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If they did a remake of 'Three Men and a Baby' it'd probably be more like 'Three Transgenders and a Syrian Refugee' or summat!
This world, honestly
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:30, Reply)
It'd still be shit, though.
The day before yesterday I spent 30 seconds cringing hard when I saw they'd made yet another 'man wakes up as a woman and woman wakes up as a man' films, because that's SO FUCKING ORIGINAL, yeah, and not at all shit and for cunts in any way.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:33, Reply)
Member when they basically remade big with Jennifer Garner?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:34, Reply)
no

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:35, Reply)
well they did.
I never watched it though.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:37, Reply)
cool

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:38, Reply)
Nope.
Googling has revealed there's a film out there called "13 Going On 30", which does indeed look like a shameless rip-off.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:37, Reply)
I thought that was a rip off of Freaky Friday
or did that one just get remade too?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:38, Reply)
I don't know, as I haven't seen either this one or Freaky Friday.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:39, Reply)
Wasn't there a Freaky Friday remake with Lindsay Lohan

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:56, Reply)
freaky friday did suffer a remake

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:09, Reply)
I thought the remake was quite good
It needed bringing up to date
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:17, Reply)
Not even Sigourney Weaver could save it

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 18:00, Reply)
Which one is that?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:35, Reply)
Lol, no-one knows what Slippery Mick is on about.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:44, Reply)
He replied to you, ya jabroni.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:01, Reply)
he's such a Lindup

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:09, Reply)
There is a female remake of Very Bad Things coming out soon
It can't be as bad as the original, which was pretty bad.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:49, Reply)
I thought that was mildly entertaining.
Has anyone here actually seen the female Ghostbusters?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:51, Reply)
Saw it in the cinema
It is fine popcorn fare if you wipe the original from your brain. Very disjointed, lots cut out to get the duration down so a directors cut in the future might actually sort out some pacing issues.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:54, Reply)
yes
it sucks rancid donkey bollocks. i was stoned watching it and still didn't laugh.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:10, Reply)
Me and my kids enjoyed it

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:15, Reply)
Have you tried down the back of the sofa?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:37, Reply)
Yer, it was ok. Some funny bits.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:48, Reply)
I'm very upset about other people's gender.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:51, Reply)
You wish I were female, I understand

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:02, Reply)
three Pakistani orphans a gender fluid entity
I think you mean
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:53, Reply)
oh yeah

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:01, Reply)
getting a bit fed up with your hate speech

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:58, Reply)
I meant it in a good way!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:02, Reply)
I'm sure that's what hitler said and all.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:04, Reply)
two hats is worse than hitler, infact he's worse than the bloke who killed hitler

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:08, Reply)
I bet he's even worse than that priest that kept everyone awake by playing Cutty Ranks at 3 in the morning.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:10, Reply)
that was me m8

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:32, Reply)
Borrow the old man's dog collar again did we?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:39, Reply)
y

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:10, Reply)
Alright, Tim Westwood

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:32, Reply)
I'm a worse painter than Hitler

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:16, Reply)
John Travolta and Bruce Willis in
Look Who's TransQueer
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:07, Reply)
Do you get gay men trapped in women's bodies? Hey Dr I want to become a man so I can get bummed seems a hard sell

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:17, Reply)
I'd watch that

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:17, Reply)
Honey, I Shrunk My Testicles with extensive HRT

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:19, Reply)
Guest star: Tom Cruise

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:24, Reply)
This is probably libelous.
Doubt Rob can afford the legal fees, so RIP b3ta.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:35, Reply)
He'll be abducted by Scientologists and tortured, hopefully

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:53, Reply)
The Ex-Men

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 18:08, Reply)
I saw 'Adam' at the fringe last weekend.
It's about an Egyptian transman who seeks asylum in Glasgow.
The woman next to me kept muttering "for fucks sake" throughout the show.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:36, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8107203
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:38, Reply)

www.instagram.com/mikelindup/
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:44, Reply)
very, VERY cool

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:51, Reply)
Well done rich. You're a very good actor.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:06, Reply)
I think he was the woman next to you actually.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:53, Reply)
That's how good an actor I am, m8
NO ONE KNOWS FOR SURE
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:54, Reply)
I'm down from tomorrow until Monday, I'm seeing a play with Robert 'EMH' Picardo.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:42, Reply)
Voyager was shit.
Luckily he's been in good stuff, like Inner Space.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:33, Reply)
haha
Did she know what the show was going to be about before she went in?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:51, Reply)
I got the impression she'd been dragged along by her husband.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:08, Reply)
Hiya

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:24, Reply)
Wetting my finger and holding it up to the wind has revealed that it is time for a new thread.
Yesterday I had to take the bus replacement service and the driver looked like Snoop Dogg's younger brother. He passed the time on his route by flicking V's and dabbing while laughing whenever he passed another bus driver. What's the most fun you've ever had in a boring job?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:27, Reply)
wanking

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:28, Reply)
I nearly crashed the bus!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:33, Reply)
I did data entry for a dairy once
It was me and a proper Kent chav in a room in an industrial estate for 8 hours, starting at 5am. We'd usually finished our day's work in an hour, and spent the rest of the shift eating free yoghurt and trying to do donuts in the electric milk floats.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:34, Reply)
So, is it possible to do a donut in an electric milk float?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:51, Reply)
They're slow, but I reckon they're probably quite torquey.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:20, Reply)
not those ones
felt like they were going to tip over.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:09, Reply)
According to my builder mate transit tippers are surprisingly quick off the line, especially if you've only got a bag of sand over the back axle.
And if there unladen they're very easy to drift round traffic islands.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:19, Reply)
had a few where i just got drunk all day , now i know what dabbing looks like but have no idea what it means

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)
Does it even mean anything?
Other than "Look at me: I'm claiming affiliation and thus vicarious coolness with a trending gesture among young people by making that same gesture."
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:38, Reply)
smoking butane wax cannabis the internet says

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:43, Reply)
wheres manolith ** DUE TO HYGIENIC REASONS THIS PRODUCT IS FINAL SALE **
https
www.meowingtons.com/collections/for-cats/products/cat-eared-pouch-sweatshirt
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:18, Reply)
haha, wow!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:24, Reply)
On my morning commute, I would sit at the back of the bus and email complaints to the operator about the driver's behaviour.
I got three of them fired before getting a lifetime ban from that route.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)
get a hobby

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:38, Reply)
Collecting bus drivers' scalps was my Pokémon.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:46, Reply)
some black comedian quipped "white people invented yelp because they love snitching so much"
You are the embodiment of that phrase.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:39, Reply)
The fuck is "yelp"?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:45, Reply)
You fucking stupid cunt.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:48, Reply)
I know everyone here has a low opinion of me,
but I'm shocked to learn that you also hold the bus operators' disciplinary procedures in such low regard.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:59, Reply)
What were they doing that upset you so much?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:10, Reply)
Nothing, Windy, I was making it up.
I actually spent my bus commute listening to The Archers podcast, or watching homestar runner videos that I'd compressed into avi files on the tiny screen of my Zen mp3 player.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:12, Reply)
This is only marginally less awful than being a grass.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:21, Reply)
Exactly.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:25, Reply)
I fucking love dabbing.
Might dab now.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:46, Reply)
Sherbet dib dab or bag of wizz ?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:48, Reply)
wizz I hope

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:48, Reply)
Fuck off plod, I'm not saying anything without a lawyer.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:53, Reply)
I'll watch

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:48, Reply)
I just did 3 dabs in a row.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:59, Reply)
nice

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:03, Reply)
People who dab always look like they're doing a sort of covert Hitler salute and don't want anyone to see their face.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:07, Reply)
Well duhhh

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:09, Reply)
The alt-right really lacks pride in their endeavours.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:14, Reply)
Going to the pub on Friday lunch with the owner of the business
The workers getting absolutely wankered on his dime, and then coming back to work about 4ish to have a sleep under the desk.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:13, Reply)
That sounds like a decent racket.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:20, Reply)
The work was alright
Watching TV for mentions of products. Even being paid to watch This Morning didn't make it any better.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:30, Reply)
Worked a marketing contract for a tourist board a few years ago.
Literally nothing doing in the office so I watched the whole of Game of Thrones Season 1 on Ranierland (wiv da angles now). It was fucking shit and made me even more bored.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:15, Reply)
you fucking idiot

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:19, Reply)
#spoiler

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:23, Reply)
Did you, yeah?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:13, Reply)
I worked in an awful Mexican resturant opositte the BBC on Oxford Road, Manchester
As a starving and skinny student I used to use the fridge-cleaning hours to eat as much grated cheese as I could before the proprietor spotted the theft.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:17, Reply)
You are Anthony Worrall Thompson AICMFP.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:21, Reply)
Alright, Jerry.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:26, Reply)
Tits

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:31, Reply)
Posting Mike Lindup and dog's tits references on a moribund flebsite

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:37, Reply)
Are you the Judean People's Front?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:40, Reply)
Poo queer peeholes cunt, more like

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:44, Reply)
Nowhere near sock's effort from yesterday,
not that that's a bad thing.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:48, Reply)
Looks like Aldi are doing to whisky what they've done to gin.
thehookmag.com/2017/08/aldis-18-whisky-officially-one-best-world-147552/

I hope they apply it to rum soon.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:57, Reply)
Ooh, might see if my local one stocks this.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:08, Reply)
Boring ask alert
Has anyone used surveyors for work on dilapidated buildings, if so please up there me. if not, please go forth and replace words in these sentences with rude words.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:03, Reply)
It's been a while since anyone asked me to up there them.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:07, Reply)
Well today is your lucky day

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:28, Reply)
strike through everything and replace with willy

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:08, Reply)

i o
through everything and replace with my
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:12, Reply)
Time for a new thread huh
My new bottle of rum is absolutely outstanding, lovely stuff. Do you have expensive tastes or are you fine with bog standard, 'does the job' things?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:35, Reply)
my willy does the job

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:36, Reply)
true, but I think the kids would prefer their old lollipop man to come back out of retirement

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:48, Reply)
$$'s willy does the job

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:37, Reply)
Cheers

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:38, Reply)
The rest of the Trip Advisor reviews though
Not so good
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:12, Reply)

r
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:47, Reply)
ma'am

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:49, Reply)
What rum is it?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:38, Reply)

www.thewhiskyexchange.com/p/4550/ron-zacapa-centenario-xo-rum-solera-gran-reserva-especial
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:50, Reply)
Looks lovely. Is the £50 stuff any good?
For £90 I could get two bottles of the rather excellent Diplomatico Reserva Exclusiva. Which is also fantastic. Have you tried that? If you haven't, you should.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:56, Reply)
No idea re the £50 stuff I'm afraid
I have had the Diplomatico I think, very nice but this one is head and shoulders above any rum I've ever tasted
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:59, Reply)
Is that what gay pirates drink?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:13, Reply)
Dunno, but this is what your wife drinks
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/82/9e/17/829e17e3b48dfba33f2998ec70352584.jpg
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:14, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:12, Reply)
don't be silly
their brand is well known
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:45, Reply)
Richard's looks gayer

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:57, Reply)
The shopping turned up today
And they substituted a 70cl bottle of gin...WITH A 1L BOTTLE OF GIN. Score.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:40, Reply)
I'm firmly a 'does the job' man for most things.
The only exception I can think of off the top of my head is headphones, for which I really thing shelling out extra is worth it.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:43, Reply)
I'm inclined to agree but I can't fault the Portapro's I bought for about £15 for work.
I've had to replace the foam in them a couple of times in 8 years I guess.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:47, Reply)
I couldn't justify shelling out mental money to replace my old sennheisers
so I bought some JVCs (HA-RX700) and they're much better than I expected them to be.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:50, Reply)
Hmm, good to know.
My Sennheisers are currently running on sub-par peripherals because it was £220 for a new official cable or £30 for a cheapy one from China.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:52, Reply)
At more or less line level it makes fuck all difference, just pseudo-scientific snake oil.
I had a fantastic pair of HD25's with slightly crapper cables and BA branding that were excess Concorde stock. Got them for a song but they went missing.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:54, Reply)
That was me m8

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:59, Reply)
I think it might have been the same cunt that nicked my copy of Mr Kirk's Nightmare.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:01, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8107024
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:06, Reply)
I keep an array of posh whiskies on standby for when I'm in the mood
but I'm perfectly happy guzzling cheap local cider on a summer's afternoon, or mixing bourbon and coke with company.

Speaking of expensive, I really fancy this and it's barely 100k.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:45, Reply)
What's that in £
/lazy
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:47, Reply)
about 100k m8, says it right there

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:48, Reply)
soz, I have you on ignore

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:52, Reply)
good, cos I've been making wanker gestures at you all this time

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:53, Reply)
nice lake, by it and i'll come see you

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:41, Reply)
The lake was the key point
that and only having 5 houses in the whole village.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:46, Reply)
would you own the lake? can you see how big it is?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:53, Reply)
put "Sidory Zapolne 2" into google maps and you'll see the house
Lake is probably state owned, but I doubt the neighbours would grass you up if you fished it.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:18, Reply)
about half a k long, 200m across, not a bad looking lake, loads of farm land near by so might get very weedy due to fertilizer run off

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:47, Reply)
and the farms all seem to have stock ponds on them for fish

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:48, Reply)
it's a glacial valley, there's little lakes every mile or so

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)

ottle of r
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:46, Reply)
Wonder what happened to his old one

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:55, Reply)
gay'd it too hard

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:56, Reply)
work hard, gay hard

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:57, Reply)
Worn beyond repair from decades of aggressive and toxic guffing.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:56, Reply)
this is why I'm anti-organ donation

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:59, Reply)
somewhere there's an old lady working in a charity shop who is about to have the worst day of her life

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:05, Reply)
I managed to score the first two Derek and Clive LP's in an oxfam book and record charity shop.
I love the idea of one of the old biddys sticking it on to see if it played ok.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:09, Reply)
Easily the lowest point in Peter Cook's career

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:13, Reply)
I really like the sketch he did with Moore and Sellers where sellers was a boxer that painted.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:24, Reply)
Swears are funny!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:34, Reply)
alright 'Kunt'

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:04, Reply)
Well Richard 'beefy' mcbeef, I would say I'm a little from column A and a little from column B
I realise this isn't a very helpful answer but that is only because I am a cunt.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:57, Reply)
^ typical 'cunt' reply

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:00, Reply)
Once again my cuntishness ruins things
I just hope that one day we can move beyond this and my cunt replies will be a thing of the past
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:14, Reply)
We can but dream

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:22, Reply)
Champagne tastes, beer budget
So I've learned to make do
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:03, Reply)
I have gold leaf toilet roll.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:05, Reply)
no u never, shu' uuuup

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:08, Reply)
And gold flake beard oil. And a Ferrari. And 6 poo

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:26, Reply)
That's a lot of poo m8

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:31, Reply)
I'm a classy dame with style and taste
Much like your nan.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:10, Reply)

Much like your nan now diddle my tits and fuck my face
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:15, Reply)
I really need to check the t's & c's of these Groupon vouchers

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:22, Reply)
I appreciate the expensive things, but I'm generally quite miserly, so I penny pinch wherever I can.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:18, Reply)

penny +random arses in the swimming pool changing rooms
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:31, Reply)
I'm an inveterate sex pest!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:37, Reply)
alright sf

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:38, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:50, Reply)
must be difficult without a spine

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:06, Reply)
materialistic things mean nothing to me , zen aint i

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:38, Reply)
Buddhist as FUCK

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:39, Reply)
Buddha goes up to the hot dog vendor and says "Make me one with everything."

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:41, Reply)
No wonder he was fat

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:44, Reply)
Hot dog guy hands over the hotdog. Buddha gives him $10, and holds out his hand for his change
Vendor replies "change must come from within".
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:45, Reply)
Buddha says, "No thank you: I do not want the roll of coins you have hidden in your rectum."

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:48, Reply)
I hear reincarnation is making a comeback

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:47, Reply)
that joke always goes down a storm
youtu.be/xlIrI80og8c
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:48, Reply)
The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop...
and rapes everyone.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:50, Reply)
Buddha shits on a dogs tits, and Yahweh says 'err, you dirty cunt'

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:58, Reply)
What is the average flight speed of an unladen swallow?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:01, Reply)
Mike Lindup will be able to tell you

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:03, Reply)
This new learning amazes me Sir Bedevere. Explain to me again how sheepís bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:06, Reply)
do you only know holy grail or sutin?
not sure you're qualified to dole out this "punishment" to mcbeef
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:13, Reply)
They've not all been Holy Grail so far.
Feel free to join in, though. The more Python we can quote, the better for McBeef.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:15, Reply)
i must have missed some then
and no, thanks. you're on your own
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:19, Reply)
L/I/N/D/U/P/

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:26, Reply)
Is your wife a..."goer"... eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Nudge nudge! Know what I mean? Say no more...Know what I mean?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:31, Reply)
#dogstits

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:38, Reply)
#knightswhosayni

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:40, Reply)
If there's a problem Lindup'll solve it
check out the hook while Lindup revolves it
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:09, Reply)
As true today as it ever was

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:14, Reply)
Found his house, lets pop round
goo.gl/maps/REWE3N5YZHL2
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:38, Reply)
see you there

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:54, Reply)
Give it up mate, he's never going to send you that 'accidental' belfie.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:11, Reply)
That was KC and the Sunshine Band m8

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:14, Reply)


(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:28, Reply)
^

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:31, Reply)
oh no, that sounds horrible

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:07, Reply)
"This is my simple religion
There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is rape."
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:11, Reply)
gusset trouble
i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/08/16/11/434B249B00000578-4795400-image-m-172_1502879568295.jpg
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:14, Reply)
classy broad

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:19, Reply)
cheers

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:35, Reply)
that picture gives me the right horn
there, in the corner
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:20, Reply)
Fancy the Daily Mail posting a picture of a scantily-clad woman on its website,
probably opposite an article ranting about the invasion of cheap foreign pornography that only Brexit can stop.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:38, Reply)
I had a £3.50 pizza the other day and it was much nicer than the £2 ones I normally get.
Such extravagance!
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:39, Reply)
oh lah-di-dah, check you out

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:52, Reply)
woah!
that's tea sorted
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:53, Reply)
I can't eat those £2 ones any more.
The salt content's enough to preserve an entire shoal of haddock for the winter.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:54, Reply)
Just sweat it out

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:55, Reply)
I'm not sure what it would be like to sit at my desk with a salt crust forming on my skin,
but it doesn't sound pleasant.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:09, Reply)
£3.50 for a pizza??

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:05, Reply)
That's 7 packs of bargain ham.
He's clearly living like a king.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:22, Reply)
it gets worse, ma8
www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/waitrose-1-mozzarella-tomato-pizza/430538-497640-497641
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:29, Reply)
FUCK OFF

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 6:47, Reply)
Morning Grry

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 6:50, Reply)
alright SM
how are the bruises?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:04, Reply)
Still a bit tender
But much better
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:07, Reply)
(what's the strry)

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:08, Reply)
oh, bindun
sorry mano
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:30, Reply)
alright

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 6:54, Reply)
word
Haven't logged in to Clash for four days now, just can't be bothered any more
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:04, Reply)
Think there's a war on

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:16, Reply)
yer, I saw the notification, but we'll see how it goes
Only half the people bother doing wars anyway now, and all the noobs that joined were shit
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:25, Reply)
Yer , dunno what this builder shits about, I'm play golf clash anyway, till I get bored , another one that looks impossible with real coin

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:32, Reply)
builder base is just live 1-on-1 fights
but it's underdeveloped and you just use the same old tactics over and over again, just like those twats using 30+ balloons. Only trouble is, I don't know what else people are playing these days.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:39, Reply)
I ment the main builders left, giants in his guts now

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:42, Reply)
Huts ffs

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:44, Reply)
oh fuck that shit
it's prolly just to stop that practice of leaving one builder hut over in a corner that you can take out with an archer.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:46, Reply)
Yo

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:04, Reply)
sup foo'

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:09, Reply)
Hello.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:09, Reply)
punctual and punctuated

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:14, Reply)
It's all downhill from here.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:01, Reply)
Hoj poj

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:14, Reply)
I don't know how to pronounce this

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:17, Reply)
I say scone

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:24, Reply)
IBYD

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:32, Reply)
The j is pronounced like the g in gif

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:28, Reply)
It's called Cif now m8
Try to keep up
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:07, Reply)
L.O.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:18, Reply)
R.U.B.C?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:25, Reply)
S.I.M.B.C

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:59, Reply)
O

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:22, Reply)
Good monging

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:26, Reply)
I leave the monging to the professionals

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:28, Reply)
"Bodie, can I haff an ithe-cweam?"
*slaps 99 onto forehead*
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:40, Reply)
heh

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:33, Reply)
*frrrrt*

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:12, Reply)
sorry, I don't speak Sphinctese

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:22, Reply)
Just testicalarian?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:33, Reply)
Come over here and talk that smack, then we'll see what happens.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:12, Reply)
shut that mouth or I will shut it for you

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:22, Reply)

mouth or I will shut it for you door!

70s canned laughter
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:25, Reply)
bit heteronormative

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:29, Reply)
what does that even mean

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:32, Reply)
Morning
Berlin's okay
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:39, Reply)
Have you spotted any of the filming locations for Atomic Blonde yet?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:40, Reply)
Think they may have been making a sequel while I was there
a street was cordoned off by runners and there was strewn army trucks and that.

Seeing Atomic Blonde next week so hope to recognise bits
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:49, Reply)
Noice.
I saw it on Monday night and thought it was reet good.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:51, Reply)
Innit
Massive dumb fun. Here is the plot spelled out for you if you didn't end up working out who was double crossing who
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:38, Reply)
Mmh.
It's almost as double-crossy as Miller's Crossing by the end.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:14, Reply)
Is it one of those cities where you can just plonk down with a pint and soak up the atmosphere?
Or do you have to continuously walk around looking at different stuff, only to come home and find out you missed all the good bits because you read the lonely planet guide instead of talking to some actual fucking residents who know what's good and what's bullshit?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:45, Reply)
Latter

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:47, Reply)
Yeah, Germany's famous for its complete lack of beer culture.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:04, Reply)
Uh oh, seems like another tea-gate might be brewing*


*pun very much intended
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:06, Reply)
There is no shortage of beer
and there are plenty of bars, but we didn't find any that we really liked. It's a pretty diffuse city and we should have done more research before going there, but in the few days I spent in Berlin it didn't grab me the same way as Madrid or Rome did. Just me I guess.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:15, Reply)
Due to *cough* certain events in the 1940s there's much less history to see than in most major European cities
I can tell you now though Gary, I can guarantee you had a better time in Berlin than I did in Paris last week.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:20, Reply)
Well, actually, I found there to be more History
just a different form. One of the underground stations actually spanned east and west Germany! The museums are pretty heavy going as well - but brilliant. Actually, that may have been our problem. Got the 3-day unlimited pass and pretty much maxed out the museums and galleries, but the Bauhaus one was shut on the day we got round to it and that was the one I was most excited about seeing.

I'd go back, but definitely do a cycle tour and book the Reichstag plenty in advance and not overdo the bloody museums again.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:24, Reply)
Ha, we saved the Bauhaus museum until our last day
which happened to be the day it closes. There was a disappointed father & son sat on the steps outside, so we weren't the only ones.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:04, Reply)
A guy I knew a few years ago said the Berlin gay scene was 'extreme'.
He went there on a long weekend and hit the clubs, expecting to see the usual room full of shirtless guys dancing, but everyone was decked out in leather and chains and shiznit.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:25, Reply)
'a guy I knew' eh?
*rubs chin*
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:26, Reply)
4 realz m8.
While it is true that I did go to Berlin for a long weekend a few years ago, I did not hit up the gay clubs while I was there.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:28, Reply)
*chin-rubbing intensifies*

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:45, Reply)
Well, my monacle did pop out when I saw this
vimeo.com/229820920
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:48, Reply)
i'm gonna be head to toe denim when these come out
www.watchuseek.com/mtwwts-nike-air-max-90-denim-corduroy-ernie-romers-mix/
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:48, Reply)
aka 'The Canadian Tuxedo'

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:55, Reply)
i actually like the shoes, i like the denim on my nike boots

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:58, Reply)
I like them too
I've banned myself from all shopping til October now: no shoes, no tunes, nowt.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:59, Reply)
no release date on the shoes anyway

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:06, Reply)
I've heard rumours that there's a room in Berghain where people fist each other ankle deep in poo.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:45, Reply)
Who do you speak to that knows this stuff?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:52, Reply)
his parents

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:54, Reply)
Do they have shower rooms in that place?
because I can't imagine a taxi being pleased to take a customer straight out of that place.

Difficult to imagine the conversation:

"excuse me, sir, you seem to have stepped in something."
"yes, up to my elbow."
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:59, Reply)
In this case it was an angry mental electronic musician who has a seething irrational hatred for DJ's ever since they got caught pretending to dj with premixed cd's.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:09, Reply)
Former
There's a spot with (I think) 5 museums on one site, then all you need to do is go to the Brandenberg Gate, Checkpoint Charlie and the old SS HQ, then you can swan about East Berlin smashing it up, safe in the knowledge that you've ticked the culture boxes.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:05, Reply)
Good to know
I miss traveling around and there's a train to Berlin from the end of my road.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:09, Reply)
I really liked the general atmosphere there
I was expecting spotless, Germanic efficiency but there's actually a relaxed shabbiness about the place which I found charming
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:21, Reply)
We never got past the first bit of your recommended Berlin holibobs

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:38, Reply)
I really want to go.
Would also take a jaunt out to some of the GDR museums outside of Berlin as well I reckon.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:47, Reply)
I bought a red CCCP t-shirt
but bottled it on the day we went to the zoo
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)

CC RH
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:01, Reply)
lol
Alright RHCPaul
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:02, Reply)

it a polar bear
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:05, Reply)
One of them was staring at my wife
What would YOU have done in the same situation?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:06, Reply)
wanked it off, m8

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:07, Reply)
See? This is why you're the brains of the operation

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:09, Reply)
and the wrists

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:16, Reply)
Do some Nazi salutes, they love that

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:54, Reply)
It really is
I liked Kreuzberg in particular
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:03, Reply)
I really liked Berlin
hth
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:59, Reply)
My boss has come back from a week's holiday even more stressed than she was before she left.
The atmosphere in the office is lovely this morning.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:57, Reply)
I'm expecting that next week
My line manager is a nice bloke but he sets up a billion pointless meetings if his excel tables don't align as expected.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:01, Reply)
morning!
what happened to 'ning?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:20, Reply)
It died around the same time as 'teh', 'ftw' and 'dibnah'
The 'Dave Trouserzoic Era'
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:22, Reply)
ah fair do's
probably best that we drowned that particular kitten in the river i guess
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:26, Reply)
Yes.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:58, Reply)
KITTEHS

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:07, Reply)

morning thread from 10 years ago and narry a ning to be seen
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:37, Reply)
Who are those people?
are they all dead now?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:41, Reply)
I think they got jobs that didn't let them shitpost on the internet all day

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:44, Reply)
so 'ning was a transient fad then? who'da thunk

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:47, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/3657415
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:57, Reply)
ooof! yep, life's better without such nonsense

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:06, Reply)

such that
nse
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:09, Reply)
ha!
paedo lols
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:16, Reply)
Remember, the alt-left are as bad as the alt-right
Yeah, right, ya massive racist volleyball.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:39, Reply)
Nazis have feelings too!
Have you hugged a Nazi today?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:49, Reply)
I did
Their pointy medals hurt my chest
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:53, Reply)
It's true, Anti-fa's roots go back almost as far as the nazi's!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:56, Reply)
No point coming in here with that.
/talk has a right wing echo chamber led by Reichsfuhrer McBeef.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:49, Reply)
Jawohl
*clicks heels*
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)
Nice Cubans!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:01, Reply)
#ReeperbahnStyle

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:17, Reply)
Don't fear the reeper.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:20, Reply)
pretty much /links

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:33, Reply)
"i'm just trying to have a reasoned debate!"

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:52, Reply)
Fascist ablooblooing is the funniest ablooblooing.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:02, Reply)
Straight white males are the last minority.
Why are we always being oppressed?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:05, Reply)
I don't think you can include yourself in that category m8

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:11, Reply)
It's funny watching them being torn between "these statues should be preserved for historical importance" and "losers shouldn't get participation trophies".

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:06, Reply)
Today: Confirmed ISIS member says he and his friends all voted for Trump
Tomorrow: Trump - "I say the WTC was TOO big anyway!"
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:09, Reply)
lol
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/i-like-people-who-shout-hail-trump-confirms-trump-20170814133993
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:17, Reply)
Fake news!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
absolutely nothing Trump does or says surprises me anymore
If he claimed to be the second coming of Christ, I wouldn't bat an eyelid
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
Nah, Christ is too much of a hippy Jew for the likes of Trump.
Trump'd claim to be the second coming of Julius Caesar or someone like that.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:24, Reply)
Ah, of course
Imagine being so anti-semetic, you wouldn't want to be compared to Christ
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:26, Reply)
I read a doozy the other day about him being given a heavily curated folder twice a day by Sean Spicer about how great he is.
news.vice.com/story/trump-folder-positive-news-white-house
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:30, Reply)
Yeah, I read that too
They have to pepper everything with his own name, just to keep his attention. Poor old Hilary. Imagine being less popular than this clown.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:32, Reply)
As P.J. O'Rourke said,
"I am endorsing Hillary, and all her lies and all her empty promises. It's the second-worst thing that can happen to this country, but she's way behind in second place. She's wrong about absolutely everything, but she's wrong within normal parameters."
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:35, Reply)
But her emails!
I liked it when he had that meeting with the Chairman of China about North Korea and it was quite obvious the Chairman had sighed, taken a deep breath and explained, like he were explaining to a toddler, why he couldn't just 'sort it out'.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:37, Reply)
Right, we've got to interview a prospective GP partner this evening. Ideas for questions please.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:50, Reply)
How long is a human pregnancy, might help you out knowing the answer

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:51, Reply)
Ok, how about "can you tell me about a time when you accidentally typed the wrong thing and everyone was a prick about it?"

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:54, Reply)
Thank god that's never happened to me.
I don't think I'd ever live it down.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:16, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:17, Reply)
ooOOOOOOoooooOOOOH!!

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:16, Reply)
^upset

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:03, Reply)
aw, sally sensitive

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:06, Reply)
No real names, pls

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:08, Reply)
soz

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:10, Reply)
Still not apologising for prescribing a 'potentially lethal' dose then?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:08, Reply)
I'm not really sure why the mods do nothing.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 21:58, Reply)
too busy giving a potentially lethal dose of digit to poor unsuspecting dogs, no doubt

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:31, Reply)
et tu, vlad? :(

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 0:41, Reply)
how many bums have you had your hand up?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:52, Reply)
Are you a regular visitor of cookingwithpoo.com

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:57, Reply)
Would you consider doing house calls on your motorbike? We're looking for a MotoGP.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:01, Reply)
vg

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:22, Reply)
a prospective gay penus partner, eh?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:02, Reply)
Ask about his favourite type of cancer.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:10, Reply)
Where do you see yourself in five minutes time?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:13, Reply)
Balls deep

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:14, Reply)
you've got the job

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:15, Reply)
Have you ever reached down a patient's throat and up their bum at the same time and been able to shake your own hand

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:14, Reply)
excellent party trick, that

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 6:12, Reply)
Have you got a human skull on your desk at home

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:15, Reply)
Name something that can't be cured with amoxicillin, that'll stump a gp

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:15, Reply)
Give it to me straight, how long have I got

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:16, Reply)
why do fools fall in love?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:22, Reply)
Interesting because i was thinking about that earlier
I may be a fool..
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:50, Reply)
'Is your wife an elephant, like mine?'

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:25, Reply)
At least she'll never forget his birthday.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:28, Reply)
I got mistaken for a doctor, just now.
I think you should ask any candidates to prove their credentials, just to be on the safe side.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:27, Reply)
Dr Snuggles, probably

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:27, Reply)
I am a little jaundiced.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:29, Reply)

jaundiced bender
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:05, Reply)
This made me laugh more than it had any right to

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:09, Reply)
now imagine him singing it, like i'm a little teapot

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:11, Reply)
Haha
Is he doing it in a funny voice?
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:13, Reply)
i've been operating under the assumption that his normal voice is absurd

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:17, Reply)
It is.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 20:31, Reply)
Summat about tits

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:27, Reply)
Cor, tits!

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:29, Reply)
"Locums earn reduce the money for half the work, why on earth would you want to be a partner?"

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:42, Reply)
What now?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:48, Reply)
I think it's telling that I never bother to read anything I type on here.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:14, Reply)
Doctors they are led it off the roaf

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:50, Reply)
They don't even earn enough for a good roaf dinner any more.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:57, Reply)
or a roaf of bread, even

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:09, Reply)
Plick

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:13, Reply)
lol cums, more like

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:03, Reply)
When did your pub get repossessed and are you still a bankrupt?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:53, Reply)
hahaha

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:06, Reply)
does he like it soft? hard? finger up the bum?
GoT quotes
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:47, Reply)
tight wee hot two into poo a prostitute DP bum gardener tits wee-minge. japs eyes porn quim chums wees, more like

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:55, Reply)
wow

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 21:15, Reply)
How common is Tom Jones syndrome?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 21:15, Reply)
extremely rare

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 21:19, Reply)
Delilah

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 21:45, Reply)
as common as a sex bomb

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 22:08, Reply)
No idea, but AH THINKAHMGONNADAANCE, NOW

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:14, Reply)
Fart of noise, more like

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:16, Reply)
Shart of boys

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:19, Reply)
ah wait I remember this one, it's NOT UNUSUAL!!!
ahahaha
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:32, Reply)
how are you on unloading the dishwasher?
would you ever steal someone else's milk from the fridge?
growing cannabis plants in the loft: yes or no?
are you considerate about playing music late at night when you don't have to work the next day?
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:09, Reply)
wait, soz, may have misunderstood the question :(

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:10, Reply)
Do you know how to differentiate between patients with similar/identical names?
Had a doddery old woman on the phone yesterday, asking why she'd had Risedronate tablets and Vitamin D3 sachets delivered. Turned out today that they were meant to be prescribed to another doddery old woman with the same name, and it was blind luck that the first doddery old woman was compos mentis enough to query it, because she'd probably have been very ill if she took them.

Still, at least that sort of prescribing error is very rare and doesn't happen multiple times every fucking day.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:11, Reply)
:-(
staff can help out here by
1.) checking the effing NHS number, address, really any aspect of the patient record whatsoever other than the name
2.) giving a tiny shit about what they are doing
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:15, Reply)
3.) Sprachen ze Ingese
HARD BREXIT NIGH
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:18, Reply)
alright Mr R McB xoxoxoxox

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:19, Reply)
Yeah, that GP surgery has serious form.
A few years ago, Mark Johnson (not actual name) was going mental because his co-codamol 30/500 prescription hadn't been sent from the surgery, and he was going off to work on the rigs so he needed it ASAP. Got a prescription sorted, after a few phone calls.

A few weeks later I saw a prescription in the drawer for Mark Thomson (not actual name) for co-codamol 30/500. Mark Thomson had never previously been prescribed any painkillers, and had (obviously) never collected his prescription.

What had happened was that MJ ordered a repeat prescription of co-codamol, it had been issued to MT by untrained surgery staff, and the GP had signed it without looking at the patient's notes.

This sort of thing happens terrifyingly frequently.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:23, Reply)
hmmmm
I know it's a system under pressure with individual members of staff under pressure but still.
www.gmc-uk.org/guidance/ethical_guidance/27249.asp
www.rpharms.com/resources/professional-standards/professional-standards-for-error-reporting
I think I'd get a bit agitated in anticipation of being stuck on an oil rig without painkillers, if I needed them.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:29, Reply)
Indeed, I meant no criticism of the patient in this case.
Error reporting is a fundamental part of improving patient care in the long term, but unfortunately those who stand to benefit the most from improving their performances are usually the least likely to engage with the process of documenting their own fuck-ups.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:40, Reply)
very much this :-/
guten nacht mein herrdgehog from heil
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:47, Reply)
Ristorante? Pizza in tablet form? Whatever next?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 0:14, Reply)
131 Days until Christmas!

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:11, Reply)
76 days till halloween icons

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:12, Reply)
yesssss

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:13, Reply)
SIL-VER SHAMROCK

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:14, Reply)
*hypnotises*

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:15, Reply)
Having your customers' heads devoured by bugs is a very short term business plan.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:37, Reply)
168 weeks til my wife stops vomiting and I have another ungrateful mouth to feed.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:21, Reply)
Is your wife an elephant?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:24, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:24, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:53, Reply)
168 weeks eh? Is your wife an elephant?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:24, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:34, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:52, Reply)
is this your wife?
betanews.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/elephant_man.jpg
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:28, Reply)
i'll wager you married some form of pachyderm

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:28, Reply)
bit racist, she's indian

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:35, Reply)
pachyderms know no borders
or some shit
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:36, Reply)
ok days, unless I'm unlucky enough to get her pregnant again in another couple of years
thanks everyone for noticing my mistake
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 16:17, Reply)
Glad to be of service

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 16:35, Reply)
welcs

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 16:51, Reply)
ELEPHANT

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 16:56, Reply)
PRICK

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:18, Reply)
ELEPHANT'S PRICK

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:34, Reply)
Fuck
ing
YES
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:23, Reply)
yeah boyee

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 16:59, Reply)
What time do you call this eh

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:03, Reply)
erm... time you got a watch?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:44, Reply)
I know , the market is fucking nuts at the moment, everything is over rrp

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:49, Reply)
Blimey
I haven't taken the tinsel off my bollocks from last year yet!
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:26, Reply)
Jingle bell-end

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:26, Reply)
wank wank

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 16:06, Reply)
"please madam, don't throw sand in it's eyes"

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 16:08, Reply)
I was going to start a thread, something about nigerian princes, but I couldn't be bothered
sorry
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:49, Reply)
don't blame yourself
let others do that
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:50, Reply)
Was going to ask for the last song you listened to Youtube links
Equally as shit as this. Kinda glad I didn't.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:51, Reply)
No, that's not bad
I don't tend to listen to an awful lot of music on Youtube these days. Or at all, really. I wonder why that is.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:52, Reply)
It wouldn't have to be on Youtube
Y'know you could type the song you heard into it.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:53, Reply)
if there is one topic that is never covered on this forum it is music

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:53, Reply)
alright sourpuss

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:57, Reply)
I liked it when Terry Scott drove one

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:52, Reply)
did you?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:53, Reply)
nah not really
dunno why I tell these lies
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:54, Reply)
Everytime you tell a lie
it makes the baby jesus cry. There.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:55, Reply)
I liked it when Terry Scott drove Jesus around in his nigerian princes

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:02, Reply)
me too

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:04, Reply)
don't think we need your extremist racist views on this family forum anyway

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:52, Reply)
right to free speech

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:53, Reply)
there is no right to hate speech

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:53, Reply)
tell that to hatie hopkins

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:20, Reply)
beats being called a cockstain i spose
edit - imo
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:53, Reply)
matter of opinion

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:53, Reply)
Don't want to be called a cockstain?
Stop being one.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:57, Reply)
It's actually pronounced "Koh-St'n"

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:00, Reply)
That's right, it's an old nautical term

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:14, Reply)
Correct

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:14, Reply)
well if the shit fits

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:01, Reply)
Well HELLO, what's all this, then?
I'll tell you what it is, it's a new thread from me, Richard mcbeef - aka t3h flebmaster!

How's it going, cockstain's?
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:52, Reply)
My local Tesco has started stocking Carolina Reaper chillies
Not really sure I can think of a use for them though tbh, other than mebbe making a sauce or this:

www.sugardishme.com/cherry-bomb-chicken/
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:56, Reply)
I have some of those
I put them in curries when I want to piss someone off.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:58, Reply)
My mother gave me some smoked ghost chillies once
They were amazing in chilli con carne
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:59, Reply)
They are nice

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:07, Reply)
Not bad
Nice coffee whilst watching avid canoeists fall into the marina
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:56, Reply)
i had a few pints with my brother friday, i just saw he is now in jamaica, he never mention he was going, bit odd

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:57, Reply)
on the run?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:59, Reply)
best place to learn running

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:00, Reply)
i assume he's with his missus and kid, but you never know, i think if i was off to jamaica i'd mention it tho

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:00, Reply)
yeah it's a bit up from 'a weekend at CenterParcs' eh, might cross your mind to mention it

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:01, Reply)
Probably scared I'd make him go watch shopping, the git

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:11, Reply)
He could at least have made a "no, she wanted to" joke

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:02, Reply)
oh wait no i have an even better one
no he went of his own accord! oh hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah!!!!
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:01, Reply)
shut up m8

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:01, Reply)
fair do's

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:03, Reply)
Cool

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:12, Reply)
Is your brother called Gary?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:30, Reply)
Nah

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:35, Reply)
My mate Gary is in Jamaica.
Tell your brother to say hi.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:42, Reply)
Is he white? That will make him easy to spot

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:44, Reply)
Yeah,
I can't imagine there will be that many white tourists on Jamaica.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:48, Reply)
people went out for a fag break without me
i guess i'm that hateful
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:59, Reply)
Smokers are jokers

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:01, Reply)
Boozers are looser's

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:03, Reply)
smack whores are whack bores

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:04, Reply)
Only mongs do bongs.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:09, Reply)
Blunts are for cunts

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:13, Reply)
Speed's for paed's

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:22, Reply)
Ah feel thuh need...tha need fuh PAED

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:40, Reply)
spliffs are for biffs

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:22, Reply)
acid makes you flaccid

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:24, Reply)
Crack is for spacks

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:25, Reply)
Billy rots your willy

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:27, Reply)
Whizz makes it fizz

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:33, Reply)
ecstasy's next to wee

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:29, Reply)
They can't talk about how much they hate you if you're there

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 13:18, Reply)
bleh

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:09, Reply)
alright beefy "richard mcbeef" mcbeef
had some a4 paper go astray this morning, shit is kicking OFF
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:18, Reply)
fuck that shit, time to go mental

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:22, Reply)
Heh, my day just got a whole lot better
We bought my wife's pal a nice bottle of rum for his 50th - turns out you can't post anything stronger than 24% to Switzerland where he lives.

So I get to keep it. N0MZ0RZ
www.thewhiskyexchange.com/p/4550/ron-zacapa-centenario-xo-rum-solera-gran-reserva-especial
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:26, Reply)
Phwooar

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:29, Reply)
ooooo xo goodness!

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:30, Reply)
That won't last long.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:30, Reply)
You're damn right, buster

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:34, Reply)
My mate took up whisky trading as a hobby.
Because he's an absolute miser, despite the buyer paying postage he sent a £700 case via royal mail that was well over the maximum amount of liquid allowed. They destroyed it.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:37, Reply)
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:41, Reply)
I'm going with 'laugh' here tbh

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:46, Reply)
I certainly did.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:55, Reply)
Your mate sounds like a little bit of a mong, just saying.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:56, Reply)
He's not stupid.
He's an accountant who seems to know the cost of everything and the value of nothing. He doesn't like his job, but spends all his free time going to auctions, car boots and junk shops to pick up bargains he can flog for profit on ebay.

That sounds a bit like 'work' to me. Certainly something I don't want to be doing in my free time.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:58, Reply)
The effort-to-enjoyment ratio does seem a bit off somehow.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 13:01, Reply)
I think he just gets enjoyment out of making money.
Sad really. I think things often cease to be a hobby or enjoyable if you start monetising them and turning them into work.

He does get some alright stuff. He managed to shift an original walkman he'd picked up in some assorted tat for over £200
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 13:08, Reply)
Fair enough, I suppose, if the enjoyment comes from the actual making of the money.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 13:19, Reply)
there are no pockets in a shroud

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 13:23, Reply)
Dead girl in the ring, tra la la la la

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 13:31, Reply)
That's a fact
It's a thing we can't deny
Like the fact that I will love you 'til I die
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 13:39, Reply)
typical jews

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 13:56, Reply)
ALL THE WORLD IS A STAGE. LUMCHTIME DOUBLY SO.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:27, Reply)
gaying it hard

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:30, Reply)
you know it makes sense

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:35, Reply)
The mrs has ordered 4 ply toilet paper
So I'm moving up in the world.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:38, Reply)
Next stop: Regina Blitz in the kitchen.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:39, Reply)
VAGINA SHITS more like!

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 12:46, Reply)
#infest

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 13:17, Reply)
The polished softness of your sphincter shall become a legend across the realm.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 13:05, Reply)
No GOT spoilers!!!

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:28, Reply)
I used to occasionally visit a pub called the Cock in Staines, true story

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:00, Reply)
Alright, Ali G.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:12, Reply)
Aiiiii

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 14:26, Reply)
NEW THREAD!
I'm back off to college next week for a few days to get some exciting training in.
Does your employer invest in you?

Job chat is boring, so tell me how you feel about something else.

Shit yourself.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:18, Reply)
Not feeling good, Windy
Maybe I'll feel better once I've eaten something
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:19, Reply)
Bit dear for a Mexi
Still, McBeef might like it:

www.andertons.co.uk/p/0144953340/solid-body-electric-guitars/fender-jimi-hendrix-monterey-stratocaster
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:20, Reply)
Nice link. Dingus.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:21, Reply)
I don't know what you mean

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:21, Reply)
*wants*

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:24, Reply)
It's pretty cool
Guitars are really going up in price lately. Probably a good time to sell some of my stuff, I guess.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:25, Reply)
Have you thought about consulting a medical professional?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:21, Reply)
For this? No, no point

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
Is it your heart that's hurting? Because you can have all my love to heal.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:23, Reply)
x

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:24, Reply)
This will cheer you up.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VG9LoHB3fqU
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:00, Reply)
The vocals sound like total shit!! it ruin the whole song!!

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:12, Reply)
Although true, it doesn't paint the whole picture

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:16, Reply)

No, no

+s at groin
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:25, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:25, Reply)
you rang?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:44, Reply)
I write porn now.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:20, Reply)
Like racy mills and boon or scripts about housewives never locking the door to the bathroom when their stepson is around?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:21, Reply)
Woah, is that what mills & boon books are like?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
The first one - the racist mills and boon thing.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:23, Reply)
mills and coon, if you like

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:25, Reply)

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=boon
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:28, Reply)
well I never

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:30, Reply)
Her bosom began to heave and her sickly sweat stuck her clan mask to her forehead.
The young slave boy could smell her juicy vag under the white sheet and his penis grew hard.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:27, Reply)
The nignog's manly bellend swang free in the breeze, as she whipped out her fanny for a good seeing-to

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:30, Reply)
alright mate
My employer does not invest in me, no.

I feel pretty flat tbh, my shit hol and subsequent grief re kid have left me feeling drained and pissed off. Abloobloobloo

Shitting myself sounds good, I'm going to deffo do that.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
*squeezes shoulder in a manly way*
*keeps eye-contact for too long*
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:26, Reply)
*gets lazy lob-on*

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:26, Reply)
It'll pick up. Stay strong.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:28, Reply)

Alright Janet Leigh. Ps fuck you Van Dyke and your shit London accent.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:26, Reply)
Oh, I feel so nice, with you here by my side, If I just do the best that I can do It seems that's enough for you

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:27, Reply)
Everything you do is the best.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:31, Reply)
I s'ppose they do invest in me, to some extent.
They bought me a new work laptop last year when my old one because so slow that it was unusable. They've also given me random gifts like a bottom-of-the-range smartphone, a magazine subscription and organic fruit and veg. I've had stingier employers, for sure.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:37, Reply)
Maybe they fancy you

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:54, Reply)
Mine gave me a lumia, the interface makes about as much sense as the control panel on Predators arm.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:58, Reply)
My employer invests in me everyday
that's the joy of working for Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:18, Reply)
I'm the boss
I invest heavily in myself.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:19, Reply)
I'm assuming if you said these words aloud
You'd then use both hands to point at your dick.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:31, Reply)
Wrong, I'd point with one hand at my penus and the other at my bumhole.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:36, Reply)
At the beeb, the courses are superb and open to anyone if your manager likes you
But that was in the beforetime. But now in the private sector, fuck all.

You make me feel, mighty real.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:22, Reply)
I got all excited as there was a beeb coding job in glasgow but then i saw how long it had been on the site and fucked it off.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 11:48, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 7:30, Reply)
Sigh

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 7:52, Reply)
Treated mesel to The Brides of Funkenstein and Jean Knight's Mr Big Stuff lp.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:08, Reply)
I'm not buying anything til October now

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:27, Reply)
:(

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:28, Reply)
Nah it's fine
I've bought shitloads of stuff in the past week and I'm in Italy for half of September. Plus Paris was really fucking expensive, cheapest beer I had was seven fucking Euros for 500ml, absolute robbery
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:32, Reply)
Richard

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:09, Reply)
awright mcbeef
it's been a year since i tried to get russel kane's attention for you on twitter

still no response :(
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:16, Reply)
try facebook
www.facebook.com/officialrussellkane/videos/1597651570309824/
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:21, Reply)
This makes me very sad
You'd hope that when someone becomes a megastar that they don't forget who got them there - the original fans.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:24, Reply)
do you refer to yourself as a Kaner?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:25, Reply)
kaneonite, actually

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:30, Reply)
nice

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:39, Reply)
^

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:04, Reply)

http://b3ta.com/talk/8106563
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 7:58, Reply)
Hotfuck

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:09, Reply)
"But where the Luftwaffe failed, it seems health and safety is about to succeed"
ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/0017/production/_97332000_mail.jpg
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:18, Reply)
jews

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:21, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8106562
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:24, Reply)
big bent more like

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:38, Reply)
hysterical screeching from the dm? whatever next

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:55, Reply)
thought they'd be happy
'london now bong-free'
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:18, Reply)
morning
/ac
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:22, Reply)
Double morning, eh?
Whatever.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:49, Reply)
you're the 'morning' equivalent of the double rainbow guy

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:19, Reply)
I am? Great!
I have no idea what you're on about.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:30, Reply)

knowyourmeme.com/memes/double-rainbow?full=1
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:32, Reply)
shit it

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:58, Reply)
you wake up late for school, man you don't want to go
you ask your mom, please? but she still says, no!
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:07, Reply)
and she threw away my best porno mag

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:09, Reply)
I like the idea of her sifting through a collection of Razzles and Mayfairs
and saying "THIS, this is the one that has to go".
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:31, Reply)

threw away was the centrefold in
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:31, Reply)
alright
feel a bit sick today, as it goes. Hope it passes.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:37, Reply)
shit yourself

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:39, Reply)
I already did one, and it didn't help
maybe I'll try again later. thanks love.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:57, Reply)
Morning
Off down the marina
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:40, Reply)
Raggo has me on 2.0 so I didn't know there was already a morning thread up, sozzo

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:57, Reply)
Morning.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 6:42, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 7:52, Reply)
Sr. Carnito

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 7:58, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 7:57, Reply)
Mupp-multiplier.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 7:59, Reply)
Morning

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:01, Reply)
^ inspired by Miyazaki.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:04, Reply)
alright

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:02, Reply)
Irie.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:04, Reply)
I had Kronenbourg 1992 in France, never heard of that before

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:07, Reply)
Any different from regular Kronenbourg?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:15, Reply)
Bit lighter, 1% weaker

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:18, Reply)
Actually it seems the '1992' bit could have been any year
Looks like the equivalent to those spazzy Coke bottles with different names on:

pro2-bar-s3-cdn-cf3.myportfolio.com/b7f090aa31ea4a7cc6834ad58b18ebbd/440cf642-937a-4bf6-86d4-2c3b197a37c9_rw_3840.jpg?h=493030088f5415a8d4988c0d5d77cebb
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:19, Reply)
I think I've had that in stubby bottles

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:20, Reply)
It was lighter in colour and taste than the 5% one, I actually preferred it tbh

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:26, Reply)
seems that's kronney red, they also do a fruit version

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:26, Reply)
err

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 10:04, Reply)
Obviously they're exporting the old stuff to us, and keeping the fresher batches for themselves.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 9:16, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:22, Reply)
socket layer

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 8:35, Reply)
my grandfather
1939-2017.

i'll be back on b3tards next week. sad shit stuff has to be done now. try not to get nuked until then.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 20:41, Reply)
RIP grampa woodo

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 20:44, Reply)
Sorry to hear that Woodo.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 20:44, Reply)
:( x

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 20:48, Reply)
:(

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 21:01, Reply)
Sadtimes

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 21:01, Reply)
All the best m8

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 21:02, Reply)
oh i'm sorry woodkovsky :(

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 21:09, Reply)
:(

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 21:53, Reply)
SMYLS

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 22:06, Reply)
tablets, now

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 22:26, Reply)
ALL OF THEM

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 23:19, Reply)
actual lol

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 23:22, Reply)
So sorry to hear that.
RIP.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 22:09, Reply)
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but b3tards died 5 years before your grandfather did.
RIP 90% of users' profiles, 4eva in are harts
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 6:37, Reply)
Alright, pranny's?

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:54, Reply)
FUCK YEAH
nah bit shit really
nah it's all good
nah it's shit
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:58, Reply)
you spanner

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:02, Reply)
shut up, dinny

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:03, Reply)
stop being planks, you two

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:05, Reply)
you spazmo

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:06, Reply)
what a divvy

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:10, Reply)
total durrbrain

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:22, Reply)
100% flid

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:23, Reply)
premium menk

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:42, Reply)
Dunno if I'm being an utter wilmot but I've never heard of a menk

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:44, Reply)
A Menk is the Mansi language name given for a folklore "forest giant" with a similar physical description as a Yeti.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:47, Reply)
Of course, I feel like a right joey now

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:48, Reply)
^spacker

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:51, Reply)
SUCH a dipstick

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:27, Reply)
speng

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:30, Reply)
wazzock

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 18:27, Reply)
try urban dictionary instead

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:52, Reply)
They must be well fit then.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 17:14, Reply)
Menkolith

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 18:32, Reply)
Up here 'mink' is used to describe a grubby person, synonymous with 'clatty' I suppose.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:26, Reply)
menk round these parts
refers to mencap cottage
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:34, Reply)
Ah bit like botley round here
which refers to Botleys Park
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 17:39, Reply)
Down here 'mink' refers to a dark-colored, semiaquatic, carnivorous mammal of the subgenus Lutreola.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 18:33, Reply)
I couldn't eat multiples right now
One is filling on its own
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:04, Reply)
works hard and plays hard, still i'd rather do the 20 days bird than 200 hours work
www.kentonline.co.uk/maidstone/news/ex-ice-hockey-star-peter-beerling-blew-earnings-130341/
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:05, Reply)
oh dear

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:08, Reply)
" I had all intentions of going back to work to pay it off. Iím not a thief.Ē
Aw, bless him. Come on everybody! I say we let him off! Who's with me?
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:09, Reply)
Yaaay!

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:11, Reply)
It's a harsh, unfeeling world where an act of theft will see a man branded as a thief.
We should all be ashamed.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:17, Reply)
fannae

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:06, Reply)
fannii

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:08, Reply)
Et tu, Fané

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:10, Reply)

images.gr-assets.com/books/1255617951l/6434513.jpg
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:12, Reply)

i.pinimg.com/originals/60/12/6d/60126df8a03172dc7295371f0cedc22b.jpg
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:19, Reply)

images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51ddYJZFmrL.jpg
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:22, Reply)
ERROR
The request could not be satisfied.

Bad request.
Generated by cloudfront (CloudFront)
Request ID: Qo_pmAl9IU8PgeWDtgKP2juA2FJP7cNtEyvTARKpz85NGkXg0j30VQ==
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:22, Reply)
oh, i was just fanny cradock's book fabulous fanny

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:23, Reply)
:) good old Fanny

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:42, Reply)

i.pinimg.com/736x/a6/29/bf/a629bfcddc9842201ae0f098f9a0c44d--pulp-art-pulp-fiction.jpg
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 18:35, Reply)
Awesome

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 20:45, Reply)

that's lunch sorted
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:11, Reply)
haha

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:12, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:13, Reply)
hahaha

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:18, Reply)
Touch it.
Go on, you know you want to.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:23, Reply)
you mean my peanus, right?

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:33, Reply)
Always.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:41, Reply)
+ your heartbeat next to mine, this is the night

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:38, Reply)
Alright 'Sam Fox'

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:44, Reply)
Haha, remember when we was young and would sing "I'd rather have sex with Samantha Fox" to the tune of the Coco Pops jingle?

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:52, Reply)
nope

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:56, Reply)
Mate, it was well funny!
Well, it was when I was 9 years old, anyway. I'm sure it's aged well.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:01, Reply)
Frankly, I find it hard to believe that someone would rather have sex with Sam Fox, than live in the jungle

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:04, Reply)
I think the ideal situation world be some sort of Tarzan & Jane setup,
but I don't think we really thought it through, at the time.

Amusingly enough, my eldest stumbled upon some hedge porn, the other day - he was disgusted.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:13, Reply)
goodness me

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:19, Reply)
too vanilla for him?

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:27, Reply)
No way, no way!
M'nah, m'nah.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:45, Reply)
Nah, his mum was in it

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:46, Reply)
He doesn't know that the cash from Readers' Wives is paying for this year's Christmas.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:54, Reply)
There was a bogging old teacher that was apparently discovered in readers wives in my school.
Always by someone 'in the year above'. Which means it was probably a myth handed down from generation to generation.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:56, Reply)
How quaint.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:31, Reply)
no

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:57, Reply)
nah

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:01, Reply)
neva

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:07, Reply)
No.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:31, Reply)
Nein

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:47, Reply)
no

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 18:38, Reply)
fine, m8
got new dvds and some nice chilli oil, plus i am currently filling my face with steak.
oh,and i got a tax refund.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:31, Reply)
+in the post, from lovefilm

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:33, Reply)
i don't go near lovefilm
it's just that every time i go shopping, i spot another film i'd like
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:44, Reply)
nice one

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:42, Reply)
how's your brother?

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:53, Reply)
Been signed off for 3wks
Brain scans, blood tests and counselling all to come
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:47, Reply)
good
positive news
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 17:04, Reply)
bizarre
He is going to fill the 3 weeks with a spot of gardening and 300 kung fu films. He is strangely relaxed about it
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 17:26, Reply)
^Second account accidentally logged in

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 18:08, Reply)
Nope
I am not Richard McBeef
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:43, Reply)
Look, if anyone wants to see my penus, I'm open to the idea
I'm just saying. Just putting that out there. Alright? Alright.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:51, Reply)
No, put it away, Two Hats.
You'll catch cold.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:54, Reply)
Nah, it'll be alright
Do you want to see it?
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:55, Reply)
Yeah, a bit.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:59, Reply)
I'll be in touch

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:04, Reply)
pervert

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:13, Reply)
The suspense is killing me.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:13, Reply)
get a banana hammock

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:23, Reply)
If he points that thing at me again, I'll fucking rip it aff.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 16:35, Reply)

ing rip
aff

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 18:20, Reply)
That's dunno sorted
imgur.com/a/OJi13
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 20:27, Reply)
When a normal barcode just isn't enough, write like another dozen digits on the end just to confuse everyone

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 20:41, Reply)
No way that would work with my Barcode Battler head to head gaming system

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 20:43, Reply)
They are grim, that's grimass sorted

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 21:01, Reply)
Some people have taken this quite badly
www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-40925062

To be honest, I'm surprised it's lasted this long. What is YOUR favourite thing to do with your other hand while wanking?
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:23, Reply)
Michael Harrison's experience of LoveFilm is way different to mine

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:25, Reply)
It was great
Then Amazon strangled the service and made it prohibitively expensive. The shits. Used that service for years, it was awesome.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:31, Reply)
Fair enough
they never had the thing I wanted in stock, and I always had to wait ages for it.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:32, Reply)
Torrents are faster than post innit.
That was the problem for me.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:43, Reply)
I once downloaded a film that I have on DVD
The dvd was is in the loft, and I wondered if I could download it quicker than going up there to get the disc. Also, I'm lazy.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:48, Reply)
I've streamed things similarly.
At one point I considered how much effort/how far all the packets were travelling because I couldn't be bothered to move several meters.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:50, Reply)
Michael Harrison will fuck you up, mate

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:34, Reply)
I don't sweat Harrison

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)
Rubik's cube

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:26, Reply)

c p
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:27, Reply)
Rubik's cube

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:27, Reply)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/8106389
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:28, Reply)
Flicking v's at the other bus passengers

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:30, Reply)

v's bogies
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:31, Reply)
Rubik's cube

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:30, Reply)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/8106391
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:30, Reply)
Rubik's pube

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:31, Reply)

p c
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:34, Reply)

R P
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)
actually I take my previous answer back

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)
you do?

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)
fingering my bumhole

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)
How many fingers, and which digit/s?

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:36, Reply)
i don't like to discuss techniques on a family forum

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:37, Reply)
No, I understand

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:39, Reply)

media.giphy.com/media/3o6wrDUeLIQZFJVEC4/giphy.gif
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:04, Reply)
murder prostitutes

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:47, Reply)
alright Paul Hiscock

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:57, Reply)
Haha I get it, like 'pull his cock'

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:03, Reply)

www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/local-news/man-in-panic-dumped-body-3146812
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:09, Reply)
It's the 3 year anniversary of Lauren Bacall's death. #noirchat.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:49, Reply)
Watched LA Confidential last night
Still a damn fine film
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:21, Reply)
Watched that not all to long ago myself. James Cromwell is consistently good isn't he?
I watched The Hitch Hiker on Saturday. Quality directorial work from Ida Lupino.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:24, Reply)
And David Strathairn
Just a great cast all round
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:29, Reply)
Yeah, quality a-list cast.
I just tried to think of something recent with that many known actors and came up with The Expendibles, ffs.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:30, Reply)
grand budapest hotel

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:57, Reply)
^

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:05, Reply)
It is that.
Rewatched it for the first time in years a couple of months ago. It's aged commendably well.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:50, Reply)
The Times Crossword.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:52, Reply)
Wonder if they'll bother to update the branding on the Wii channel to reflect the demise of LoveFilm?
I have to use two hands to wank, on account of my enormous penis, so I've had to hire a boy to turn the pages of Penthouse for me.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 13:58, Reply)
benthouse more like

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:09, Reply)
I've not used my wii in ages.
I jailbroke it, but it'll probably need updating.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:12, Reply)

i nky
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:17, Reply)
Yeah, I Jankybroke mine too

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:18, Reply)
Mine was jail broken, but had started acting up (homebrew channel would crash, couldn't load any emulators), so I uninstalled all my software with the intent of starting afresh,
but now I can't even load the homebrew channel again. BootMii finds bad sectors in the ROM, so it's probably fucked. Still plays Wii games alright, though, along with Netflix / Amazon, but is basically just gathering dust.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:20, Reply)
If you're really arsed you can pick them up used out the papers/car boots for fuck all these days.
Sounds like the flash is on its way out though.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:25, Reply)
Yeah, considered picking up a spare, but not sure it's worth bothering.
Kids are eyeing up a Switch, so I expect I'll have their WiiU, soon enough.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:33, Reply)
the switch is great. i would be playing it right now if there were less people in the office
might sneak it down to the lavs
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:43, Reply)
Now that the eldest is over 10, I'm wondering if I should encourage them to get an X-Box, instead?
Or is that all Call Of Duty and Mortal Kombat style BBFC 18 type games?
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:55, Reply)
none of the consoles are 'all' anyting, tbh
depends what kind of games they like. i rate the ps4 for having the best all-round game library. your mileage may vary
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:07, Reply)
I've worked on the assumption that it's Nintendo for kids, X-box for teenagers, PlayStation for adults.
Will see how they feel come Christmas, see if the novelty of the Switch wears off, or if it'll get any third-party support
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:20, Reply)
I'd say xbox/ps4 are fairly similar in maturity.
Plus there's so many crossovers now. Xbox one looked bollocks in terms of drm and that but I think they've rolled that back. PS4 seemed a better option at the time but I've never liked playstation's controllers as the analogue sticks seem in the wrong place for my big clobber hands.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:47, Reply)
High fives

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:07, Reply)
how ironic

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:21, Reply)
did you see my r&m link, new episode

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:25, Reply)
yer, i watched it this morning
thanks though. i've been pretty consistently happy with the episodes this series but there's so much bitching online about them. specifically the fact that they have some female writers now
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:43, Reply)
they seem ok to me, only a cartoon innit

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:54, Reply)
The last one I saw (Pickle Rick) wasn't quite as good as some of those that had gone before.
Might get outraged about it.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:57, Reply)
Pickle Rick was an excellent episode
PICKLE RICK!
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:03, Reply)
You hold a different opinion to mine.
I'm not sure that I can respect that.
(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 15:13, Reply)
i just asked someone to guess when they thought the dvd by post aspect of lovefilm was stopped and they guessed '5 years ago'

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:45, Reply)
^

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:47, Reply)
^^

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:53, Reply)
Laserdisc is the future.

(, Mon 14 Aug 2017, 14:59, Reply)

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