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Stingraaaaaaaaaaaay! Stingray!
Mariiiiiiiiiiina, Aquamariiiiiiiiiiiiiina....

Who's still up?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 22:10, Reply)
Me
Have you been at the cooking sherry?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 22:16, Reply)
Have you been having a life-affirming and fulfilling week?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 22:17, Reply)

ee an
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 22:20, Reply)
It's been fucking horrendous

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 23:16, Reply)
If you can give me a 100-word summary, I'll buy you a pint.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 23:19, Reply)
what are you blithering about you spittle-flecked flailing spastic

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 22:26, Reply)
Seldom has one as ill-versed in classic puppetry claimed a seat at this table.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 22:28, Reply)
still that same fucking thread? Jesus christ m8s
pull yer fuckin' fingers out!
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 19:24, Reply)
K, pulled it out.
Out of YOUR NAN that is!!
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 19:30, Reply)
Start a new one

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 19:32, Reply)
no u m8

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 20:58, Reply)
Quick, turn all your life savings into cotton buds, this time next year we'll be millionaires

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 20:22, Reply)
If my finger was in, I'd know it.
My nails are like talons.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 20:55, Reply)

Sinister.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 21:09, Reply)
Well look at that, it's quarter to two

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:45, Reply)
wipe your mouth

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:47, Reply)
I wiped it before I left the house

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:48, Reply)
I'm behind you

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:56, Reply)

imgur.com/gallery/rRhyPXB
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 17:14, Reply)
just don't read the comments
they are...unpleasant
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 17:15, Reply)
"should have been a gif"
Those monsters! Bet they pronounce it "gif".
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 17:21, Reply)
"two in the pinkerbell, one in the stinkerbell"

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 18:50, Reply)
^

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 19:04, Reply)
Of course they've all seen a stinkerbell by the time I've finished with them.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 19:06, Reply)
disgusting

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 17:48, Reply)
I've got too much to do and not enough motivation

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:52, Reply)
likewise

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:53, Reply)
Just ordered 240 loratadine tablets.
Think I've built up a tolerance to cetirizine over the last 18 months.

Cheaper than a pair of ill-fitting shoes, anyway.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:53, Reply)
yes, I suppose

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:55, Reply)
420
more like
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:49, Reply)
I once took 2 cetirizine tablets in one day, by mistake.
I was high as a kite, I can tell you!

I fell asleep.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:32, Reply)
i love sleep

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:37, Reply)
it's great!

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:41, Reply)
+ Wayne

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:55, Reply)
jesus

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:58, Reply)
I'm sure he loves jesus, too.
I mean, who wouldn't?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 16:09, Reply)
windowcleaners
can you imagine trying to clean the windows and that cunt keeps turning your water into wine?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 16:27, Reply)
Glasscock,
but I do love these.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 16:41, Reply)
they are seriously funny

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 16:48, Reply)
I concur

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 18:15, Reply)
Jews

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 16:28, Reply)
the romans, m8
the fucken romans
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 16:39, Reply)
They loved jesus so much, they put him on display for all to see.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 16:43, Reply)
+s

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:53, Reply)
oh god, that's reminded me of the squirt pillow video from yonks ago :((((

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:53, Reply)
?
edit - just googled "squirt pillow" and I HAVE NOT clicked on any of the links. No way.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:54, Reply)
Grrry's Home Videos.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:55, Reply)
it's some inbred redneck chatting on skype or something about the odd stains on her pillow
it's up there with lemonparty in the internet trauma stakes.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:57, Reply)
No way

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:02, Reply)
+no way, ma na ma na

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:16, Reply)
LOL
www.portsmouth.co.uk/business/mum-s-disgust-after-girl-seven-is-sold-penis-shaped-sweets-at-portsmouth-shop-1-8466243
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:12, Reply)
A buggy for a 7 year old?
Or was the nan just really small?

The idea that the 12 year old didn't know what she was doing is genuinely "lol" though.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:15, Reply)
To be fair to her
that shop's pretty bad. All the adult stuff is on low shelves, right in a child's eyeline. It's not very well planned. We went in there once. Just the once.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:21, Reply)
didn't really fancy explaining to my kids why there was a mug with "cunt" printed on it

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:23, Reply)
A shop for cunts, run by cunts.
Sounds well "lol".
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:25, Reply)
do you want me to do it?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:27, Reply)
if you wouldn't mind

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:30, Reply)
because your wife wrote on your face with a marker while you slept?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:32, Reply)
or was it one of the hilarious ones where it says 'unt'
but get this, the handle is the C!
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:32, Reply)
yeah, I think it was one of those

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:51, Reply)
OMG! That's so clever!
Way more highbrow than I was expecting.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:33, Reply)
I'm surprised they haven't got one for you yet

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:33, Reply)
his kids are way more cerebral than that
they're poisoning his mind slowly
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:39, Reply)
it's beginning to show in his posts now

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:41, Reply)
"World's #3 Best Dad"

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:52, Reply)
exactly

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:55, Reply)
it's comments like this that have made brb turn on you

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:50, Reply)
And yet the mods do nothing

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:56, Reply)
the mods barely notice you
apart from when they are drawing pictures of you
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:58, Reply)
Why am I always nude in them tho?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:59, Reply)
clothes are hard to draw

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:06, Reply)
did brb really draw a picture?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:16, Reply)
and they say smoking weed affects your short term memory
you even commented on this: b3ta.com/talk/8159665
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:26, Reply)
oh, i thought he'd done it again

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:28, Reply)
got some girl scout cookies at the moment

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:29, Reply)
I'm too lazy to cook once I've made the butter
I just eat a knob of it
lol knob
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:49, Reply)
i don't even bother making the butter (girl scout cookies is a strain of weed, in case you didn't know)
i'd like to try making edibles but my kitchen's pretty tiny and i'm very lazy so i haven't really bothered

friend of mine is taking the afternoon off to make a three course weed meal tomorrow as it's 4/20
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 16:00, Reply)
I'm not up on all the latest slang
cooking lacks the convenience of smoking, but it is a different high.

a three course meal is just silly
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 16:07, Reply)
i make cakes occasionally
not as often as i used to, because you just can't get rocky round here any more. i used to grate it and sprinkle a couple of tablespoonsful into chocolate fairy cake mix
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 16:53, Reply)
gotta blaze it to praise it

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 17:00, Reply)
he used to be such an easy-going, fun-loving type

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:56, Reply)
I still am :(

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 14:59, Reply)
and when did you last do a cheery tomato?
You've been running on borrowed time ever since.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:00, Reply)
I don't own a pc to carry out such techno wizardry

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:02, Reply)
tomato? has-BEAN, more like

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:09, Reply)
fuck up a turtle, it's 3 o'clock

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 15:00, Reply)
Look at what?
Oh ... that.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 17:44, Reply)
Might delete this

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 18:06, Reply)

www.imdb.com/list/ls008022512/?ref_=nm_rls_5
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 18:26, Reply)
Brilliant
I'd love to know who he DOES find funny.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 19:07, Reply)
Gina Yashere, OBVIOUSLY.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 19:09, Reply)
I hope someone starts a new thread soon
what do you hope for?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 11:54, Reply)
not sure

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 11:56, Reply)
here, look at this little prick
i.imgur.com/z1wJgZE.jpg
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 11:57, Reply)
MODS!!! 1111!!!!

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 11:59, Reply)
one morning last February a frog leapt into my house as I was getting the milk in off the step
I may have let out a small involuntary squeal
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:10, Reply)
^ deffo not bent

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:11, Reply)
squatters rights
the house is now technically his
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:14, Reply)
I checked with the local council and apparently under the Countryside and Rights of Way Act 2000 his ancient migration routes are protected so I had to install a frog flap on both the front door and back door

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:19, Reply)
pervert

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:20, Reply)
^knows way too much about frog flaps

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:21, Reply)
"I heard the previous occupant croaked"

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:41, Reply)
I guess you have to toad the line or else

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:04, Reply)
no flies on you m8

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:13, Reply)
We're not spawning a pun thread are we?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:14, Reply)
wart do you think?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:19, Reply)
I hop it's over

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:54, Reply)
poor Gladys :(

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:11, Reply)

u bent
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:18, Reply)
no m8

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:28, Reply)
bof

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 11:56, Reply)
banned on facebook

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 11:57, Reply)
Sorry, I was in a meeting
with some hip new IT startup. Young blokes in tartan shirts talking about block chains.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:04, Reply)
any of them study the blade?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:07, Reply)
I just walked past a teen fatty in a fedora, long sleeve black top and combat trousers
It's 23 degrees outside; he must have been at LEAST a lvl 8 atheist.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:41, Reply)
Cup of coffee and a sandwich.
Luckily, this conference facility has delivered.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:05, Reply)
An incident free bowel movement

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:15, Reply)
I got my wish, and now I regret it
it was incident free, but mostly gas and I am disappoint.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:47, Reply)
Fart bowl acoustics

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:55, Reply)
I have a bit of indigestion and have to nip to the dunny to do simultaneous burps and farts
if I worked on a space station I'd be able to make myself rotate
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:05, Reply)
I hope the overtime finishes early so I can go out and enjoy the sun.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:18, Reply)
just go
I'll cover for you
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:20, Reply)
Cool.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:29, Reply)
death
or some info on the new smash bros game
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:22, Reply)
One must say Yes to life and embrace it wherever it is found—and it is found in terrible places; nevertheless, there it is.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:24, Reply)
I was going to say something similar
but with Red Dead Redemption 2
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:28, Reply)
oh yeah, and that

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:31, Reply)
It's been announced as an Easter Egg in Half Life 3.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:28, Reply)
Heat death of the universe

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:42, Reply)
^ supercharged flaming puke storming every cell, molecule and atom I can find

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:56, Reply)
my new shoes came and they're too tight
internet shopping is rubbish :(
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:43, Reply)
lol gutted

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:44, Reply)
I really am, they are lovely apart from the whole not fitting thing

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:47, Reply)
Keep them on the mantlepiece, they can be a nice conversation piece

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:49, Reply)
I was thinking more of exchanging them for a larger size

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:57, Reply)
nah, end it

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:03, Reply)
ok

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:13, Reply)
I see no other option but murder suicide

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:56, Reply)
got any tips on how to maximise the number of casualties?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:13, Reply)
Only ballet dancers have the answer

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:45, Reply)
these low-fat smarties are really disappointing :(

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:20, Reply)
Nice trips m8n

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:46, Reply)
let him who hath understanding

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 12:49, Reply)
The best , but I'm sure within the hour something really shit will turn up

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 13:21, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 7:37, Reply)
Morning
Wonder how Winton died
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 7:43, Reply)
i bet /board will be awash with Teh bAd AiDs jokes

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 7:46, Reply)
most of them could do with awash

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:58, Reply)
Doesn't matter he is in hell now , unless he repented his bent ways on his death bed

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 7:53, Reply)
I'm quite glad it was him
because if it was Matthew "deffo not bent" Kelly I'd have been properly spooked.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 7:56, Reply)
the old Pascal's wager

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:05, Reply)
He didn't come out until his 40s yet no-one was surprised because he'd had Gay Voice Syndrome for most of his life

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 7:57, Reply)
probably bummed himself to death

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:09, Reply)
You clearly have a lot of experience of filling in death certificates

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:01, Reply)

death certificates crevices
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:14, Reply)
1a) bummed himself to death
1b) chronic bentness
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 10:19, Reply)
I prefer 1c) - a cute bentness

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 10:28, Reply)
IBYDYDOB

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 10:52, Reply)
murder-suicide pact with bruno sammartino

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:33, Reply)
that would be unexpected

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:44, Reply)
i hear they were mates from way back

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:55, Reply)
Hai!

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 7:57, Reply)
does that come with a karate chop?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:00, Reply)
ya

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:28, Reply)

Oh, yah
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:42, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:06, Reply)
alright dollars

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:25, Reply)
Hullo
Off to Lancashire 2day
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:08, Reply)
That's well up north, fuck that

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:10, Reply)
Yeah not best pleased

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:31, Reply)
see you in burnley m8

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:13, Reply)
Wigan casino pilgrimage '18

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:31, Reply)
fuck yeah
pirouetting all night
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:32, Reply)
my surname comes from a village in Lancashire
although I've heard yours comes from County Durham
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:14, Reply)
Cunty Durr Ham, more like.
Morning.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:34, Reply)
morning m-m

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:11, Reply)
Alright, Brad Roberts

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:17, Reply)
yes, hello
how can i help?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:37, Reply)
oh hello, is that Bentagram? I need to order a performing bender for someone's birthday

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:39, Reply)
Very Julian & Sandy
www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0drcxvNLzU
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:03, Reply)
sorry, the only one we had on the books was winton

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:10, Reply)
hang on, Matthew Kelly? No, he's not gay because it didn't reach the back of his throat
*checks the rules*

yes, that's right.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:20, Reply)
Somebody fly tipped some pretty nice looking garden chairs down our alley way
Gonna clean them, sand them, paint them. In that order, I reckon.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:46, Reply)
Also, got some charity shop people coming for the furniture today
If they don't want this fucking wardrobe, I'm going to smash it to bits. I'm sick of the fucking thing.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:47, Reply)
shit in it

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:50, Reply)
I thought /talk had sorted that whole thing out for you
with many helpful advices
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:50, Reply)
All good ideas
but I'm trying the charity shop angle one more time. I've considered putting it in the front yard and telling the council someone fly tipped it.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:54, Reply)
Leave it out front with a "do not touch" sign taped to the front.
Should be gone in a couple of hours.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:57, Reply)
They took the wardrobe! Woohoo!
And two chests of drawers. Score.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:45, Reply)
FINALLY
were they supposed to take the chests of drawers or did they just rob you?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:52, Reply)
There was two of them
I didn't feel like I could say no
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:53, Reply)
but yes, well pleased
means I can set up my guitar stuff now
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:53, Reply)

media.giphy.com/media/ahqXZjdmep0Zy/giphy.gif
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:57, Reply)
that link was purple
interesting
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:59, Reply)

that link my helmit
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 10:15, Reply)
oh COME ON

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 10:46, Reply)
spunk on them

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:53, Reply)
Before or after painting?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:54, Reply)
during

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:58, Reply)
paint them with spunk

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:12, Reply)

www.duluxdecoratorcentre.co.uk/dulux-trade-supermatt
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:24, Reply)
What are they made of?
I love a bit of DIY chat
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:12, Reply)
I don't know what type of wood
But the design is nice, so I thought they'd be worth keeping.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:16, Reply)
Yer, wood can clean up nicely
I thought they might be some grotesque intricate cast iron jobs or something
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:20, Reply)
there you go
i.imgur.com/izsDwCH.jpg
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:20, Reply)
They look alright

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:29, Reply)
that's what I thought

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:46, Reply)
Look like Ikea one's

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:29, Reply)
yeah, could be

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:46, Reply)
Yeah, you can fix those up
Don't be afraid of unbolting them to sand them properly, rather than smashing your knuckles trying to get into all the awkward spots.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:44, Reply)
good advice, ta

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:45, Reply)
Here's my advice
www.ikea.com/gb/en/products/chairs-stools-benches/garden-chairs-benches-loungers/äpplarö-reclining-chair-outdoor-foldable-brown-stained-art-70208539/
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:47, Reply)
nice
I was going to get some teak oil.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:50, Reply)
they look like the ones we have
are they really heavy?
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:47, Reply)
Not especially
I carried them both at once, so they're not that heavy
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:49, Reply)
they're not the ones we have then

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:52, Reply)
yeah but you are properly super strong m8
check out those guns, guys
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:57, Reply)
I'm a fucken man-mountain m8
keyword: not vegetarian
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 10:46, Reply)
I painted mine with hammerite
Looks good and it's weatherproof
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 10:56, Reply)

Y hat k
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:32, Reply)
if you buy a banana flavoured condom
and don't unroll it before putting it on your bellend, it makes your willy look like it's wearing a hard hat for health and safety reasons.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:45, Reply)

 
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 11:00, Reply)
it's nice to have a project
paint dicks on the seats. then everyone will have to sit on dicks. imagine that!
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:19, Reply)
i'll paint a dick on your face in a minute, m8

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:21, Reply)
i don't like what's being implied here

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:28, Reply)
face rape

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:31, Reply)
well, don't ever turn your back on it - that's for sure

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:33, Reply)
good day sunshine

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:46, Reply)
^has got something he can laugh about

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:47, Reply)
his penus
lol
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:48, Reply)
priapism is no laughing matter m8

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:54, Reply)
agreed

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:54, Reply)
It can be if it's done right

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:59, Reply)
I've got priaprism
My spunk comes out like a rainbow
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:13, Reply)


(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:52, Reply)
^ tasted the rainbow

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:53, Reply)
i bet you're popular during gay pride
for various reasons
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:55, Reply)
I feel good
in a special way
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:51, Reply)
you are my silver lining m8

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:13, Reply)
hi ho

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:17, Reply)
Here I come to save the day!

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:47, Reply)
alright 'jim carrey'

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:51, Reply)
*sniffs flower*

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 8:58, Reply)
Arthur Brown has some words on the subject of flowers...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jq-Zbs-5WWA
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:01, Reply)
Can't watch videos at work,
so will imagine it's just like "Fire" but with flowers instead.

"I am the god of Interflora, and I bring you... flowers!"
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:30, Reply)
It's much better than that
Give 'Im A Flower!
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 10:09, Reply)
you're the new Supermarket Sweep host?

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:14, Reply)
Urgh.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:47, Reply)
^ stuck a massive worthless turkey in her trolley instead of the valuable goods

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 9:58, Reply)
Should have stuck some ibuprofen in there

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 10:21, Reply)
Sorry I'm late

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 10:08, Reply)
it's ok we know how you felt about dale

(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 10:16, Reply)

about up
(, Thu 19 Apr 2018, 10:40, Reply)
And now Dale Winton.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 21:44, Reply)
Not exactly a great loss, is it?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 21:53, Reply)
Unless you own his local tanning salon

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 22:03, Reply)
David Dickinson'll take up the slack.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 22:34, Reply)
He presented 'hole in the wall'.
Which is extra amusing due to his homosexuality.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 22:19, Reply)
Next time you're in the hospital and you don't hear the beep.....

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 22:19, Reply)
Oof

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 23:25, Reply)
He was in the video for Sleeper indie hit Inbetween.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 22:23, Reply)

www.twitter.com/JoeStephenson96/status/986711128947470337
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 22:50, Reply)
Was it a retrovirus?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 23:47, Reply)
A Tale of Two Cities was first serialised in two local newspapers.
It was the Bicester Times. It was the Worcester Times.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 18:32, Reply)
Alright Grr... wait a minute

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 18:41, Reply)
taking this as a compliment

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 19:03, Reply)
Coz you love the dickens

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 19:04, Reply)
Pointing at dickens

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 19:18, Reply)

wo ee
ats ee
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 19:24, Reply)
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 18:44, Reply)
you stupid monkey!

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 19:06, Reply)
Oh

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 18:46, Reply)
My

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 20:32, Reply)
Nah dickens published it himself in his own magazine, I think he drip fed it weekly or monthly to his readers, probably the reason his characters have no depth

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 18:50, Reply)
I like this.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 19:39, Reply)
I caught a bit of that Guy Fieri show, last night.
It's funny how Americans can't pronounce "Worcestershire" - silly sods say "Worcestershire" instead of "Worcestershire"!
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 19:59, Reply)
Sheer Baggins

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 20:10, Reply)
lol, "beer shaggin'"

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 20:12, Reply)
Well that was easily in the top 5 best threads of the day
What's next? You can't say 'brb is upset with mongy'
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:17, Reply)
Avicenna shitting on the Quran

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:22, Reply)
so hot

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:23, Reply)
happy cake day

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:26, Reply)
RIP my inbox

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:27, Reply)
TIL $$ has been posting here four years

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:34, Reply)
The real TIL is always in the comments

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:43, Reply)
RIP Bruno Sammartino

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:23, Reply)
oh shit, really?
well rip in peace, big fella
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:24, Reply)
The problem with all these old timers who claimed that Vince killed the territories
is that they're all jealous that they didn't think of doing it first. If Jim fucken Crockett had thought to plow all of his money and effort into getting a tv syndication, NWA would be the number 1 promotion right now.

I mean, RIP Bruno.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:27, Reply)
god, you actually like wrestling
what a fucken nerd
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 18:21, Reply)
lol
U fucken mark
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 18:29, Reply)
huge frame on that guy

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:26, Reply)
Yeah, he was a big lad
and WWWF champion for something like 10 years.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:28, Reply)
strikey willy

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:35, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:51, Reply)

i o
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 17:27, Reply)
good

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 18:30, Reply)
it doesn't need saying

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:24, Reply)
Shit doesn't weed gaying more like

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:25, Reply)
wanna get some cans and go down the park?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:27, Reply)
fuck yeah

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:27, Reply)
I only drink out of bottles

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:28, Reply)
you can't come then

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:30, Reply)
what about if I bring a flask?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:31, Reply)
not cool, man, not cool

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:36, Reply)
No, you don't understand
it keeps cold things cold, hot things hot
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:36, Reply)
wouldn't the hot things make the cold things warm and the cold things make the hot things cooler resulting in at best tepid?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 17:23, Reply)
light him up

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 17:25, Reply)
I fucken will and all if he rocks up at the park with this flask bullshit

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 17:32, Reply)
then it'll be hot again

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 18:21, Reply)
This is What's Next:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAfA0lUmR-o

I still haven't heard Kendrick Lamar but I bet you ten new pee that he's not as good
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:36, Reply)
10p, eh?
Too rich for my blood, soz
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:37, Reply)
wise
you'd fucken lose
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:45, Reply)
a man named keef
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g5ZF6DUrHI
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:50, Reply)
what lovely teef

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:52, Reply)
Try him
youtu.be/tvTRZJ-4EyI
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:59, Reply)
will do when I'm on the tube, ta

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 17:00, Reply)
They put out my picture with silence 'Cause my identity by itself causes violence

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:41, Reply)
I just hope you're happy
You're ruining this place
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:43, Reply)
he's really bringing the vibe down and I for one am not prepared to stand for it any longer

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:46, Reply)
You should all draw pictures of me to show how not bothered you are and don't know who I am

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:51, Reply)
I'm fuckin gunna, that's how not bothered I am
I'm serious
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:53, Reply)
it's the only way you'll learn
i.imgur.com/cNhHT2V.jpg
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:56, Reply)
u shud be in private eye lol

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:59, Reply)
Ian Jizzmop more like

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 17:00, Reply)
Woah , still I suppose i deserve it

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 17:01, Reply)
maybe you'll think twice next time

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 17:20, Reply)
Is there no end to mongy's bullying ways?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:41, Reply)
This new form of bullying is me not doing anything and still causing great upset

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:54, Reply)
the art of bullying without bullying
nice one 'Mister Bwaifwaite'
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:55, Reply)
show me shumuvit

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:57, Reply)
wee-wee hit me
lol
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 17:00, Reply)
Shoe?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:33, Reply)
I haven't bought new shoes in years
still got some unworn ones for future "shoeing it"
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:39, Reply)
I haven't bought any in a while, actually
Mine still have some life left in them. I tend to wear shoes until only the laces remain. Even then, I'll re-use the laces.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:01, Reply)
you should treat yourself
go on, you deserve it
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:04, Reply)
No, I don't deserve nice things

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:05, Reply)
you could buy some rubbish ones
or maybe some that are a size too small?
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:06, Reply)
or buy two pairs and wear just the left ones

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:08, Reply)
buying rubbish of anything is rubbish

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:47, Reply)
mine are almost at that state
the heels are almost worn through. usually takes about 6 months
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:07, Reply)
^heel turn

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:31, Reply)
they make my calves look shapely

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:32, Reply)

are you disporting your ankles again you wanton harlot?!
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:36, Reply)
i dunno, you tell me

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 16:27, Reply)
Yeah go on then

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:41, Reply)
^ledge

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:02, Reply)
'mcbeef' was one of the characters in shoe people
he was a chelsea boot covered in shit
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:31, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:02, Reply)
Got a pair coming from Amazon today...

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:41, Reply)
I was going to crack a joke about being light in the loafers
but I couldn't make it work, sorry
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:03, Reply)
you SHOELD be...

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:05, Reply)
oh HO!
+mo
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:12, Reply)
I need new ones

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:42, Reply)
Shoeburynes

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:42, Reply)
the windows in thanet used to rattle when the MOD detonated all their old ordnance in shoeburyness

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:44, Reply)
it was either that or your mum just sat down

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:44, Reply)
or shoebury nintendo entertainment system

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:48, Reply)
I wasn't expecting this

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:03, Reply)
sounds like a 'you' problem

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:10, Reply)
my favourite chinpokomon

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:47, Reply)
ah of course

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:04, Reply)
more of a lambtron sort of guy?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:06, Reply)
bless you
but in all seriousness i think my heart would explode if i took class a drugs these days. also cocaine is strictly for nasty people.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:48, Reply)
I heard that horrid man mongychops uses it

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:53, Reply)
that would not surprise me in the least

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:08, Reply)
I thought X factor was strictly for nasty people

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:03, Reply)
bravo

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:06, Reply)
fuck off

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:04, Reply)
die in a fire

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:07, Reply)
ooh!
edgy!
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:27, Reply)
Fuck yes, I like being nasty!

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:26, Reply)
i really hate being nasty
kind of a big problem in my life. ho-hum.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:10, Reply)
Too warm

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:49, Reply)
you're probably right

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:04, Reply)
I thought I had something stuck to the bottom of my shoe the other day and I tried scraping it on the ground to get it off and it turned out that it was the bottom of my shoe
in conclusion, I too have some new shoes due to be delivered this week
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:55, Reply)
these replies are a real mixed bag

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:01, Reply)
I ordered some new shirts for work too
or am I straying too off topic here?
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:05, Reply)
No, no, you carry on

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:08, Reply)
update: the shirts have just arrived

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:18, Reply)
i'm surprised you didn't just lift some

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:12, Reply)
it didn't touch the back of my throat ok?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:19, Reply)
are you saying i have a small willy?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:33, Reply)
brexit will sort that out

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:09, Reply)
can't wait

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:18, Reply)
Checks profile
/shoe
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:03, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:05, Reply)
that takes me back

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:16, Reply)
Always in pairs.
I learnt that early on.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:35, Reply)
Hopefully
It's my mate's birthday
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 14:49, Reply)
No shoe for you!

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:07, Reply)
^shoe nazi

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:11, Reply)
What's the deal with airline shoes?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:17, Reply)
It's a shoe about nothing

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 15:32, Reply)
Two threads in a row
I'm off to the UK soon. I haven't been there for a year, and I don't really know the place any more. Never even had a Nando's.

What cultural UK delights should I experience during my jaunt? You can't say getting stabbed.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:05, Reply)
Dogging

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:06, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:07, Reply)
dogging in Epping Forest

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:07, Reply)
needs to be in Kent rather than Essex though

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:22, Reply)
everyone walks around sans-culottes now

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:07, Reply)
paki-bashing

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:09, Reply)
that was popular in the 80s though

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:11, Reply)
Alright, Calvin Harris

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:12, Reply)
*plucks out a wolverine's eye*

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:15, Reply)
?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:21, Reply)
in the video for that song, two scientists dismember a stuffed animal
which is either a wolverine or a weasel on steroids
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:23, Reply)
I'll take your word for that.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:33, Reply)
it's back in fashion again

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:13, Reply)
Hi Morrissey!

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:14, Reply)
I prefer the term 'enlightened'
www.newstatesman.com/politics/media/2018/04/12-searing-political-insights-morrissey-s-latest-interview
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:43, Reply)
I'm impressed
I was firmly convinced that there was no way I could detest that fucking wanker any more than I already did, that's quite an achievement
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:04, Reply)
tangled, I mean

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:15, Reply)
Homelessness as a lifestyle choice

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:15, Reply)
As the sun's out, young men in skinny jeans wearing no socks and slip on shoes

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:15, Reply)
Sorry I miss read your question

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:17, Reply)
The website sells it
www.xmastreefarm.co.uk
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:25, Reply)
If you mouse over the Directions button
that bluebird has a fucking massive dong
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:27, Reply)
You like a train, and you can ride on them
www.wdmes.co.uk
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:29, Reply)
I'd forgotten about trains
I could take the nipper on the romney hythe and dymchurch.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:38, Reply)
That goes down to Dungeness, doesn't it?
Go soak up some radiation.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:41, Reply)
who was the bald Nice Guy on here that decommissioned nuclear stuff?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:58, Reply)
Hankster worked at one that was due to be decommissioned

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:00, Reply)
that's who I'm thinking of

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:02, Reply)
Or blue bell, what cartoons is she into? There loads of Peppa pig places and Thomas the tank , howletts and port lympe are still good days out
.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:48, Reply)
Good for a long wander, those safari parks.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:50, Reply)
Port lympe is fucking exhausting, massive fucking place

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:59, Reply)
Yeah.
Popular destination for school trips, when I was young.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:01, Reply)
You're supposed to drive around the safari bit, hth

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:01, Reply)
Yeah the trouble there is it's not a safari park and you can't drive round it

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:05, Reply)
but you get driven around it in great big trucks
www.limitlesstravel.org/blog/post/34

and their own website says it's a safari experience:
www.aspinallfoundation.org/port-lympne/
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:09, Reply)
That's just lazy, to get the full experience you need to push a buggy the 26 miles round it

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:11, Reply)
^
Man up, Grrry.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:14, Reply)
Now the missus wants to go to Leybourne lakes
Can I borrow a rod?
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:38, Reply)
Howlett's is on the cards
I could walk there from my Dad's place, if the marshes weren't in the way.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:51, Reply)
They're doing an ice age thing at the moment, she can see Manny and Diego, not sure about Sid

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:58, Reply)
I think she got bored of Ice Age, Monsters Inc was better

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:10, Reply)
a credit to the hardworking people at
www.up-web.co.uk
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:30, Reply)
I wonder if they could sort this place out

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:35, Reply)
I bet https links work on their sites

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:40, Reply)
I don't understand why men
are now wearing leggings. It's weird.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:22, Reply)
bait out a sket

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:17, Reply)
I do love a good sket

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:17, Reply)
this takes Theresa May's "field of wheat" comment to a whole new level

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:21, Reply)
noshing off Matthew "deffo not bent" Kelly

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:20, Reply)
If it touches the back of your throat it's gay

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:20, Reply)
do I need to buy tickets in advance?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:23, Reply)
It's like the tesco's meat counter
take a ticket and wait
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:24, Reply)
not nandos

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:27, Reply)
not even if it's cheeky?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:41, Reply)
making slime is the new craze sweeping the nation

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:28, Reply)
I ordered some borax off ebay, and got an unmarked bag of white powder through the post.
Looked well dodgy.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:35, Reply)
probably borax, that's the stuff you want

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:26, Reply)
is that where you sneeze into your hand instead of a tissue?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:45, Reply)

www.britishmuseum.org/explore/themes/same-sex_desire_and_gender.aspx
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:31, Reply)
I guess you strongly recommend it then

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:45, Reply)

www.museumoflondon.org.uk/discover/london-pride-london-lgbt-history-gay-rights

etc
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:32, Reply)
glad to hear your people finally getting their voices heard

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:46, Reply)
you want to get yourself a sweet set of pogs
pogs are all the go, and if you ain't got some good pogs, you ain't shit
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:32, Reply)
* throws Duncan pro yo-yo in bin, rushes to the pog shop

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:34, Reply)
alf pogs or gtf

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:35, Reply)
That's another one that I'm surprised they've never remade
Although, it ended pretty tragically. The final episode was the government finding Alf, and taking him to their headquarters. The plan for the next series was the family tracking him down, and rescuing him. However, the show got cancelled before it was made. So kids who were fans of the lovable alien, got to see him carted off to a secret lab, never to be seen again. lol.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:50, Reply)
no one cares, m8

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:50, Reply)
Not as bad as that Dinosaurs, where they all went extinct.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:57, Reply)
Yeah, should've seen that coming really

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:58, Reply)
steve allen pog ftw

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:45, Reply)
Happiness is a naked Steve Allen

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:50, Reply)
get a haircut here:
Southwark Gents Hairdresser
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:40, Reply)
but usually hairdresser is a racist immigrant already
and she's got tits
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:44, Reply)
Saying how hot it is for the time of year

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:43, Reply)
it is genuinely surprising that the sun is out during springtime

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:46, Reply)
Acid attack

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:55, Reply)
it's nice that you think I'm a model

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:03, Reply)
Going down the supermarket still in your pyjamas

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:58, Reply)
Smoking in the car on the way there to mask the disgusting stench of your unwashed body

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:01, Reply)
Putting Relentless over your child's confectionary-marketed-as-cereal

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:03, Reply)
Superfluous S

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:08, Reply)
Gonna grab a latte's at costa's before doing my shopping's at lidl's

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:09, Reply)
+ is my MC name

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:17, Reply)
saw that last year
loads of fat mums at Deal paddling pool, smoking in pyjamas while their spawn ran around unsupervised being cunts to the littluns. Fucking scum.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:03, Reply)
couple of dabs of billy and some amyl

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:02, Reply)
Poppers and speed?
are you going to spend the night dancing to HiNRG at Heaven?
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:16, Reply)
it's for Grrry, not me - so, yes

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:26, Reply)
Dinner in a Harvester
so much salad, so little taste...
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:12, Reply)
Have you ever been to a Harvester before?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:31, Reply)
Punch a muslim day

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:25, Reply)
The 80s and 90s being glorified as a golden age for popular culture by twats who are too young to remember it

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:26, Reply)
Christmas has been banned, and nursery rhymes with the word "black" in

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:28, Reply)
baa baa sheep of colour?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:30, Reply)
Baa bme sheep, baa bme sheep, have you any wool?
Yes, sir/madam/gendernonspecific,
Yes, sir/madam/gendernonspecific,
Three bags full.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:57, Reply)
Oh nice one, you've just managed to alienate all the empty bags

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:02, Reply)
Stop trigering me!

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:06, Reply)
Sing a song of sixpence
a pocket full of rye, four and twenty womyn of colour,

Formed a non exclusionary* community to advance and propagate the interests of womyn of colour and provide a voice to the historically disenfranchised.

*Non exclusionary apart from white men who
aren't properly human anyway.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:40, Reply)
100 day waits to see your GP
then never being seen by the hospital because all non-emergency procedures have been cancelled forever to accommodate a revolving door system of elderly patients with no social care plan in place due to the useless fuckwits employed by local authorities and lack of oversight from central government, oh ahaha, comedy website
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:36, Reply)
Strikethrough all that shit, More dogging

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:38, Reply)
I left my heart in San Francisco
but I left my sperm on the windscreen of a Honda Jazz in a layby near Worthing
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:07, Reply)
my step-dad's cancer treatment and end of life care was pretty well organised tbf
the main issue was dickhead doctors writing prescriptions that were only valid for 48hrs, on a saturday afternoon before a bank holiday.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 12:42, Reply)
You'd think that after all those years at school they might be a bit brighter

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:03, Reply)
If 2 Can is any example
GPs are barely more than care-in-the-community jobs for the permanenty beflidded.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:07, Reply)
chat to any proper doctor and they'll tell you GPs are the thick kids of the class

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:47, Reply)
Trespass on a railway line
simultaneously fucking up your day and inconveniencing hundreds of pissed off commuters.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:19, Reply)
Go to a Wetherspoons
and count how many pensioners stay for all of that days meals.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 13:21, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 6:10, Reply)
Oops up side your head

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 6:33, Reply)
Word up.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 7:04, Reply)
all that hip and hop has gone to your head, young man

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 7:38, Reply)
I am very easily influenced

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:07, Reply)
Y

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 7:06, Reply)
the post-nipplectomy cleavage suits you m8

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 7:38, Reply)
My eyes are up here.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:58, Reply)
RIP Babs Bush

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 7:43, Reply)
bit insensitive to have birthday candles at her funeral m8

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 7:47, Reply)
The Burning bush

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 7:59, Reply)
vg

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:05, Reply)
happy Four Candles, to you, Two Dollars!!!!

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:50, Reply)
They grow up so fast! :')

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:51, Reply)
Oh, I thought you were older than that
Something something, yewtree
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:55, Reply)
Turtle power.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:58, Reply)
Dodgy pensioner who "trains up" four teenagers and lives well away from the eyes of the law, eh
I'm starting to think that shredder was the good guy all along
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:22, Reply)
The Foot Clan was a legitimate youth outreach programme.
Splinter just ran a gang.

That Krang, though, not sure he was on the level.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:25, Reply)
My Lazy Town theory follows a similar line
Sportacus was training all of the children from a young age, and indoctrinating them into his New Order. Robbie Rotten knew the truth, and was constantly trying to undermine Sportacus, in order to stifle his efforts. The only reason Rotten never went public, was because he realised the truth would crush the spirits of the children, meaning they'd never trust an adult again. He was the true hero of Lazy Town.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:29, Reply)
If anything can save this moribund flebsite,
it's Lazy Town fanfic.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:35, Reply)
Stephanie is a 30 year old russian sleeper agent
with a rare growth disorder, giving her the appearance of a child. She can blend into any community without suspicion.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:40, Reply)
You're just giving comfort to sweaty-palmed weirdos.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:48, Reply)
Hey, that's on them
I just want to reveal Lazy Town as the taut political thriller it is
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:53, Reply)
I can't bring myself to Strikey-g this into something disgusting.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:55, Reply)
that's probably for the best

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 10:18, Reply)
It is a morning

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 7:51, Reply)
it's a pretty nice one too
i.imgur.com/5xP7pfZ.jpg
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:07, Reply)
That's a tiny loft conversion on that other roof

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:09, Reply)
4-storey block with a 5th floor in the mansard roof
this is a shot from the inner courtyard looking north, so there's barely any roof windows on that side.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:13, Reply)
Yes.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:23, Reply)
hullo

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:20, Reply)
Mornington
The sun is out, the birds are coughing in the trees...
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:29, Reply)
alright Riccardo

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:31, Reply)
not at all, actually
the ex is turning my kid against me now. Shit's about to get really bad when the court papers come through.

:((((((((
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:34, Reply)
grit your teeth and get through it m8, you'll be ok
and start as many threads about it as you want
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:36, Reply)
I will endeavour to keep the blubbing and beakering to a minimum

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:38, Reply)
I don't mind
unless there is blobbing
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:44, Reply)
blobbings better than oo nommy nomm look what I chomped
fucking food threads
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:44, Reply)
oh there's blobbing alright
blobbing, spotting and discharge
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:03, Reply)
World's worst solicitors...

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:18, Reply)
This is not good news.
Why is she such a cunt.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:37, Reply)
Stay positive
No good will come of getting angry.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:40, Reply)
That angry birds game earned millions and even got turned into a film earning millions

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:59, Reply)
Angry beefs.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:00, Reply)
yeah, shows what TH knows eh
Plus Angry Anderson made a mint from the Neighbours wedding record
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:01, Reply)
I should've thought before I spoke
man, I feel foolish
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:07, Reply)
Steve Wright in the Afternoon's comedy character 'Mr Angry' netted Steve a cool 4 million

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:10, Reply)
This is all terrible
I should go and punch someone to redress the balance, really
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:25, Reply)
punch yourself in the back of the head

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:27, Reply)
xxx

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:56, Reply)
This is all vile shit
and I am sympathy for you and your girl.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:04, Reply)
no smoke without fire m8

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:17, Reply)
What about smoke machines? They aren't on fire

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:18, Reply)
they aren't producing any smoke either

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:38, Reply)
Errr they are called smoke machines for a reason

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:45, Reply)
I calls 'em fog machines

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 10:56, Reply)
And vaping - no fire there

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:25, Reply)
no smoke either

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:36, Reply)
So there IS smoke without fire, and anger often pays
the world is upside fucken down today!
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:37, Reply)
good job it isn't inside out!

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:44, Reply)
haha!

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:55, Reply)
Spare me your round earth conspiracy.
We'd all fall off if the disc were inverted!
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:50, Reply)
Well it's a beautiful morning here at TH Towers
i.imgur.com/uhrxbov.jpg

In spite of feeling sick as a pike, due to having chips from the worst chippy on the south coast.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:49, Reply)
I bet you've wanked over that trellis

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:51, Reply)
Not yet, waiting for the new ladder

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:54, Reply)
we all have

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:03, Reply)
If you get to say trellis, I will say balustrade
just because I don't think I've ever typed that word out before and I like it. There.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:14, Reply)
disgusting

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:16, Reply)
I refuse to live my life in the shadows, I'm not going to be afraid any more
I am who I am. I like the word balustrade and I don't care who knows.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:26, Reply)
Mrs Balustrade, of North Wales.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:20, Reply)
If you're hitting me with balustrade
I'm going on a wainscotting tip
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:26, Reply)
are pikes renowned for their poor immune system then?
or are they wicked skilled at skateboarding?
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:57, Reply)
both

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:08, Reply)
What did you have?
not the RISSOLE?
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:05, Reply)
must have been a bad clam

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:07, Reply)
posh fishcake

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:10, Reply)
Infest

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:23, Reply)
supporting:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aK3hF3bVPs
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:31, Reply)
you betcha

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 8:52, Reply)
wasn't that some wanky gameshow with Matthew "deffo not bent" Kelly?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:10, Reply)
Don't fret , get set, are you ready ? You bet !

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:12, Reply)
The You Bet rap
The true birth of the british hip hop movement
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:30, Reply)
so true

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 10:03, Reply)
so don't fret, get set, are you ready for this?
... YOU BET!!
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 9:13, Reply)
one of my old staff went to a house party about 20 years ago
Matthew "deffo not bent" Kelly was getting a nosh off some lad on the stairs
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 10:54, Reply)
I thought oral sex didn't count

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 10:57, Reply)
gutted

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:04, Reply)
I didn't think you believed me ffs

(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:04, Reply)
"Don't talk with your mouth full, Rich."
Haha, it's funny 'cos I'm suggesting that you were the nosher! Oh, man, you don't get humour like this on other websites.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2018, 11:05, Reply)
palindromic barcodes
what are your favourites?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:07, Reply)
QRcodez4lyf

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:13, Reply)
pissoffyoustupidcuntnucdiputsuoyffossip

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:15, Reply)
Not even a photo in that article?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:21, Reply)
no

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:16, Reply)
Top thread, dingus

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:19, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:23, Reply)
This is for you, and your shit thread.
scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/30706680_1757963910929428_2052976637863002112_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&_nc_eui2=v1%3AAeGFZGuNbJ8eyVaRvQex5HTIDwI0r74_On2D3Zog93khxHi-LfCyZ59lqpmbCsHCZ1cz46-ZSC1OahjB1tHPOsqoVWAVg0-9Ge-Lyy1F9zaRXw&oh=50e987a787cb250be2a87a1a1293ee3b&oe=5B675D45
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 19:27, Reply)
Brings a tear to my eye.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 19:33, Reply)
You'll be on its enemy's list, I'm still No1 it seems , good times

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 19:40, Reply)
wouldn't it be better if we all got along?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 19:50, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 19:51, Reply)
Turtle power
Inb4 Drimble.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:25, Reply)
:)

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:26, Reply)
Didn't even spot that, nice work

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 18:07, Reply)
Entercourse Of The New Age

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 20:05, Reply)
"I shagged Wendy up the arse on Brighton pier after she'd had seven Bacardi Breezers"
It's not quite a palindrome but it's close enough.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 20:21, Reply)
Afternoon cool thread.
How is it going cool dudes?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:22, Reply)
très très très branché

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:23, Reply)
I don't know what that means, but it must be cool if it's here

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:08, Reply)
Yeah alright
bit of a headache, but nothing major. Fish & chips round mums tonight.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:24, Reply)
fucking chips, yes!

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:29, Reply)
make sure your bellend doesn't get stang off the vinegar

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:55, Reply)
Ooh yah!

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:57, Reply)
that's the best bit

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:03, Reply)
Bellsamic probably
lol
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:06, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:07, Reply)
Poor daddy.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:32, Reply)
Have an aspirin

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:08, Reply)
Got a new side job, hopefully that'll be good for a few beer tokens

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:37, Reply)
Anything exciting?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:09, Reply)
well, it's not Demolitions Expert or Playboy Model Lubricator or anything
but it's got potential
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:12, Reply)
It's warm here, nice spring day

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:46, Reply)
Yeah, pretty nice here too

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:09, Reply)
Mid twenties come Thursday, soon be time to get down the lake and fill it in

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:12, Reply)
Sounds good, there's some bloody speeding crackdown here in the Thames valley this week,
So I'm going to have to try a new county for a hoon.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:44, Reply)
Can't you just get those flip up plates ?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:46, Reply)
Can't you just obey the speed limits, like a responsible grown-up?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:10, Reply)
Don't be a fucking wally.
This is a cool thread not a plod thread.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:18, Reply)
Just try to ensure that you don't take anybody with you when you misjudge a corner and distribute your body parts along that quiet country lane.
There's a good lad.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:25, Reply)
Fuck off you sanctimonious fun sponge.
I hope you get a really nasty cancer.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:33, Reply)
Rude.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:43, Reply)
do him over

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:46, Reply)

do run

lol
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:53, Reply)
lol, apposite

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:56, Reply)
speeders are cunts

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:51, Reply)
On the whole, everythang's groovy baby

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:53, Reply)
I'm pleased

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:09, Reply)
swings and roundabouts, innit?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:54, Reply)
Probably, I dunno

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:09, Reply)
best keep out of the playground, then

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:17, Reply)
cool as a cucumber

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:05, Reply)
I really like cucumber.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:10, Reply)

youtu.be/cPIFMCKpqFU
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:11, Reply)
i was really excited to try a cucumber scented bath oil
but when i opened it it actually smelled of watermelon. total con.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:52, Reply)
busy but I'm just about managing to retain an air of coolness

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:13, Reply)
Super cres

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:45, Reply)
Not bad, Windles, not bad at all
Two thirds of my new PC have arrived, final parts should arrive tomorrow then I need to wait until I have an evening free to get it all built and set up :D
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:27, Reply)
would it not be quicker just buying a ready made one?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:31, Reply)
Yeah, but also much more expensive considering the parts I've got
Looking on prebuild PC sites I'd be looking at £800+ for the same spec whereas I've got the lot for just over £500, if you're willing to build you can save a couple of ton at least.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:41, Reply)
Sweaty nerds aren't cool.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:45, Reply)
If they were, they wouldn't be sweaty

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:53, Reply)
could be a cold sweat

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:09, Reply)
Cold is not cool either. It's cold

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:19, Reply)
This seems awfully exclusionist
What temperature range are we talking here for cool?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:20, Reply)
this should make things clearer
youtu.be/mjXWpK2YqQE
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:27, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsPheErBj8
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:29, Reply)
yeah but what's cooler than being cool?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:05, Reply)
He's registering on the coolometer at over 10 mega-fonzies!

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:07, Reply)
I hope you install Encarta '95 on it

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:22, Reply)
Already have the CD-ROM
Mind Maze on a 1440p monitor is going to be sweeeeeet
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:26, Reply)
i need a shit but i'm too busy
but not too busy to tell you cool dudes all about it in detail
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:42, Reply)
You're not cool and not welcome in this thread.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 16:55, Reply)
lol
i dun the poo now anyways.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:02, Reply)
STOP THE FUCKEN PRESS
www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/people/to-me-to-you-chuckle-brother-spotted-dining-in-portsmouth-1-8461440
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:00, Reply)
wow
WOW
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 17:39, Reply)
HI PRICK'S
y'araight?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:55, Reply)
yasssssss

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:03, Reply)
moving house again Jason?
Doesn't seem long since your last move
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:13, Reply)
every stop he makes, he makes a new friend

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:16, Reply)
the in-no-way-littlest homo

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:25, Reply)
I know right!!
Yeah Didsbury living just eats your money.
New house is bigger for less money. No brainer
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:46, Reply)
I've bought my mum a snowglobe for her birthday
and I'm going to put a picture of my handsome mug inside it. I think she'll LOL.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:04, Reply)
She does love seeing your face covered in a sticky wet white mess.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:08, Reply)
Every time she shakes that globe
she'll think of all the times she wished she'd shaken you as an infant.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:09, Reply)
charming

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:42, Reply)

wglobe rlax

*shrug*
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 12:03, Reply)
let's not get into how I'd put a photo of myself inside a snorlax

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 12:29, Reply)
Shave an image into its belly fur?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 12:55, Reply)
Yes mate.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:07, Reply)
sweet

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:13, Reply)
flights booked, car rented, suitcases dusted off
I'll be in England in 12 days
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:09, Reply)
We going for a beer?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:12, Reply)
Might pop over to that blokes house
and burn down the bike we helped him build
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:13, Reply)
Good idea.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:17, Reply)
thanks for the warning

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:14, Reply)
stay off the M25 at the weekends and we'll be fine
I doubt I'll get any closer to you than that.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:17, Reply)
You could stop by and give him some driving lessons.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:29, Reply)
he'd just moan that the car stereo couldn't play 45s

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:31, Reply)
It probably won't play cds either

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:32, Reply)
My 2004 Jag came with a cassette deck
that's some Ford-inspired bean-counting right there
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:42, Reply)
Cassette decks were preferable to CD players when mp3 players were becoming the norm,
as you could stick one of those dummy cassettes in that carried music from your ipod.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:45, Reply)
I remember them
I was working in radio when Ofcom was created, and their first act was to ban those little FM transmitters that let you broadcast your mp3 player to your car stereo, because FM broadcast licences were restricted and cost about 10k each per 28 days.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 12:13, Reply)
My mate bought 3new fords recently, his missus had to wait 2 weeks longer for hers as she wanted a cd player

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:46, Reply)

Practical.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:35, Reply)
Keith Moon had a record player in his Rolls
And a speaker behind the front grille, I believe
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:37, Reply)
Isn't that where the radiator should be?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:43, Reply)
don't ask me m8
All I know is he had it connected to a microphone and drove around being a pillock
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:51, Reply)
it was a Bentley
'At some point earlier, The Who's bassist, John Entwistle, shared ownership with Moon of a one-off Bentley designed by UK coachbuilders Freestone and Webb which debuted at the 1950 Geneva Motor Show. The two had it fitted out with a Tannoy speaker behind the grille and "deployed it in a series of Pythonesque practical jokes," according to reporter Richard Fleury. "These typically involved cruising through Home Counties villages impersonating the local Tory candidate, warning of imminent invasions by boatloads of refugees. Or they'd pose as police hunting for deadly snakes. The concealed PA gave Moon so much pleasure he installed it in his next purchase, a "vast" two-tone S1 Bentley converted to look like an S2." (note: this S1 was the one with which Moon accidentally killed his chauffeur, and was subsequently sold).'
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:53, Reply)
Those wacky funsters!

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:56, Reply)
Where did you sell a dead chauffeur
in the days before ebay?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 13:34, Reply)
something about Jeeves

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:06, Reply)
Three on the tree, walnut verneer and velour seats
that's some Malaise Era shit right there
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:37, Reply)
I hope this makes sense to someone.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:46, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malaise_era
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 12:14, Reply)
OK.
I've looked up "three on the tree" for myself.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 12:54, Reply)
i dun one of them fings
i.imgur.com/udBFWo4.jpg
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 12:39, Reply)
I went for something different
i.imgur.com/R1xGi14.jpg
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 13:00, Reply)
ha, nice

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 13:12, Reply)
well I don't know about that

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 13:16, Reply)
Yeah not bad, drinking with my mate is hard work but at least he's leaving the house now

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:40, Reply)
you know, same old

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:43, Reply)
s'pose

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:52, Reply)
I am now
Half an hour on the phone to the bank to arrange a poxy overdraft, but it's done now. Also, looks like I'm getting a snake tomorrow.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:55, Reply)
What flavour?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:55, Reply)
fancy coming to see The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society with me?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 12:20, Reply)
Any tit in it ?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 12:33, Reply)
I hope so

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 12:35, Reply)
deffo

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 12:58, Reply)
Just booked a nice jaunt to Barcelona in August. Chipper.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 12:50, Reply)
wouldn't everything be better without tangles?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 13:21, Reply)
not for you, you barely notice him

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 13:39, Reply)
he's been working his arse off to get himself noticed recently though

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 13:46, Reply)
This Kendrick Lamar fellow is quite good
the bass on my headphones is all wobbly. I can't understand a word he's saying though.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 13:32, Reply)
He's probably speaking ebonics.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 13:42, Reply)
What, like the place where you buy washing machines?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 13:46, Reply)
Cristal and Cohibas are old news.
Hip hop stars are all about white goods as status symbols, these days.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:02, Reply)
Ice Cube Tray

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:04, Reply)
LL Cool Fridge

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:13, Reply)
Dr tumble 'Dre' er.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 15:00, Reply)
Eminelectrolux

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 19:58, Reply)
he's no Lemar

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 13:46, Reply)
He's no Limahl either

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 13:47, Reply)
i don't think he's a lemur either

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:19, Reply)
probably doesn't come up to the standards of Mark Lamarr either

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:20, Reply)
Im quite enjoying Cardi B at the minute. It's well gangsta for me.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 14:03, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 6:21, Reply)
Yes

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 7:35, Reply)
up at at 'em, scrappy

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 7:48, Reply)
sup

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:32, Reply)
Yo

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:23, Reply)
another opportunity to make things better

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 7:50, Reply)
after so many wasted opportunities
will this one be any different?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 7:54, Reply)
not if you take that approach, no

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 7:57, Reply)
What it is

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:05, Reply)
alright sn0tters

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:45, Reply)
alright old person

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:11, Reply)
Oi oi

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:08, Reply)
fix up look sharp

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:57, Reply)
touch me

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:17, Reply)
^ diana ro$$

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:18, Reply)
$$am fox more like

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:24, Reply)
don't really want to feel your body tbh

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:11, Reply)
Well, knit me a sweater
so it is!
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:30, Reply)
fuck off shaun

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:11, Reply)
I didn't say knit me into a sweater
you rude man
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:29, Reply)
shaun got a sweater at the start of A Close Shave
in the automatic knitting machine
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:56, Reply)
Still rude

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:05, Reply)
yo

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:33, Reply)
back atcha!

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:11, Reply)
Kendrick Lamar has wone a pulitzer prize
for a hippetty hoppety record called Damn. Well, I may just listen to it on spotify later.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:40, Reply)
Pull it surprise, more like.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:44, Reply)
Maybe it was a Wurlitzer prize
because his organ rose up to entertain the audience? I dunno. I'm so not down with the hip kids.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:45, Reply)
poo-shitzer more like

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:47, Reply)
You understand about this type of urban music
is Kendrick Lamar any good? Would I like his record?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:53, Reply)
I've no idea Gary, sorry
I know fuck all about hip hop/rap from the past 15 years - what I've heard is dreadful. Shit beats and rubbish skills.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:56, Reply)
Spastic Kid In Lezzy Land
#HulbertMiddleSchool88
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:57, Reply)
hahaha

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:00, Reply)
doesn't sound that bad to be honest

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:03, Reply)
I'm afraid I've steered things on to music chat
right from the off - someone's gonna take a swipe at me.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:05, Reply)
i don't think he was calling you skill, ma8e

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:51, Reply)
Well, the fact he won an award traditionally given to investigative journalists
tells me that his album may be more of an essay, so I'll check it out and report back. I would also like to point out I prefer essays to hip hop so this will be an interesting exercise (I do quite like Dangermouse & Gemini though).
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:02, Reply)
no he won the one for music not journalism

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:07, Reply)
I won the Nobel Prize for Keepin' It Real

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:08, Reply)
deserved

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:14, Reply)
The Ross Noble prize for keeping it unfunny

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:24, Reply)
rude

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:25, Reply)
Do they even have one of those?
how boring. I thought he'd branched out and found some way of splicing reportage into his songs - was looking forward to huge swathes of news and reporting. How disappointing.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:11, Reply)
I was about to suggest listening to it as the best way to establish if you'd like it or not

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:09, Reply)
I think it's a good album, I like his style and voice, and his narrative is refreshing

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:10, Reply)
never heard any of his stuff but banned poster Dozer said he was good so I assumed he wasn't

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:01, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:02, Reply)
6Music seem to be inordinately fond of him,
but what I've heard of him doesn't live up to their hype.

He curated the soundtrack for Black Panther, though, which was alright.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:01, Reply)
No, alright was from his previous album.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:02, Reply)
I thought that was Supergrass?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:17, Reply)
I thought pulitzers were for investigative journalism
not rapping about bitches
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:12, Reply)
This thread should win an award for bitching about rappers.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:16, Reply)
Snitches get stiches
but rappers get pulitzers - go figure.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:18, Reply)
yeaux heaux meaux

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:43, Reply)
more than one yeau?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:12, Reply)
of course
one for each of my forum chums
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:14, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:17, Reply)
appreciated, thanks man

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:02, Reply)
Could this be any more of a morning thread?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:44, Reply)
OH
MY
GAWD
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:12, Reply)
hi

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:57, Reply)
finally, a sensible reply.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:12, Reply)
i'm a highly sensible dude
hey, did you know that the bloke in the harry and the hendersons 'harry' suit also played predator?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:52, Reply)
he died of AIDS at our age, poor bloke

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:58, Reply)
he clearly knew how to live though

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:18, Reply)
A run down his filmography turns up Highway To Hell,
featuring Gilbert Gottfried as Hitler.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:25, Reply)
OK, now you have my attention

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:26, Reply)
Ok, turns out it's exactly what you would expect
youtu.be/BSBaJrbsgzw?t=67
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:27, Reply)
"gilbert godfrey"

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:36, Reply)
I knew that

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:03, Reply)
ooh look at me, i'm know-it-all windy
*minces around*
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:19, Reply)

i.imgur.com/WFrX0Mr.gifv
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:23, Reply)
haha, aww
imgur.com/gallery/XYw4U
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:31, Reply)
That's a bit unusual

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:34, Reply)
I like this.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 11:03, Reply)

a highly sensible dude
hey, did you know that the bloke in

also played predator?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:06, Reply)
hey!

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:19, Reply)
I knew that.
He replaced JCVD.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:16, Reply)

knew that
he replaced JC
have
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:20, Reply)
How quaint.

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 10:24, Reply)
oh hi

(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 8:57, Reply)
oh hi-i-i-i-i
do do do piece of toast etc
(, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 9:13, Reply)

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