh

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:22, Reply)
It would really help me out though

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:27, Reply)
Alright, I'll do it
but I'm smashing other shit up as well. Got to make the journey worth it.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:29, Reply)
have a crap in the Bodleian Library

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:35, Reply)
That's a must for any Oxford trip

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:36, Reply)
my dad would never forgive me if I didn't

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:39, Reply)
ok but you owe me one, right?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:31, Reply)
If you an $$ are both on it, we can probably do a bit of smash it up tour of colleges

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:37, Reply)
I'll whatsapp Arson Dave

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:40, Reply)
are you having a stroke?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:03, Reply)
Nah, just using the auto fill bit on my phone keyboard.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:12, Reply)
Is this The Times cryptic crossword?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:11, Reply)
You are.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:12, Reply)
I know I am but what are you
no, wait. What?
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:19, Reply)
This is why you do the quick crossword.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:27, Reply)

do stare, boggle eyed and uncomprehending at
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:47, Reply)
Strikey pr

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:47, Reply)
In support for teacher's writings, first pair of children removed and given time to get to puerile venue (4, 5)

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:55, Reply)
4 Across: Gegs (9 letters)

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:18, Reply)
Good morning sunshine

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:00, Reply)
hullo Garrold

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:18, Reply)
hello

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:02, Reply)
parp

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:19, Reply)
HOW DO.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:30, Reply)
EE OOP LAD

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:34, Reply)
Morning.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:43, Reply)
mem

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:45, Reply)
The nurse who did my annual checkup was super cute.
I'd have let her take my blood pressure, if you know what I mean.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:54, Reply)
nope, sorry

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:55, Reply)
She could slap her cuff on my arm.
Eh, eh, eh?
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:58, Reply)
Ooh, Matron!

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:59, Reply)
Good moaning, like they say in france!!!

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:51, Reply)
zut alors, m8

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:52, Reply)
Florida story now updated to include post massacre cheeseburger binge :(

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:53, Reply)
:*(

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:55, Reply)
I'll give you my cheeseburger when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 8:56, Reply)
what's the option for vegetarian mass murderers?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:27, Reply)
chips with ketchup

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:30, Reply)
I wanted mayonnaise

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:41, Reply)
With lettuce or without?

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:02, Reply)
praise be to Allah

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:18, Reply)

h +n
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:35, Reply)
no mahometans allowed, soz

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:38, Reply)
Liverpool fans have a new song to the tune of Dodgy/Good Enough about Mo Salah
If he's good enough for you, He's good enough me, If he scores another few then I'll be Muslim too.

Multicultural Britain my friends.
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:44, Reply)
That is shockingly shit

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:59, Reply)
Wonderful

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:00, Reply)
2nd verse
If he's good enough for you, He's good enough for me, If he's sitting in a Mosque, Then that's where I want to be.

lol
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:13, Reply)
Ha, I like it.
Sure beats throwing bananas at black fellas
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:17, Reply)
*does wobbly hand gesture*

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:19, Reply)
Yeah, mon.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:26, Reply)
All football fans should be gassed.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:03, Reply)

puts me in mind of b3tan briancloughspitchsideguffs
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:15, Reply)
including people who paint and collect warhammer models

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:23, Reply)
they are the very worst

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:40, Reply)

wor be
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:56, Reply)
Bonjour.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:22, Reply)
alright mersh

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:37, Reply)
Ney bad, pal.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:39, Reply)
The beef between Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall makes me sad
Did we learn nothing from the tragic deaths of Biggie and Tupac?
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:35, Reply)
it gave me a 'lazy lob-on', personally

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:37, Reply)
That is such a Samantha thing to say

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:44, Reply)
I KNOW!!!!!

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:55, Reply)
Everyone knows Kristin Davis was the only fit one anyway.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:48, Reply)

Kristin Steve
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:56, Reply)

Steve Craaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiig
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:57, Reply)
she'll always be Lassie to me

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:02, Reply)
nay cunt's leaving until ahh find oot what cunt glassed that wee Lassie.

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:14, Reply)
GOOD MORROW
Sun is shining and staff are perky.
Like my tits
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:41, Reply)
No, I'm afraid I don't

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:56, Reply)
*takes bra off*
How 'bout now?
(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:02, Reply)
cor, look at them whoppers

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:03, Reply)
as in 'they look like soggy burgers'

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:04, Reply)
With lettuce or without??

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:12, Reply)
with

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:21, Reply)
work

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 12:59, Reply)
*sprinkles poppy seeds*

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:30, Reply)
alright

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:44, Reply)
mem

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 9:56, Reply)
mem

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:31, Reply)
mem

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 10:40, Reply)
mem
Four hours in the same thread, come on boarder's, pull yer fingers out
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:36, Reply)
mem
lol soz lol
mem
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:38, Reply)
mem lol

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:52, Reply)
mel + kim = mem
perhaps yours will catch on
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 18:21, Reply)
alright "animator on a cruise ship"

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:40, Reply)
hi

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:53, Reply)
HAPPY B3ANNIVERSARY WOODKOVSKY!

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 22:46, Reply)
she is almost choking with laughter at this point
on the plus side, i'm going home soon and her dad will get this all night. his temper is much shorter than mine, i foresee a full meltdown.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:40, Reply)
mem

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:44, Reply)

ltdown m
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:53, Reply)
I'll certainly donate more
imgur.com/a/M4xIY
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:44, Reply)
Do you think all their clothes come from the lost property boxes
at their sex parties?
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:45, Reply)
Doing a lot of good work for charititties

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:45, Reply)
prefer their second hand book stores

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:54, Reply)
that's how b3ta rolls now, mem

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:47, Reply)
Mem.
It's the new he'.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:49, Reply)
oh great, brilliant, that's just fantastic isn't it, I never understood he' and now it's been replaced by mem, fuck everything :(

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 22:46, Reply)
I like my finger where it is, thanks

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 16:01, Reply)
New Oxfam slogan right here, folks

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 16:06, Reply)
Hi

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 16:01, Reply)
hiya

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 16:13, Reply)
Winders

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 16:21, Reply)
feeling better m8?

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 16:23, Reply)
actually i've not tried with my fingers in, that might shave a few minutes off.
tried with someone licking my nuts, that helped a bit. not much though.

mem.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 16:42, Reply)
Dry roasted or plain?

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 16:44, Reply)
balti
btw anyone know where i can watch pro kabaddi for free?
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 16:48, Reply)
India

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 17:19, Reply)
was it a great dane

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 22:47, Reply)
i ain't no mod

(, Fri 16 Feb 2018, 0:48, Reply)
fuck this noise
I'm out
Bochum Welt
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 16:43, Reply)
OK, but I'm holding you responsible if someone's deadly bum cancer gets missed.

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 17:06, Reply)
I can live with that

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 17:19, Reply)
are there non-lethal forms of bum cancer?

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 17:27, Reply)
Fat bloke downstairs had arse cancer and he's still alive

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 17:31, Reply)
If they remove your bum early enough, but you'll never sit down again, is that really living

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 17:36, Reply)
that's not the sort of thing I'll take lying down

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 17:50, Reply)
Dunno, I guess most people who get bum cancer opt to have it taken out rather than waiting to see if it kills them or not.

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 18:13, Reply)
Fannies

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 17:23, Reply)
no sign of that solid I take it

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 17:47, Reply)
Nah, I saw two eyed earlier and he thinks the lad maybe on holiday, I'm out with stella Jim Saturday and he knows more, see if I can sort it then, got to do saink soon as I want a couple

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 18:07, Reply)
Fingers crossed

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 21:23, Reply)
King prawns were 20% off at the supermarket tonight, so I treated myself.
FooOOOoOOOooooOOOoood.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 20:18, Reply)
I identify as a queen prawn, could u keep your patriarchal support of the prawn monarchy off this forum, thx

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 21:00, Reply)
Sorry, which prawnouns do you prefer?

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 21:06, Reply)
I believe he's got more prawn than brains

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 21:14, Reply)
Why doncha giveidaress

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 21:20, Reply)
Thanks for voting for message 8151879!
Close Window
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 21:19, Reply)
alright? how's today going for you
I'm off down Peckham tonight for a really fancy dinner in this place:


https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g186338-d11797003-Reviews-London_England.html
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 11:28, Reply)
Or you could go here
artusi.co.uk/
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 11:30, Reply)
Or here and look down on the view
frankscafe.org.uk/
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 11:30, Reply)

I've not tried this place yet
www.blackbirdbakerylondon.co.uk/peckham/
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 11:31, Reply)
Wanky wanky wank wank

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:12, Reply)
Wank
to the power of wank
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:21, Reply)
I told a nurse about my wanking problems and she told me to take my pills in the morning instead of the evening
it's only been a few days but no change yet. Still taking me forever and I really need to concentrate.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:25, Reply)
Maybe try wanking fewer

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:56, Reply)
Are we wank it off the road

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:59, Reply)
can you tell the nurse everything else as well, instead of posting here

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:06, Reply)
*raises handbag to nose*

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:10, Reply)
checking if someone has shit in it?

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:24, Reply)
Remind me not to go and see YOUR drag act...

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:27, Reply)
don't go and see my drag act

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 16:34, Reply)
no, soz. social care cutbacks and all that.

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 16:40, Reply)
dunno what you're complaining about
it'd be nice to put on an album, open a bottle and enjoy a nice long wank, rather than a 2.5minute race to beat the Brazzers preview timer. You know, make an evening of it.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:14, Reply)
it would be nice to have that as one of many options. i'd still like to be able to knock one out in a few minutes too.

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 16:39, Reply)
Do you live on the same road as that place?
I bet you do lol
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 11:32, Reply)
I wish
no, but I live not far from their other restaurant, and it's a blinder:

www.standard.co.uk/go/london/restaurants/grace-dent-reviews-marcella-i-officially-declare-deptford-fashionable-a3682806.html

Edit: just saw the address - very good!
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 11:36, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:57, Reply)
nice
is there a corkage fee?
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 11:32, Reply)
If you're still alive after 20min you get a free pudding

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 11:33, Reply)
puddi! puddi! puddi!

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 11:35, Reply)
Put a bit of cladding on it and it'll be gentrified, no more poverty or knife crime, poor education, lower life expectancy, all disappears

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 11:40, Reply)
piece of piss

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:15, Reply)
They might as well scrap this, there's a hipster restaurant there now, so the last part of their mission statement is moot
www.deptfordchallengetrust.org.uk/about-us/the-dct-area.aspx
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:19, Reply)
Okay fine. You are right
I'm wrong. Happy?
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:27, Reply)
I'm never happy, although review one of the delightful white horse is harsh for such a nice area
www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g186338-d4967449-Reviews-The_White_Horse-London_England.html
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:29, Reply)
No, seriously, you're right.
I was going by the house prices and the changes in the area. This is the Index of Deprivation report from 2015:
There have been large decreases in a number of London Boroughs in the proportions of their neighborhoods that are highly deprived. In Hackney and Newham in particular, there are reductions of 24%: from 42% cent of neighborhoods in Hackney being highly deprived on the Index of Multiple Deprivation 2010 to 17% following this update, and from 31% of neighborhoods being highly deprived in Newham on the 2010 Index to 8%.

But they are still highly deprived. You're right.

It just feel like the cleansing has worked. I've lived in SE London for over 20 years and it has changed. There are no cheap places any more, I can't understand how people live here if they're poor and they are in a minority in the places they just about hang on.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:40, Reply)
I don't think they are in the minority, it maybe that you just don't hang around in the most deprived areas , and I can't blame you, but it's there, always has been, it's why people are getting killed for a sodding watch

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:49, Reply)
Yea, but no, I do actually go through some of the roughest parts
When I moved to London you didn't go to Deptford. Now I go running around the tower blocks. It's the same in Pekcham, I cut through the estates, and the worst ones have been demolished. There are luxury tower blocks popping up in New Cross, Woolwich, Charlton, and even renting an ex-council flat costs a bomb.

I know people who live on council estates and most estates are now private rent - Thamesmead, Thamesmead was terrifying, now it's expensive! If even Thamesmead and Catford are out of the range of people on a low wage, then I just think it's game over.

If you're on benefits you can't live here. If you're on minimum wage you cant live here. I do know of some of cases of houses being sub let and split into rooms, maybe that's more rife in Tower Hamlets?

I don't really know East London that much.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:03, Reply)
I've just looked and you can get a 2 bed flat SE18 for 1000 a month, DSS would pay that , and if you want to move outside the 205 thamesmead still has rents way under that 600 for a studio
One of the main reasons private landlords won't take DSS anymore is the rent goes to the tennant direct and they have to hand over the 1k to the landlord, would you take that risk
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:08, Reply)
I feel conflicted
because on the one hand an entire class is in the process of being shifted away from within the south and north circulars. Families are having to move further away, people are having to travel further for jobs.

On the other hand it's a fuck sight nicer.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:19, Reply)
Kent councils are getting mega money to move in social housing from london boroughs, only trouble is the people of Kent have nowhere to live

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:28, Reply)
aint that the truth
even Thanets in the commuter belt, houses prices are up 10% year on year, and places like Deal are ghost towns cos City cunts bought all the townhouses for holiday homes and don't even rent the fuckers out.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:34, Reply)
They are building loads of new homes on the old army land round the Medway, and north londoners are being shipped into them, how KCC are getting away with this is criminal

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:37, Reply)
My other half has to drive to work in Maidstone every day (don't even fucking joke about it...)
and the drive has become a nightmare because of all the estate-building work without any change in roads.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:40, Reply)
There's more to come , snodland has another project on the way

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:57, Reply)
How can anywhere seriously be called Snodland?
I mean, FFS. It sounds like someone with a badly broken nose saying Scotland.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:20, Reply)
It's a shithole, but they've built holborough lakes development now round the old gravel pits , no new roads or infrastructure tho

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:24, Reply)
My Mum and sister live near Maidstone.
The traffic is terrible. If this Brexit nonsense doesn't end with us in the customs union then the M20 will need parking lanes and the truck drivers will be kipping in laybys after they have had to sit in traffic for hours.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:44, Reply)
There are plans to build a massive lorry park to solve operation stack and lorries having to rest, great response to the problem

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:49, Reply)
Isn't that happening across the board?
I thought there were people ending up in Birmingham from London.

It really is shit. Even if you lived on the most awful London estate (I used to deliver milk to the Heygate in Elephant & Castle back in the early 90s, I know depressing estates...) you could still grow up around people with jobs, with access to opportunities - there was a chance. Move a family up to some sink estate in the Midlands and that's it. No hope at all.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:37, Reply)
You can only move people without jobs.

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:40, Reply)
But to places without any work or opportunities?
I mean, it's just making a problem worse. Not for me - my neighbourhood is lovely, thank you - but those families are being left to rot.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:42, Reply)
Fuck 'em.
Should have done better at school.

I'd put them in fucking ghettos.

There is actually no helping some people. What are you playing at if you've been unemployed for 3 years or more?
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:49, Reply)
I must admit
that it has led to amazing cladding in the neighbourhood. You're right. Have my vote.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:54, Reply)
tbh I completely agree with you.
Nowhere near enough is being done to help people who don't start well in life. Too much vested interest politics, housing being a case in point.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:58, Reply)
Vote jezza in, he'll sort everything out

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:01, Reply)
It's as nothing has changed since former dame Shirley Porters time

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:03, Reply)
I'd gerry her mander.

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:22, Reply)
Take that, Operation Trident.

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:29, Reply)
A nuclear strike would make the problems go away.

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:08, Reply)
Jesus

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 11:55, Reply)
hey, come on now

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 11:59, Reply)
a food thread that's also a passive-aggressive bullying thread?
we've achieved Peak Richard.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:03, Reply)
Can someone please flounce?

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:09, Reply)
IM LEAVIN 5EVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:14, Reply)
I'm worried if I keep posting here I'll get gentrified eventually

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:39, Reply)
And cladded

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:37, Reply)
Don't ruin my facade

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:06, Reply)
Someone will pebble-dash your hopes

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:07, Reply)
he'll start serving up all his posts on dustbin lids instead of plates

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:11, Reply)
I was a dab hand with the old dashing , shame nobody wants it done anymore

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:18, Reply)
New York - Paris - Peckham
The only place in town where you bring your own skewers for the shish kebabs.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:17, Reply)
You want to check out The Venue near me
thevenuelondon.com/

It accounts for most of the violent crime in our neighborhood.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:41, Reply)
Yeah, you're alright, thanks.
I still remember the red brick-clad chav fortress that was The Embassy in Redhill and when I got bottled in there. The décor of The Venue just screams polyester shirts, cheap aftershave and being shanked in a corner conveniently hidden from the security cameras.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:47, Reply)
My partner always jokes that they frisk you on the way in
and if you've not got a knife, they offer you one from a selection.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:21, Reply)
I've heard a similar joke about a bouncer at a Gorbals nightclub.
"Have ye's got any weapons on ye's, lads? Would ye's like some?"
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:27, Reply)
20 quid to get into thunderdome after 10, rip off

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:41, Reply)
MEDIOCRE

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:04, Reply)
New cross has always been a shithole, it's improved in appearance since the tower blocks came down, but the social housing is still there

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 12:55, Reply)
This project is entering phase 2
www.bptw.co.uk/architecture/projects/bond-house-new-cross.html

And it's one of many.

There is less and less social housing, the waiting list for a council property is now 17+ years.

The benefits cap has just totally changed the composition, that and the Ginger Line. The Bakerloo extension is going to be another nail in the coffin of anyone who didn't buy their place years ago or isn't, basically, a fucking banker.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:12, Reply)
There are about 150,000 banking jobs in a City of 8 million.
You'll be blaming the Russians for housing costs next. What about IT helmets?
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:39, Reply)
Soz, finance-related job
you can see how the housing stock in Lewisham changed with the DLR taking people up to Canary Wharf in a straight line. The roundabout has gone! The Citibank tower is gone! It's all LUXURY apartments, I mean, it's amazing, but you can see the thousands of people all getting on the DLR at Lewisham and getting of at Canary Wharf of a morning. It's the sector that's growing and pays people enough to buy the apartments being built.

I'm not blaming, but this is how the city is going.

Edit: I don't have a solution. I'm not even sure I'm blaming anyone for the changes, but I think there is a problem.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:45, Reply)
Good.
I've got a house in Lewisham that I rent out to some forrins'.
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:47, Reply)
Pay the b3ta charge then you tight-arse!

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:49, Reply)
That's WHY I have a house in Lewisham.

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:50, Reply)
You have a smart answer for EVERYTHING!

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:50, Reply)
That's WHY I have a house in Lewisham.

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:52, Reply)
Shame he doesn't have any smart black trousers

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 13:59, Reply)
does grey count?

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:45, Reply)
hahahaha

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:12, Reply)
got an annoying ten year old here
who thinks interrupting me every 2 minutes to say "mem" is funny
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:13, Reply)
Kidnapping enterprise not going well then?

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:15, Reply)
no, they didn't want her

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:23, Reply)
mem

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:08, Reply)
mem is?

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:43, Reply)
Puff, etc

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:43, Reply)
nothing, it's just a word that amuses her

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:58, Reply)
mem

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:03, Reply)
you're all being very silly

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:08, Reply)
mem

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:00, Reply)
I'm going here
metro.co.uk/2018/02/13/pub-owner-refuses-remove-golliwog-dolls-despite-complaints-7308764/
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:32, Reply)

m.imgur.com/r/gifs/jJee2w7
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:37, Reply)
never seen that clip before, 'different times' eh

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:40, Reply)
Yeah, mice can't black up now

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:41, Reply)
PC gone mad

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:50, Reply)
probably a virus or malware

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:51, Reply)
Rare backstage footage of Iggy Azalea, wow.

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:49, Reply)
I like her free form rap where she just makes up words with no meaning, real utter nonsense

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:57, Reply)
hang on, what?

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:04, Reply)
Other examples are available
youtu.be/cFPUqXrztS8
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:11, Reply)
mental

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:13, Reply)
She is fucking useless

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:15, Reply)
mem

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:29, Reply)
mem o mem

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:31, Reply)
I love whoever subtitled that
for saving me from having to listen to it.

So, is she on a constant diet of massive drugs or just a complete nutter?
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:20, Reply)
I think she is just really shit

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:23, Reply)
I also think this

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:33, Reply)
Like a modern day Lewis Carroll

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:22, Reply)
It's the loony left again
noel edmonds warned us about this
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:39, Reply)
He's going the full David Ike isn't he?

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:41, Reply)
he's a strange guy that's for sure

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:41, Reply)
Ignore Edmonds at your peril

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:41, Reply)
certainly wouldn't ride in a helicopter with him

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:46, Reply)
Or let him treat me to a bungy jump

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:50, Reply)
I blame the parents
www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/my-dead-parents-are-melon-sized-orbs-new-age-noel-edmonds-bizarre-on-air-rant-6924711.html
(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 14:54, Reply)
bottom get

(, Thu 15 Feb 2018, 15:33, Reply)

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