Bad Friends Bot imagines horrible episodes of of Friends

Your B3ta editor Rob Manuel likes creating bots and as a spin off from @clickbaitrobot he’s created @badfriendsbot.

Rob writes:

“I’ll be honest here – I don’t have strong opinions about Friends, but this template was just one of over 1,000 templates I wrote for Clickbait Robot and a couple of people got in touch telling me it should be its own thing so I complied with public will.

“Random friends photo + the one where… + random stupid vaguely rude thing = something I found enjoyable.

“Oddly it made me appreciate how well written Friends is. The characters are like chess pieces and you can just throw stupid words at them and imagine how they’d react.

“Not that I ever need to see the show again. Ever.”

Anyway – here’s 13 of the best.

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Anyway. Follow @badfriendsbot now if that’s your thing.

This Grenfell Tower / Austerity image is pretty on the nose but powerful with it

This from Dr.Dunno / Chris Barker is pretty strong stuff and we hesitated sticking it out but you know, it’s true, provocative and frankly fuck it, it should be on posters in front of parliament.

Click to go larger

Chris entered his image into our elections challenge and we caught up with Chris and asked him about his artwork:

When I first heard the news I didn’t think this story was going to effect me as much as it has.

The emotions I’ve felt as a result of this surprised me.

The lack of care taken for the most vulnerable in our society.

I can’t put it into words really. That’s why I did a picture.

And the way the right wing press are going to deal with it upsets me. The blame being shifted around.

It’s pretty obvious what caused this tragedy. I’m not going to blame a faulty fridge.

51 things that make people go “no” when they see your profile pic

Profile pics on social media are how we project ourselves into the world, but we also silently judge others other quite trivial things.

Figured it would be interesting to do a bit of an anonymous survey on what are you “profile picture no nos”

We got about 350 replies and here’s 51 of the best.

1. A “Make America Great Again” hat

2. A car. Jeez.

3. A flag, a percentage, a crusader, something something something AND PROUD

4. A photo that’s been posed in a studio photo shoot, the worst kind is a woman lying on her front, chin on hands, feet visible in the background. Gah

5. A picture of your child

6. A professionally taken picture or caricature

7. Anime girls. No. You’re a bloke and you probably support GamerGate

8. Anonymous/ V mask

9. Any “wellness” shit meme

10. any face contortion in attempt to look sexy

11. Any hint that the photo is over 5 years old. This makes me think they’ve aged badly in recent years, or haven’t done anything interesting and photo-worthy since it was taken

12. Any middle-aged man sitting at a desk, looking like he’s taken the pic on a porn-break

13. Any selfie, particularly pouty or posing ones taken from high angles or in mirrors

14. Any temporary picture showing “solidarity” with a place they’ve never visited

15. Anyone who sticks their finger up / flicks the V at you in a photo, I mentally chuck into the “fuckwit” category, without a moments hesitation

16. Anything done professionally. Fuck off you twats

17. Anything military

18. Automatically hate anyone using that stupid dog filter

19. Babies. You’ve only accomplished what literally every organism on the planet is striving for. Have a fucking medal

20. Bare chest (men). Duck face (women)

21. Cars as profile pictures

22. Chest hair on display with men. What are you trying to prove? You sad wankers

23. Eggs

24. Face tattoo

25. Failed attempts to make the photo look spontaneous or unplanned

26. Fucking pet pictures in profile pics. Especially with cunts holding said pet.

27. Gratuitous pic with gf in a bikini

28. Grown adults who use characters from children’s films, particularly Disney stuff. Blocked on sight, no matter what they have to say

29. Having a cocktail by the seaside are you? Fack orf.

30. Looking like a tory

31. Looking like a vegan

32. Middle-aged people using Snapchat filters

33. Minions. Fucking minions

34. Nationalist symbolism; flags, poorly drawn graphics in paint etc

35. Non-ironic duck face from people older than me

36. Not their actual face

37. Pepe the frog

38. Picture of footballer/football club badge

39. Picture of the person in full leathers and helmet, riding a motorcycle, on a track day, going around a corner so the bike’s leant over a bit, so the rider looks “brave”. Guaranteed twat

40. Pictures of people having fun years ago and you’ve had loads of fun with them since and loads of pictures done but they keep that one up and don’t even talk to 5 of the people in it anymore, including themselves

41. Pictures of pets I’m jealous I don’t own

42. Pouting

43. Professional suit-wearing headshots. You can guarantee that the content of their feed is going to be corporate BS

44. Smoking

45. Snapchat filters and mirror selfies

46. Sunglasses indoors

47. The latest “do this arbitrary thing to your profile pic to somehow in some vague unspecified way raise awareness for an arbitrary cause”

48. Trying to look like a “hitman” in a cheap Burton’s menswear suit

49. UKIP purple

50. Wedding pics

51. White men with moustaches. Every other ethnicity does them without managing to look like a paedophile.

As the sad news about Adam West reaches us, feel free to pay tribute in our Ob3tuaries image challenge

“Adam West, star of the popular and campy 1960’s ‘Batman’ TV show, has died, according to his agent. West was 88” CNN report.

And if you’d like to pay tribute then our Ob3tuaries challenge is open.

Of course we ask you to have fun and remain respectful.


Image by tim1701


Image by Blugg


Image by HappyToast

Join in at Ob3tuaries

We’re also reminded of this post on Reddit:

“I live in the same valley as Adam West. I decided to look him up in the phone book” writes slapshotten11 over on Reddit.

Introducing the “Has Theresa May Resigned Yet?” bot

This morning Guardian journalist @Allyfogg asked, “Petitioning @robmanuel to make the HasTheresaResignedYet? bot. Possibly merged with @swearclock.”

So your B3ta editor got to work and here’s the tweets so far:

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Follow @theresaresigned – NOW!

Lord Buckethead stood against Theresa May and his manifesto is the funniest thing you’ll read today

“Lord Buckethead” standing against Theresa May is British politics at its best

Lord Buckethead’s‘s manifesto has gone viral with over 15,000 retweets and likes and as @Scottbix over on Twitter says, “Oh my god Lord Buckethead’s political manifesto I’m screaming”.

MY 2017 MANIFESTO: Strong, not entirely stable, leadership

1. The abolition of the Lords (except me).

2. Full facial coverings to be kept legal, especially bucket-related headgear.

3. No third runway to be built at Heathrow: where we’re going we don’t need runways.

4. Ceefax to be brought back immediately, with The Oracle and other Teletext services to be rolled out by the next Parliament.

5. Regeneration of Nicholson’s Shopping Centre, Maidenhead.

6. Buckethead on Brexit: a referendum should be held about whether there should be a second referendum.

7. Nuclear weapons: A firm public commitment to build the £100bn renewal of the Trident weapons system, followed by an equally firm private commitment not to build it. They’re secret submarines, no one will ever know. It’s a win win.

8. Nationalisation of Adele: in order to maximise the efficient use of UK resources, the time is right for great British assets to be brought into public ownership for the common good. This is to be achieved through capital spending.

9. A moratorium until 2022 on whether Birmingham should be converted into a star base.

10. Legalisation of the hunting of fox-hunters.

11. New voting age limit of 16 to be introduced. New voting age limit of 80 to be introduced too.

12. Katie Hopkins to be banished to the Phantom Zone.

13. Stop selling arms to Saudi Arabia. Start buying lasers from Lord Buckethead.

14. Prospective MPs to live in the seat they wish to represent for at least five years before election, to improve local representation in Parliament.

15. Free bikes for everyone, to help combat obesity, traffic congestion and bike theft.

May’s face in this is wonderful:

Elmo was there too

And this is wonderful news

ALL HAIL LORD BUCKETHEAD, NOT THE HERO WE ASKED FOR BUT THE HERO WE NEED

Simply 16 tweets glorying in Theresa May’s personal disaster of calling an early election and blowing it

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16 anti-Tory election posters for you to share

We asked you to make anti-Tory election posters and wow did you deliver. Here’s 16 of the best – all with individual Facebook share links so you can share them to cause maximum trouble.

So get sharing!

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Share on Facebook – poster by Smallbrainfield.

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Share on Facebook – poster by Barbarossa.

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Share on Facebook – poster by HappyToast.

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Share on Facebook – poster by S4RK.

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Share on Facebook – poster by Tribs.

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Share on Facebook – poster by Wrecked Tums.

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Share on Facebook – poster by monkeon.

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Share on Facebook – poster by Barbarossa.

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Share on Facebook – poster by mikenco.

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Share on Facebook – poster by vbloke.

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Share on Facebook – poster by blugg.

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Share on Facebook – poster by MrDoucheBags.

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Share on Facebook – poster by S4RK.

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Share on Facebook – poster by Q4nobody.

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Share on Facebook – poster by S4RK.

16. And finally our title image, repeated so you can get the sharing link


Share on Facebook – poster by Bounder.

And images from our Anti-Tory Election Poster and Make Corbyn electable challenge.

Well done to everyone who took part and now let’s share those posters!