Joining a swingers website
is an ideal way to see photos of home decor 2 decades out of date. Also some grim genitals.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 28 Oct 2015, 17:32, Reply)

Two chocolate digestives with jam and marshmallow squashed in-between make an excellent 'artisan' Wagon Wheel.

( $$, Mon 12 Oct 2015, 16:44, 1 reply, 3 years ago)

Dip the tip of your penis into a jar of mayonnaise

( $$, Mon 12 Oct 2015, 16:42, 1 reply, 3 years ago)

New iPhone being released?
Why not pretend that your old iPhone has suddenly fallen down the toilet and make an insurance claim?

Your insurers will never suspect!!
( Vambo, Wed 9 Sep 2015, 22:56, Reply)

Allow your friends to follow your online activities more easily by using your b3ta username for your tumblr, reddit and BDSM Community profiles.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 9 Sep 2015, 21:26, Reply)

Instead of a leap year
why don't they just add 6 extra hours to the first of January so everyone can have a lie in?
( simian fold, Thu 3 Sep 2015, 22:33, 2 replies, latest was 3 years ago)

Vambo for mod

( $$, Sat 22 Aug 2015, 16:32, Reply)

Flub
.
( Vambo, Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:33, Reply)

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

( Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 17 Aug 2015, 16:39, 1 reply, 3 years ago)

QOTW dead for yet another week?
Simply cry bitter tears of rage and frustration before cracking open another can of Special Brew and having an angry wank
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 14 Aug 2015, 7:10, 3 replies, latest was 3 years ago)

keep my bellend clean by licking your mums foetid shit off it

( Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Fri 7 Aug 2015, 16:11, Reply)

Buying heroin?
Get a bit extra for later, as it can be quite moreish.
( $$, Mon 3 Aug 2015, 13:48, Reply)

When steaming chicken
A good spoonful of dried chilli flakes in the water makes no difference to the flavour of the meat at all. However, letting the pan boil dry creates an acrid miasma which doubles as an excellent tear gas substitute.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 31 Jul 2015, 19:46, Reply)

get bent

( $$, Thu 30 Jul 2015, 9:39, 1 reply, 3 years ago)

Forget your Facebook password,
Then you can get some proper work done.
(robneymcplum Fuck off D*m, Tue 7 Jul 2015, 0:43, Reply)

Stop HIV
By keeping it in there, where it belongs
(robneymcplum Fuck off D*m, Tue 7 Jul 2015, 0:41, 1 reply, 3 years ago)

prevent ECT burns
By licking the electrodes before you bite the leather.
(robneymcplum Fuck off D*m, Tue 7 Jul 2015, 0:36, Reply)

Buy 2 more cans than your missus thinks you have, then hide them in your guttering. Then decide to go out to smoke.
(robneymcplum Fuck off D*m, Tue 7 Jul 2015, 0:34, Reply)

Feeling upset about something posted on this site?
Merely contact your local GP and they will put in touch with a mental health professional who will help you move on with your life.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sun 5 Jul 2015, 11:33, Reply)

Mefeehmox broppawquance jebanebbers
Octwang thopapspeeg kopkopkia, neng shwapsappadoing viv. Rotwaa, negopoh jaspido herngmantobal dirbno - neggle ooo fraa padaagrawazhd!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 2 Jul 2015, 21:59, 5 replies, latest was 3 years ago)

If you are due in court, and think you may get a custodial.
Set fire to the judge, it'll be well lol.
(eViLegion Dogs fucked the Pope, no fault of mine, Thu 2 Jul 2015, 14:32, Reply)

If you are due in court, and think you may get a custodial.
Set fire to a building/factory and get caught for it. They cant put you in a shared cell because of that, in case you set them alight.
(robneymcplum Fuck off D*m, Thu 2 Jul 2015, 14:20, Reply)

Moths.
There's plenty of light about during the day if you could be arsed to get up earlier, you lazy fucks.
( drimble Great trousers, made by b3tans, Fri 26 Jun 2015, 2:41, Reply)

Runners in large towns and cities. Why not run through a heavily pedestrianised area and annoy people?
You could just do a few laps of a local park you fucking spastics.
( $$, Thu 25 Jun 2015, 21:43, 2 replies, latest was 3 years ago)

South Park Avatar Randomizer
South Park Avatar Randomizer
( drimble Great trousers, made by b3tans, Wed 24 Jun 2015, 7:13, Reply)

if you enjoy looking at pixelated things
superglue somebody else contact lenses to your eyeballs
and then smash them with a small ballpoint hammer.
( R2Dtard another pointless answer, Sat 20 Jun 2015, 12:10, 2 replies, latest was 3 years ago)

Copying loads of Top Tips from elsewhere
makes you look like Justin Lee Collins
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 16 Jun 2015, 1:19, 2 replies, latest was 3 years ago)